Uncall It
by You-drive-me-nuts-miller
Summary: Following Nick and Jess after the season finale as they stumble through their new relationship, making mistakes and growing closer.
1. Uncalling it

**Chapter one is a recap/follow on to Elaine's Big Day. Following chapters will include more development/dialogue etc :D**

***Update - corrected typos/minor changes**

Slowly yawning and prying her eyes open, Jess surveyed her surroundings. She was lying naked on her comfy queen sized bed; pillows, comforters and clothes were scattered around the floor and curled beside her was the warm, delicious body of her roommate, Nick Miller. She turned to look at him; he looked so peaceful. The gentle rise and fall of his chest highlighted the sprinkling of hair that peeked out from the bed sheet that barely covered his body. His hair was mussed up in a sexy post coital way. Leaning forward, Jess brushed a soft kiss against his forehead. Wow, Jess thought. That was one crazy day.

It had all started out as planned. Cece was getting married and Nick was going to be her date to the wedding. But then Schmidt and Winston had decided to get involved and a crazy caper of horses, Cotton Eyed Joe, badgers and air conditioning ducts ensued. Cece's fiancé had eloped with another girl and Cece herself had decided she wanted to be with Schmidt (who was at the wedding with his old flame Elizabeth). What a mess Jess thought.

At least something had turned out well, at least in the end. Initially, Nick had been the perfect date, but as time went on he seemed convinced Jess thought he was a childish mess. How could she explain how she felt to him? Jess knew him better than most people; she knew he wasn't perfect, but he had so much potential. He made her laugh, he was always looking out for her, she loved spending time with him. And he was a great kisser. And fantastic in bed. Really fantastic.

Despite wanting Nick to tell her how he felt, Jess had put herself out there and asked Nick to keep trying. It was hard not knowing exactly how he was feeling, but her own emotions were so overwhelming she had to try. She still had no idea what _this_ was. It was strange falling for someone who she knew so well. It was also scary – what if things didn't work out? But for now she wanted to live in the moment and enjoy it. His response to her declaration had been to take her and kiss her like she was Scarlett O'Hara and he was Rhett Butler, determined to have his wicked way with her. Her legs turned to jelly, her heart leapt. But then he made her laugh with a little joke. Typical Nick.

_But last night…Jess began to remember._

_Giggling, Nick and Jess had tumbled into the apartment. After a heated yet playful argument it was decided to head back to the loft; Nick's promise to make right turns only had extended the journey excruciatingly and once her car had been parked in it's usual spot the two had raced towards the elevator._

_They paused their kisses only to press the elevator button and fumble with the keys to the door of apartment 4d. Jess prayed that no one else was home._

'_Winston? Schmidty?' Nick called out. No reply. Thank God._

_Their first night together was in Nick's haphazard, mismatched room and this time Jess wanted him on her turf. Let him do the walk of shame across the hall tomorrow. As they paused in the threshold of the apartment, she locked eyes with Nick. Slowly, she reached out drawing the fingers of her right hand down the length of his tie. Nick caught his breath, Jessica raised the corners of her mouth in a mischievous smile before grasping the pointed bottom of the tie, walking backwards heading towards her room, not breaking eye contact. Visibly startled, Nick had made no objection to her assertiveness and obediently followed. Once inside, Jess closed the door behind her and with a playful shove pushed Nick down onto her bed._

"_Hmm," she wondered, "What _am_ going to do with you now?"_

"_Err, I have some ideas…" Nick replied, his voice hoarse._

"_And?"_

"_Well," he said, moving his body so he was resting on his elbows, "First I think we need to get more comfortable."_

"_You read my mind," Jess began to unfasten the more complicated parts of her Sari. (She has seen Nick try to open doors, letting him negotiate a complicated piece of clothing seemed unwise) until there were only zips to contend with. He began to unbutton his sexy white shirt (God, he should never wear anything else she thought), loosening his tie and carelessly throwing it over his shoulder. She quickly unpinned her hair so the soft waves cascaded around her naked shoulders and moved towards the bed, crawling over to him, giving permission with her eyes to finish the job. As she began to make short work of the rest of his buttons and fly, he began to remove the last parts of her sari. _

_Finally, stripped down to their underwear, they lay facing each other on top of Jess's colourful comforter, hands supporting heads._

"_And what are you going to do with me now?" Jess asked flirtatiously, although she had initiated the proceedings she much preferred a man to take control. It made her feel desired, feminine._

"_This." He replied gruffly._

_Swiftly he grabbed her body by her delicate, tiny waist and pulled her towards him. His warm, sort lips clashed against hers hungrily. Pulling her on top of him his hands searched up and down her body before quickly flicking her bra strap undone. His slightly calloused hands worked their way to her firm, supple breasts. She let out a little moan as he massaged them before his tongue sought out her tight, pink nipples and sucked, flicked and teased them until she could take it no longer._

_Feeling her excitement, Nick moved lower, kissing her soft, white skin until he reached her lacy panties, which quickly ended up on floor as he turned her onto her back; his warm hands tracing the insides of her thighs and spreading them apart. The feel of him against that rarely touched part of her body sent a shudder of electricity down her spine. Eagerly he began to use his tongue to kiss, lick and tease her. He gently slid one finger inside her warmth. He caught his breath, aching to be fully inside her. Another finger followed and he began to twist, kiss and twirl until he could feel her coming undone. He looked up her body and saw her lips parted in a sexy moan, her back arched and her eyes closed._

_After what felt like and eternity to Jess she shook herself back to reality_ "_Oh God Nick, that's amazing. But it's your turn now". With that she wriggled free (reluctantly) of his grip and moved her way down his body until she was face to face with his blue (originally white) boxers. She quickly pulled them down over his strong, sexy legs and without hesitation grabbed his hardness between her hands, massaging it slowly. Hearing his slow breathing, she moved her mouth closer and encased her lips on it's tip, continuing the movement with her hand. Her tongue flicked and swirled around him and she could feel his hardness increase exponentially. _

_The warmth and softness of Jessica's mouth felt like heaven to Nick. Within minutes, he couldn't take it any longer. "This needs to happen now Jessica or it'll be over in 2 minutes". Smiling, she felt pleased at a job well done. Reaching into her bedside table with grabbed a condom and threw it to him. He made short work of the unwrapping and unraveling it._

_She lay back on her back, expecting him to move on top of her. "No uh," he said shaking his head, "On top. I want to watch you". Normally Jess felt incredibly self-conscious naked astride a man but tonight Nick was making her feel so wanton, so desired, she needed no second asking._

_Moving up his body, she straddled his hips before gently maneuvering him inside of her. She could feel him filling her, stimulating her. She clenched her muscles and grabbed his muscular shoulders. He reached out and cupped her breasts, arching his back to increase the penetration. She gasped and cried out, "Nick". With that he began to move rhythmically, she rolled her hips in time with him, gradually moving her body parallel to his and engaging him in a deep, sensual kiss. They were fully connected, intertwined._

_Their bodies molded together and moved for each other, hands explored, lips caressed. It seemed like a never ending moment._

_Jess could feel Nick's mood change. His kisses became more urgent, primal. She wanted him to take her. Make her his. "Make me come Nick," she said._

_He needed no second asking. They rolled over so that Nick was in control, her legs splayed out and before wrapping firmly around his hips (hell he found that sexy). Roughly, he moved faster and harder. Her eyes closed and she moaned in delight. Nick grasped her face with one large hand and whispered, "Look at me, I want to see you"._

_With that she flashed open her watery blue eyes and locked her gaze with his. The build up intensified until they could both no longer take it and gave into to the feeling. Their eyes bore into one another's soul, as fulfillment and satisfaction shuddered through their bodies…_

"Jess are you watching me sleep?"

Nick's voice shook Jess from her reminiscence and she looked down to see Nick's warm eyes searching her face. A small giggle escaped her mouth as her arm sought Nick's warm stomach underneath the sheets.

"Sorry. I was just thinking about what a crazy 24 hours I've had. Actually, make that a crazy 48 hours," Jess replied locking eyes with him.

"Yeah, it's been wild Jess. But really fun. Amazing. You're amazing." Nick reached his arm out to her neck and pulled her into a soft, warm sensual kiss.

"I think I'm still processing everything. It doesn't seem real, y'know?" Jess said breathlessly as she finally disentangled herself from their embrace.

Nodding his head he loosened her hard from its grip on his stomach and entwined his fingers in hers.

"Yeah I get that, I must admit I'm finding this weird too. But good weird." He gave her that amazing, megawatt smile of his and she intuitively snuggled into him.

"I think we have a lot of things to talk about. But I guess we need to take our time. Figure out what this actually is." Jess pondered, leaning into his warm embrace.

Just then, Jess heard a loud snoring noise and the sound of a body shifting on an air mattress from the hallway outside her door. "Damn," she said, "my dad is outside, he was really serious."

"Should I try and sneak out? I really don't want my memorial to read 'killed by Bob Day for giving his daughter the most amazing pleasure she has ever had…'"

Jess grabbed the small throw pillow from behind her head and swiped Nick's head with it, "You have an awfully high opinion of yourself Miller!"

"It is what it is," he replied fixing her gaze with a wry smile.

"In any case, you are not going anywhere for the moment," she flipped over and onto her front and moved closer to Nick, bringing her soft, pink lips close to his ear, whispering "I'm not done with you just yet…"


	2. The morning after the 72 hours before

Lying in Jessica's bed, Nick breathed in her scent. The pillows and sheets smelt of her simple perfume; his own skin was coated in the fragrance of her kisses and soft skin that had only minutes earlier covered his own. Reluctantly Jess had arisen when she heard her father getting up. Thank God he was leaving today, thought Nick. As she had left the room to say goodbye to her dad and get showered, Nick had hidden under the covers, not ready to face the scorn of Bob Day again so soon after he had crushed him with his frank analysis of Nick's shortcomings.

As he lay back on her soft pillows – he'd missed that about having a girlfriend - he had his first chance to reflect on the events of the past few days. His feelings had undergone a roller coaster of change. Their first night together had been pure bliss: although he had thought about what it would like to be with Jess many times, the expectation could in no way compare to the reality. She was so amazing, sweet, caring, intelligent … But also quirky, unique and just damn likeable. And sexy as hell. He still couldn't believe she actually wanted him. He could never have guessed that when he kissed her in the loft hallway all those months ago that this would be the outcome. The arrival of Jess's dad had definitely thrown a pail of damp reality on the situation as he made no qualms about telling Nick he was not good enough for his daughter. Even thinking about it made the cold nugget of doubt and fear in his belly tighten and squirm. But, for whatever reason, it seemed she still wanted to try. She knew he was a mess, knew he made mistakes but she saw something between them that was worth pursuing.

After what seemed like an age, Nick heard the goodbyes of father and daughter and the slam of the heavy apartment door. Finally, he thought. Crawling from under her soft sheets he searched the floor for his discarded underwear and, gathering up the rest of his rumpled clothing, he went to open her bedroom door. He checked the coast was clear (now was not the time for awkward conversations with Schmidt and Winston) and moved towards his own room.

He could hear the sound of the shower running coming from the bathroom. Jess, he thought. He began to imagine her in the shower, her dark hair soaked, streams of water running down her skin … He shook himself. Now was not the time to get into that frame of mind, although he desperately wanted to join her in the shower he conceded that that experience would have to wait.

Turning the handle of his room he slid inside. He deposited his clothes on top of the growing 'laundry pile' that inhabited one corner of his room. He headed to his dresser and removed the last t shirt from it – damn, he'd have to wash something soon. Maybe he could guilt Schmidt into it. He considered taking the items and leaving them on Schmidt's bed. Knowing his aversion for anything dirty, he'd have to wash them. Hmm, maybe later. As he walked over to his window he saw a body lying on the floor on the far side of his bed and let out a high pitched scream.

"I know martial arts!" screamed a visibly shocked Schmidt, sitting swiftly upright and holding out his arms in something vaguely resembling a karate stance. "Damn Nick, are you trying to prematurely age me? This skin is delicate and does not respond well to stressful situations!" Schmidt self-consciously felt the skin of his forehead, checking for lines and wrinkles.

"Seriously dude? What the hell are you doing in my room?" Nick asked as he searched around for a pair of gym shorts and sat on the edge of his unmade bed.

"If you must know I'm hiding out from Elizabeth. And Cecelia."

"Okay," Nick began, "Why are you hiding from them? Why are you hiding from them _in my room_?"

"Well it all got a little crazy after I last saw you. As predicted, I was the reason Cece did not marry that small Indian," with that Schmidt gave a large, smug self-satisfied smile.

"Right, but I thought you are with Elizabeth now?" Nick asked confused.

"I am, and she is amazing. But after the ceremony she said I had to choose between her and Cece. I panicked. I ran away and spent 2 traumatic hours hiding in the disabled bathroom at the hotel until I was sure the coast was clear."

"I thought _I_ was the one who ran away from my problems, "Nick replied, "But you still haven't explained why you are in my room."

"Well I need to hide from them; to be honest they both scare me a little. I knew the first place they would look would be my boudoir so I decided to hide out in your cess pit of a room for the night to be on the safe side. I had a hunch you wouldn't be using it." With that he gave Nick a sly wink and Nick replied with a wry side smile.

"Okay well as dumb an idea as I think that was I'm glad I could be of some assistance. So what are you going to do? You can't avoid them both forever."

"I can try," replied Schmidt, "I once heard about this guy who became a hermit, worked from home, had everything delivered, didn't leave his apartment for 12 years. I could do that. I'm sure in 12 years this would have blown over."

"That's a dumb idea Schmidt, you are the dumbest boy in the world. You have two fantastic women who both want you in their life. How the hell did that happen? Just make a choice man."

"I say no to that motion. Anyway, enough talk about me. What happened to you two last night? I tried to call you a few times…"

"I, err, was a little busy," Nick began clearing his throat, "I drove Jess home and…"

"Then you gave her a ride on the Miller train?" Schmidt finished.

"Urgh, Schmidt! You have the worst way with words! But yes, we slept together and I gotta tell you it was fantastic. Jess is really something you know? I just need to figure out where this is going."

"You've got it bad Nick. I've not seen you talk this way about a woman since Ca-"

"Don't finish that sentence," Nick interrupted, "The last thing I want is a repeat of that experience. I want this to be different; I need it to be different man. I…Well I'm no good at talking about these things. Let's just see how it goes."

"Cool man," nodded Schmidt holding out his fist to bump fists with Nick who obliged, "Well I have to get up for Booty Burn – there is a new class starting today and I want to be up front and centre."

"I thought you were hiding? I think the first place to look for you after here is the gym!"

"Ah, I have a plan…" Schmidt reached under the sheet and removed a fake moustache and large dark glasses. He quickly put them on and then grabbed Nick's trucker hat from his nightstand. "See?" he asked, "I'm going undercover."

"Yeah, brilliant," Replied Nick, shaking his head at how ridiculous his roommate looked.

About an hour later Nick found himself alone on the sofa with a bottle of Heisler and the remote control. Schmidt had left for his class (wearing the tightest pants Nick had ever seen on a male body) and Jess had decided she needed to check on Cece and make sure her family weren't giving her too hard a time.

Whilst he was deep in concentration watching a documentary about the mating habits of the sea turtle, he was startled to hear the door open. "You back already Jess?" he asked without turning around.

"Dude it's me, finally back from A & E," Nick turned around to see Winston still dressed in his suit from last night, his right shirt sleeve had been severed and his upper arm was swathed in bandages.

"Oh, man I'm sorry, I had no idea it was that bad," Nick grimaced as he took in Winston's injury, when he had chased off after Jess he hadn't really been thinking and now he felt guilty at bailing on his oldest friend.

"Well, let me tell you this," began Winston as he grabbed his own beer from the fridge and settled down on the leather sofa next to Nick, "Apparently badger bites are not that common. I needed 3 opinions, 2 sets of blood work, 1 tetanus injection (in the ass man) and then 3 stiches. I was pissed about the 3 stiches, I was hoping for something a little more manly. Apparently I should be fine, but they said if my arm starts to go numb or I pass out I need to ring an ambulance." With that Winston took a large swig of his beer and focused on the TV.

"Wow. Well I guess it was an eventful evening for all of us." Nick quickly filled in Winston on the details of Schmidt's story.

"I do not get that man," Winston said scornfully, "And how does he attract so many great women? Damn. But I learned my lesson, no more prank Sinatra; especially not with one of the chosen people." He settled further down into the sofa and turned to look at Nick, "So," he began, "What happened with Jess?"

Nick's instant smile was all the response Winston needed. "I'm happy for you man, really. For some reason I really think Jess may be right for you."

"Well I don't want to get ahead of myself. I'm going to be honest; I really want this to work. More than I have anything in a long time. I'm just worried I'm going to mess it up as I do most things…"

"Okay Nick, firstly I've known you were crazy about her forever and I'm surprised it's taken you this long to realise," Nick raised his eyebrows, "Secondly, you may have messed things up in the past, but as I told you last night, there are other moves. You don't have to mess up every relationship you have. And you'd better not mess this up as I do not want to have to get a new roommate." With that he engaged Nick in a sharp eyes stare, Nick gulped down another mouth full of beer and then took a deep breath.

"Well that's a lot of responsibility you're putting on me here Winny, you know I don't do well under pressure."

"Well you better start, time to grow up Miller, start making some grown up moves. And on that note, what is your next move?"

"What? What do you mean?"

"With Jess, what are you going to do next? You already live together so that's a lot of the mystery gone but if you want this to become something you need to start somewhere." Nick realised he was right. He hadn't though much beyond his own elation at having been with Jess and his fears of failure –how to actually progress this was a new thought.

"Well, I guess if it was anyone else, I'd take her on a date. But I tried that already and it was a disaster."

"I think it was a disaster because you failed to actually ask her on the date" Nick cringed at the memory of his embarrassing and cringe worthy attempt to ask Jess out last week.

"You're right, you're right. I guess I've got to do it properly. Be brave. Make an effort."

"Exactly," replied Winston propping up his legs on the living room table, "And now I've fulfilled my friend duties I think I deserve control of the television. What the hell is this you're watching? Turtles again? Give me the remote."

Nick tossed the remote to Winston who quickly flicked through the channels to ESPN. As Winston surveyed the latest sports news, giving a rapid commentary on every story, Nick began to think and plan. Yes, he would ask Jess on a date, a real one. One she would never forget.


	3. The run way bride

**This chapter we catch up with Cece, a prelude to next chapters real first date. Please leave a review if you can, I value feedback.**

As Jessica quickly drove to Cece's apartment, her mind was swimming; continually replaying the events of last night. She had tried to call Cece earlier that morning but there was no answer, not like her best friend at all. So she decided to go to her and make sure she was okay. Although she seemed relieved, happy almost at her decision to stop the ceremony, Jess knew that these things were not simple and she needed to help her friend sort out this mess.

Arriving at the tall, bland apartment building that Cece called home, Jess quickly darted inside and decided to take the stairs, too impatient to wait for the elevator. As she approached the door of Cece's apartment she heard the sound of multiple voices talking over one another. As the door was slightly ajar, Jess slowly pushed it open, anxious as to what scene would confront her.

The living room of Cece's apartment was filled with people. Jess had not even realised you could fit so many in such a small space. In one corner, 4 of her aunts and her mother were engaged in an animated discussion – the aunts appeared to be consoling Cece's mother. Several small children zoomed around the room, playing tag, whilst other small groups of people littered the room, engaged in deep conversation. On the Sofa Uncle Shashir was talking on his telephone very loudly in Hindi, making completely unnecessary gestures with his arms as he spoke. _Drama queen, _Jess thought, he's probably loving this. Beside him sat Cece's room mate Nadia. Her pencil thin legs crossed and her foot tapping as she disinterestedly flicked through a magazine.

Slipping into the room, Jess made a beeline for Nadia. "Monkey girl," said Nadia noticing her approach, "You must do something. They make headache for me."

"Where is she?" whispered Jess, still irked by the nickname Nadia had chosen for her.

"Oh, run way bride is in room. She stop wedding because of Jew. Very funny."

Ignoring Nadia's ignorant comments, she headed straight to Cece's bedroom and knocked on the door.

"Go away Aunt Melina! I am not coming out until you are all gone!"

"Cece, it's me, Jess, let me in." On the other side of the door she heard quick padded footsteps and the twist of a lock. Cece opened the door a fraction, checking it really was Jess, before pulling her inside and quickly re-locking the door behind her.

Jess looked around the room. Cece's wedding sari lay haphazardly over a chair in the corner. The items of jewellery she had worn were scattered around the floor. He bed was rumpled and unmade. Cece looked tired, her hair was messy and the remains of her make up still lined her eyes. But she still looked gorgeous; it was occasionally annoying having such a stunning best friend.

"I tried to call you…" Jess began.

"My phone is in the kitchen, I've not left this room since last night," Cece apologised.

Walking over to join her on the bed, Jess took hold of her best friend's hand. "How are you holding up? I saw all the chaos outside…"

"Oh I can't stand it. They just won't leave, they feel the need to talk over every single detail and I feel so guilty… I should never have let it go this far Jess. I've let so many people down. As they have reminded me about 20 times in the last 12 hours". Cece sighed and ran her hands through her thick, dark hair.

"But you made the right decision, right?" Jess was concerned; Cece had been so positive when they last spoke.

"Of course, like I said I should not have even let it get to that point, but it would have been a huge mistake. I didn't love him, to be honest I hardly knew him. "

"Well that's good," Jess replied feeling reassured, "Look these guys need to leave soon – aren't most of their flights later today?" Cece nodded. "Great, so hide out here for the rest of the morning and starting tomorrow we can begin to move on from this…"

"Disaster?" Cece suggested.

"I was going to say mess but that works too," Jess replied giving Cece a warm smile. She pulled her friend into hug and whispered in her ear, "I got your back; you're my oldest and best friend in the world."

"Thanks Jess, it means a lot. I guess I've made myself this whole crazy situation. I can't believe I hadn't realised I still loved Schmidt. I mean, he is totally wrong for me. I find him at times ridiculous and other times annoying. But I still want him. I just can't shake it."

"Well he clearly has something going on. You've got yourself a classic little love triangle here my friend."

Cece groaned and lay back on her bed. "I know, I feel like such a bitch. Elizabeth seems like a nice girl. But I can't help how I feel." Cece shifted so she was lying on her side facing Jess. "You know after I last saw you, Elizabeth told him he had to choose. Guess what he did. He ran away."

"I can see him doing that, he gets weird around women. I think it's something to do with him being brought up by a single mom." Jess paused and pulled her legs onto the bed, sitting cross legged, "So what are you going to do? I mean you basically admitted you loved him in front of a group of your nearest and dearest…"

"I don't know Jess, I wasn't really thinking. Elizabeth was right, _he _needs decide. I've made my feelings clear… To be honest I don't know what else to do."

Jess gave Cece a sympathetic smile. She hated seeing her friend like this. At least she knew this was the best, Cece had told her so at the wedding. At least she wasn't compromising herself. Jess was adamant that people should not have to change to be with some else and a marriage with Shivrang could not have had any other consequence.

"Anyway, enough about me and my amateur dramatics. What happened to you last night? I tried to find you after Schmidt did his disappearing act."

At that question, a soft smile began to dance at the corner or Jess's lips before it emerged into a full blown beam.

"Nick?" Cece asked simply. In reply, Jess buried her head in her hands and flopped over onto her side, small giggles escaping from beneath her fingers. With that Cece quickly moved over to Jess and tried to pry the hands away from Jess's face.

"Spill!" Cece demanded. Gradually composing herself Jess began to sit up again – she hadn't giggled like this since she was a chubby teenager, daydreaming about the president of the chess club.

"We slept together. Again."

"Annnddd?" Cece demanded, "Detail!"

With a deep breath Jessica filled in Cece on the details of her experience with Nick from the conversation in the tunnels to the kiss outside the hotel and the events that followed after the apartment.

"So how was it?"

"Amazing. Fantastic. I was very surprised. The first time was not a fluke."

"I would so not have called Nick as a stud, but I guess it's always the ones you least expect." Cece finished with raised eyebrows.

"Cece, I've not felt like this in a long time. Maybe ever. I'm really confused as to what's going on."

"Have you guys talked about it?"

Jess shook her head, "Still not had a chance, I had to see dad off this morning and then I came straight here to check on you. I have no idea what he is thinking."

"Jess, he initiated all this. You've slept together twice; he's clearly concerned he is not good enough for you. I think he has it bad. And I don't blame him." Cece flashed Jess a quick smile, "You know my best friend is the most awesome woman this side of downtown."

"I guess…I'm just used to guys telling me how they feel, not having to figure it out from their actions."

"Words are overrated. I told you ages ago he was into you. I just figured he'd never get the balls to do anything about it. I'm glad he did, because it seems to be making you happy. You are happy right?"

"Oh at the minute I could burst!" Jess exclaimed clenching her fists together, "I just want to take this slow, I don't want to over think things and I don't want to scare Nick. We need to figure out whatever this is one step at a time."

"That sounds like a plan," Cece replied with a twinkle in her eye. She had a feeling taking it slow wouldn't last very long.

She came home later that afternoon (after ensuring Cece's apartment was free of relatives) to find Winston asleep on the sofa, still in his wedding suit, one upper arm swathed in bandages and the National Geographic channel playing on the TV. _Looks like someone else had a wild night too_, Jess thought. Walking over to him, she took the remote control out of his hand and turned off the TV. The quiet that began to fill the loft was heaven, the clattering of the voices of Cece's family still filled her head. She walked over to Nick's door and saw it was ajar. His room was empty but it appeared he had made his bed and she saw a pile of freshly cleaned laundry on the end of the bed._ Hmmm_, she thought, _interesting_. Nick must have headed to a shift at the bar she guessed.

A sudden wave of tiredness overcame her body as she stifled a yawn. She realised she had actually hardly slept the last few nights and it was beginning to take its toll. She turned the door handle of her own room and wearily stepped iside, swiftly removing her red cotton sun dress and selecting a favourite comfy pyjama set from her pink chest of drawers. As she turned to her bed, she was surprised to see a piece of paper and a flower waiting for her.

Curious Jessica picked up the flower and breathed in its sweet scent. A daisy, her favourite. She turned over the piece of paper and instantly recognised Nick's distinctive scrawl.

_Jessica,_

_I think we have established I am not always the greatest with words, so I've decided to write you a note rather than mess up (again). _

_I think you are an amazing, beautiful woman and I would be honoured if you would agree to go on a date with me tomorrow night._

_Please RSVP to the room across the hall._

_Yours,_

_Nick x_

Jess was torn between laughter at Nick's admission of his poor speaking skills and surprise at the way he had written about her. Quickly, she grabbed a sheet of writing paper and a pen and began to compose her brief reply.


	4. First Date - Take Two

Jessica smoothly applied a layer of berry red lipstick to her perfect cupids bow and then stepped back to check her outfit. She alternated from side to side, not sure if she was dressed appropriately. When she asked Nick where they were going he had been very coy and just advised her to dress warm. This posed a fashion dilemma and it had taken Jess 2 hours to decide on her favourite black skirt, thick wool tights, knee high riding boots and her favourite red cashmere sweater. The mystery surrounding her date had only increased her anxiety. She doubted Nick would try and relive his first attempt –the disaster that that had turned into was still a vivid memory.

Just then her phone beeped with a text message.

_Nick_

_Meet me downstairs._

Oh well, Jess thought, here goes nothing. As she headed out of the loft, collecting her jacket and purse on the way, she pondered what was happening. The sweet note Nick had written to her, asking her on a date, was neatly folded in her pocket. They still had not properly talked- between job shifts they had seen each other for less than 5 minutes in the previous 24 hours. Thankfully though, there appeared to be no awkwardness. They had certainly crossed a huge line in the past few days and she was glad they were still at ease with each other.

As she waited for the elevator she tried to imagine what Nick had planned. He had shown he could be thoughtful and sweet – the breakfast he had made for her on the roof 2 nights ago was proof of that. It was nice seeing this new side of Nick. Refreshing.

As she stepped outside of the apartment building she saw her car parked at the curb. Resting against the bonnet with his feet crossed, hands in his pocket and head down was Nick. She let out an involuntary, "Oh," in surprise. This caused Nick to raise his head, he caught her gaze with his velvety eyes and said, "Jess.."

_Oh the way he looks at me. _She felt shivers of desire, happiness and apprehension flood her body. No going back now she thought. Pointing to her car she began, "How did you…?"

"I have my ways Miss Day," he answered, tapping the side of his nose "We have a little bit of driving to do and I needed something a little more reliable"

As he stood straighter she could appreciate the effort he had made getting ready, his hair was swept back in a sexy, slightly untidy way. He wore dark jeans, loafers and a black button down tucked lightly into his pants and restrained by his chocolate brown belt. He wore a grey tweed jacket over his clothes. He looked really handsome. Jess didn't think she had ever realised how attractive Nick could really be, though she had long seen his potential.

"Ladies first," Nick called as he held out his hand and beckoned her towards the passenger seat. He opened the door and held her hand as she lowered into the seat.

"Fancy," she said as she sat down.

"Not fancy enough Jessica, but it's a start."

Nick darted around to the driver side door (not attempting to slide over the hood as he had the other day) and quickly inserted the keys and pulled onto the road.

As they drove to their destination, easy chatter filled the car. Jess told Nick about her second day substituting and how she was hopeful it could turn into a full time job. Nick talked about the 2 drunken women who had got into a catfight at the bar over some guy named Jungle Jeff. Big Bob had had to pry them apart from each other and throw them out, apparently little tufts of hair extension had littered the bar floor.

Finally, Nick pulled of the highway into a dark, deserted car park. It took her eyes a few seconds to adjust until she realised they were at the beach. "Nick, what-" she began.

"Just trust me," he interrupted and quickly leapt out of the car and opened the door for her.

"Nick you really don't have to do the whole door opening thing you know, I have hands, they do work."

"Oh I know that," he said with a mischievous smile, "But I want to. Come with me."

He took Jess's hand and they began to walk towards the deserted sands of the beach. After a minute or so Nick sat down, he took of his jacket and laid it on the sand and gestured for her to join him.

Jess turned to look at Nick with a quizzical expression, "I'm very confused. I like the beach and all Nick but…"

Nick turned to face, resting one arm on his folded leg, "I wasn't sure how to play this. Wait, play is the wrong word," he gave her a pleading look that said, bear with me, "I wasn't sure where to go with this, with us," he said gesturing to the two of them. "I tried the fancy dinner thing, and that was a disaster, and we both know each other so well I thought it would be false to try a usual first date, get to know each other thing." He took a deep breath, "So I decided I would take you to a couple of places that reminded me of you, of us."

Sudden realisation melted through Jess's body as she re-surveyed her surroundings. This was the beach they had came to when Nick had had his cancer scare last year, this spot was exactly where they had both fallen asleep after spending hours talking. Turning back to face Nick, she smiled, "Nick… Why here? I mean, I thought you were drunk, I thought you didn't remember…"

"I play a good drunk Jess; I find it's helpful when I want to pretend I have forgotten something. But I remember that night, really well. I mean what I said to you at the time. I think this is the place where I first felt something real between us, even if I had no idea then."

Jess broke into a smile and leaned towards Nick, drinking in his masculine smell and tilting her head for a kiss. Nick bent down his head and gave her the lightest, most tender kiss she had ever experienced. This was not a fiery, urgent kiss as their others had been. No, this was different. The kiss deepened as his tongue gently searched her mouth, his strong arms wrapped around her, pulling her closer to him in a suffocating, intoxicating embrace.

Slowly they separated and Jess caught her breath. "Nick, this is really special. I had no idea that you had felt like this…"

"Well, neither had I, until recently Jess. And we still don't know what this is. You kinda worked your way into me, like an infectious virus."

Jess playfully swatted him and showed mock outrage on her face, but secretly she was thrilled. Maybe he wasn't exactly telling her how he felt, but it was the closest he had gotten to a real declaration.

Abruptly he stood up, "Come on," he said, "We have another stop to make." He helped Jess to her feet and then began to dust the sand from his pants and Jacket. As they made their way back towards Jess's station wagon, she couldn't resist being a little curious.

"So, where would this next stop be?" Her mind whirled, struggling to think of a place significant in the history of Nick and Jess. Most of their significant interaction had occurred in the loft. Surely it wasn't there?

"It's a surprise," is all that Nick would say. Once again he opened the door for her and then sat himself, starting the engine and driving away.

This time their conversation came in fits and starts. Jess felt a little tired from the salty sea air, both of their minds were consumed with what had happened. What might happen next. At some point Jess had nodded off and she awoke to the feeling of him gently shaking her, "Jess, we're here."

This time she gave him no chance and quickly opened her door and stepped outside. The air was cool, much cooler than at the beach, and damp. She was glad of the advice to dress warmly. As she looked around she could see far in the distance a faint glow that she assumed was the lights of the city. Other than that the only notable observations were the pinpricks of light coming from headlights of cars in the distance and the faint hum of car engines and rubber against tarmac.

She turned back to the car to see Nick getting something out of the trunk. He rounded back to the hood and laid out a plaid picnic blanket. In the middle he placed a small blue cool box and 2 red plastic cups. Intrigued, she tilted her head and looked at him quizzically.

"Come here," he demanded. Taking her hand, he helped her onto the hood. It was tricky to not slide around because of the blanket but she eventually got her balance and sat upright with her ankles crossed. Nick joined her and immediately opened the cool box. He removed a bottle of rose wine from inside and poured a generous serving, handing it to her, "Pink wine m'lady?"

"Sir, are you trying to get me drunk?" she said in mock horror.

"Maybe," he replied with a smile, whilst he opened his own beer and poured it into another red cup. "Cheers," he said, raising his glass.

"To…us?" Jess continued quizzically.

"To us," Nick repeated, in a slightly more certain voice. The two plastic cups clipped against each other with a click and they both took a long, slow drink.

"So Nick, you've lost me here with all… this" she gestured with her free hand to the area around them.

"Well actually, it's a bit of a cheat. I put 2 things together for this one. This here is where I can when I did my runaway idiot act last year. Down there," he pointed to a spot somewhere in the distance, "Is where you saved my ass from a coyote." At this Jess let out a throaty pear of laughter. "It's also where you said that you would be okay. Because you met me." Nick's gaze was focused on the crisscross pattern of the blanket on which they sat, afraid to meet Jess's gaze until he had finished. "And this," he said tapping the metal hood of the hood, eliciting a low bong sound, "Is where we sat the night after Schmidt's dumb re-launch party. Both times when I felt really close to you. They were times, on reflection, where I think this really started." Finally he lifted up his eyes and met Jessica's large, surprised eyes, her mouth forming a perfect oh.

"Nick, I…"

"Oh Jess, this was dumb. I really don't know what I am doing. I thought this would be romantic but now I am feeling it's actually a little creepy." He sighed and dropped his shoulders, his thumb anxiously rubbing at the white rim of his Solo cup. He had blown it. He should have just done flowers and a movie. He was no good at this type of thing. He felt his mood deflate as the silence between them extended uncomfortably.

Suddenly he felt a soft had cupping his face, turning it towards Jess. "Look at me Nick, please," he eventually acquiesced to her demand and raised his eyes but kept his head lowered. "I wanted to say I had no idea. But that would be lying. I felt those things too. I guess it was never the right time, or I just didn't think that friends could become… Something more. But here we are."

"Here we are indeed," Nick echoed.

"This is the sweetest, most thoughtful date I have ever been on. You did good Nick," and with that she gave him a warm smile that extended to her eyes. She reached forward, leaning across the cool box and took hold of the other side of his face. Gently pushing him backwards, she slid the box to the bottom of the hood and leant over him. She surveyed his face, searching for an answer to unspoken questions. Letting out a little giggle, he laughed with her, before pulling her into his warm embrace. This kiss was something new. Nick Miller had many kisses it appeared. It was a powerful, manly kiss – she felt tiny in his arms as he effortlessly pulled her closer to him. Their forgotten cups overturned and pink wine and beer saturated the blanket around them. His mouth sought hers determinedly, what he could not say with words he tried to say with actions. His arms enveloped her back and she felt safe, complete and at the same time scared. Every embrace increased her desire for him. She did not need him. She _wanted_ him. She was scared she was falling too fast as their kisses became more passionate. Until - _crash_. The moment was ruined as the sodden blanket gave way from the hood and they both slid clean off and landed in a pile on the dirt ground next to the car. Jess landed on her back and Nick tumbled on top of her; the blanket and cool box quickly following.

"Ouch," he yelled as the cool box fell onto his back scattering ice, beer bottles and wine around them.

"Well that was one way to ruin the moment…" Jess began, before collapsing into fits of infectious giggles. It was typical. Nick guessed nothing would go exactly right in this… whatever it was. Unable to contain himself Nick joined in in the laugher.

"I think I may need a nurse," he finally added as the laughter died down, "I may have a concussion"

"Really Miller? The cool box hit your back. You cannot get a concussion from that."

"Okay them, maybe a masseuse, I'm feeling a little stiff," He pretended to flex and stretch his non-existent injury. Jess continued to tease him other they both made each other laugh until their sides hurt.

After they had composed themselves, they sat again on the hood, her head resting in the crook of his shoulder, looking up at the stars and drinking the remnants of cool fated cool box. They talked for what felt like hours about the multitude of topics that don't enter into most normal roommate conversations, worst dates, school stories, drunken stories; before they decided that they needed to head back, Jess had to work in the morning.

Back in the loft Nick walked Jess to her door. He took one hand and placed a soft kiss on it. "Good night Jess, I've had an amazing night." With that he let go of her hand and began to step away.

"Good night Nick…Wait, Nick, don't you want to..?" she gestured to the bedroom door behind her.

"Jess that is the dumbest thing you have said tonight, of course I do. But I also want to do this properly, first date rules. I don't want to rush this," with that he gave her one last smile and a kiss on the forehead before turning and heading into his own room.

Jess opened her door and laid her back against it as it closed. She felt deflated. Surely, she should think it sweet that he was trying to do,' the right thing'. But wasn't it a little late for that? That ship had already sailed.

Quickly, she made a decision. When it came to sex, she struggled to be assertive, she preferred a man to take charge. Her experiences with Dr. Sam had only proved to increase her belief of her own lack of sex appeal. But hell, Nick had put himself out there tonight so she was going to do the same.

She headed to her wardrobe and picked out the pink and beige checked shirt she had borrowed from Nick the other morning. Quickly removing her other items of clothing, she fastened the shirt over her body, using the minimum of buttons to ensure basic modesty. She gave herself one last look in the mirror. Let's do this she thought, heading towards her door.

**So what is Jess's big plan? (Hint next chapter will be back in the M rated category!).**


	5. Buttons

**Please leave a review/PM me if you like this/have any criticism - feedback is always appreciated! Thanks for reading.**

_Nick_

Sinking to a sitting position on the edge of his bed, Nick's head sank into his hands and he inwardly groaned. _What are you playing at Miller? _he thought. _She was practically throwing herself at you and you said no?_ He sighed deeply and lay back on his bed. He had tried to play the perfect gentleman, play by the rules. But who was he kidding? He was far from that. He was messy, occasionally a little crude, definitely rough around the edges and he was not the kind of guy to turn down the advances of a beautiful woman. _Until now._

_Jess_

Jessica Day had been stood silently outside of Nick's room for the past 3 minutes. At least twice, her hand had hovered over the door handle before quickly retreating to her side. _C'mon Day, _she said to herself, _You've made it this far, don't wimp out now. _In fact, she wasn't sure why she was hesitating. She was 99% sure that Nick was not the kind of guy to say no, given the circumstances. Maybe it was because it _was_ Nick, that made it - strange. They had already slept together twice, but the weight of their friendship experiences vastly out weighed this ... Whatever it was. Taking a deep breath, she stopped thinking and turned the handle, pushing her way into his room.

_Nick_

The sound of his door creaking open startled Nick and he rose up on his elbows from the sprawled position he had adopted on the bed. A thin shaft of light crept into his room and he could just make out a single figure sliding through the gap. Momentarily he was confused, until he saw the outline of tumbling curls and long slender legs. "Jess...?" He called out, "What are you doing?"

The figure advanced towards him and became clearer, more in focus. She was not wearing her usual pyjamas, she was wearing his shirt._ God she looks sexy_. A woman in man's shirt really did it for Nick and this was no exception. He felt the stirring of desire rising in his abdomen. For a few seconds no words were spoken. He took the chance to survey this sight thoroughly. She was wearing one of his favourite shirts, he counted 3 or 4 buttons fastened barely covering her modesty. The fabric gently stretched over her pert breasts, he could see the smooth skin of her stomach through the small gaps between buttons. At the hemline, the material hardly covered her, skating over her thighs, he could almost see... He swallowed hard. Shaking himself he broke the silence, "Uh, can I uh..."

She took a step closer to him and leant forward so she was closer to his face. As a consequence he had a full view down the shirt, _holy shit_, he thought _what is she playing at._

_"_Nick," she said in a breathless voice, finally breaking her silence, "I was getting ready for bed and I found this shirt of yours," she playfully grabbed the collar and pulled it slightly down over her shoulder, exposing another few inches of skin, "And I thought, perhaps, you might like it back." Her eyes bore into his hungrily and she bit lip lightly as she enjoyed the confused, aroused, elated expression on his face. She let her hand slowly sink back to her side, letting it gently caress her curves as it went.

Nick swallowed, "Well, that could be a little difficult Jess, I mean, you are wearing it," Nick felt his breath coming in short, shallow breaths. Women don't usually come on so strong when you are a plain old bartender. Well, not unless you count the drunken ones who hang around the bar at 2am and need practically throwing out of the door.

"Well if a little problem like that is going to stop you, I guess I wasted my time coming all the way over there." With that Jess slowly straightened up and turned towards the door.

Immediately, Nick grabbed her right arm and pulled her back towards him, in a move reminiscent of their first kiss. He quickly stood up to meet Jess, face to face. "If you think I give up that easily, you don't know me very well," he said in a gruff, breathless voice. Excitement and arousal flooded his body. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest.

_Jess_

As Jess stood before Nick, her heart was in her throat. Nick was gazing down at her with an intense honesty that scared her. Swiftly, his hands grabbed for the opening of the shirt and in one swift move he pulled the two pieces of fabric apart, buttons flying in all directions. As she stood before him, feeling incredibly naked, she could feel his eyes drinking her in. She felt the twirling stir in the pit of her stomach, a rising level of desire. She wanted him to touch her. To take her. To throw her down on his bed. Instead his hands approached her, but they did not touch her skin. Taking the lapel of his shirt he pulled one side down first and then the other, "I believe this," he said breathlessly, "Is mine," as he pushed the last of the shirt over her shoulders and it dropped to the floor in a crumpled pile.

Standing, stark naked, Jess felt vulnerable, but at the same time powerful and sexy. This was not like her last few attempts at seduction, here she felt confident, like she could do anything. She stepped closer to Nick, closing the gap so barely a fingers width could be inserted between them. Standing on her tip toes, she craned her neck closer to his ear and whispered, "You've made me cold now."

"Well, we can't have that can we?" And with that his hands reached around Jessica, cupping her buttocks. Effortlessly, he scooped her up and her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist. Hungrily, he kissed her, swinging around until she was hovering over the bed.

_Nick_

Drinking in the feeling of her legs wrapped around his waist, he switched into an instinctive mode. This tension between them was palpable and the electricity of the kiss passed through their bodies like lightening. Swiftly, he laid he body gently against the bed below and enveloped her small frame in his own.

_Jess_

The satisfying feel of the weight of Nicks body pressed against hers was only enhanced by the rough feel of his shirt buttons and jeans on Jess's skin. The sensation as Nick moved stimulated her in ways she had not thought possible. His lips began to travel over her body, layering it with feathery, passionate kisses whilst his hands roamed until she felt there was no part that was yet to be touched. She moved her own hands to the buttons of his shirt - they were small and tricky. She wanted to touch the warm skin of his chest and wrap her fingers in the smattering of hair that covered it, so instinctively she hooked her fingers into the fabric and pulled the buttons apart. _Now they were even._

Jess's hands worked worked their way underneath his shirt and around his back, pressing herself against him. His kisses had now returned to her neck - teasing kisses against the sensitive part of her neck, just behind her ear. The feel of his soft lips and warm breath made her ache and burn. She writhed and squirmed beneath him. How could something so simple as that drive her wild?

_Nick_

Nick felt the increase in response to his kiss, the tightness in his pants was becoming unbearable. In a fluid motion, he picked Jess up once and and whilst continuing to kiss her he slowly walked over to his wooden dresser. With one hand bushed the items upon it to the floor and sat her perched on the edge. He engaged her wide eyes in a meaningful stare, his breath was hoarse and heavy, as he unbuckled his belt and fly and pushed them with his underwear to the floor.

Jess grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him back towards her, leaning back onto the onto the dresser so his body pressed against her again, his still half worn shirt ticked her skin.

"Now," she whispered breathlessly into his ear.

_Jess_

His hand slipped into the dresser and removed a condom. Jess pursed her lips in anticipation, but was still shocked when abruptly Nick thrust into her powerfully. Her head fell back in pleasure as his thrusts pushed her rhythmically against flat surface. It was rough, hard, she felt dirty. Wanted.

_Nick_

The warm tightness of Jessica sent waves of pure pleasure through Nick's body. He was no longer in control of his actions as he continued to grind his body against hers. This wasn't lovemaking. Or even sex. This was fucking, pure and passionate.

_Jess_

Jessica felt herself escape from her body as Nick's thrusts increased in speed and power. She began to gently moan in pleasure as the dresser began to rock against the wall. Someone would hear. She didn't care. She felt burning build in the pit of her stomach. It was raw, primal, she felt used but desired. She rocked her own hips, urging him to increase his speed.

"Jess, Jess, oh, God..." Nick's voice trailed off as his body shuddered and jerked in orgasm. Seconds behind him Jessica followed.

"Nick..." She barely managed speak as her voice broke.

Sweaty and breathless they lay against each other and gradually returned to reality. Nick turned his face towards her and pressed his lips against her damp cheek. His fingers brushed away moist strands of hair for her face and he cupped her cheek with his other hand. "That was amazing Jess. You're amazing," he finished, placing another simple kiss on her lips.

Jess was exhausted, the long day and physical exertion had taken it's toll. One last time, he picked her small body up and walked back to the bed, her lay her on his newly cleaned sheet. Quickly, he removed what remained of his shirt and slid into bed next to her, she lay on her side and he enveloped her in a protective hold.

"I think I owe owe you some new shirts," she said in a sleepy voice.

"I think I can let you off, just this once," he replied rubbing his hand against the soft fuzzy skins of her stomach.

"Mmm," she yawned, "Goodnight Miller."

"Goodnight Day," he replied.

_Later that night_

In the early hours Nick woke with a start, some kind of nightmare had jerked him out of sleep. He had a feeling of being out of control, lost and confused. He felt the warmth of Jess's body against his and the regular sound of her soft breathing. He liked to watch her sleep. She was so peaceful, a sleeping beauty. Moving his arm from under her neck, he stroked her soft, dark hair and lightly touched the ivory skin of her back. He sighed. He was clearly in over his head, falling faster than he thought possible.

Silently, barely in a whisper her said to himself, "Oh man, I think I'm falling in love with you." And with than he reached forward and placed a gently kiss against her shoulder before rolling over and trying to return to sleep.

At the same moment Jessica's eyes popped open and her ears pricked. Had she heard that right ...


	6. Other Moves

**I hope you enjoy chapter 6! I plan to keep this going as long as possible, please leave some feedback if you can, review and feedback motivate me to keep writing!**

The warm water ran in cascades down Jessica's back as his kisses across her throat made her head swim. Nick's hands slid easily across her body, aided by a combination of water and soap. The loofah he had just been washing her with lay on the floor of the shower, long forgotten. She gently moaned in pleasure. He began to kiss her again urgently, slowly pushing her back towards the cool, tiled wall of the cubicle; they both moved through the stream of water, their kisses drowning in a waterfall. Her back pressed against the wall, Nick's attention began to move lower, with a trail of passionate kisses, until he was on his knees and he began to twirl and lick his tongue against her clitoris, causing Jess to gently bend her legs to give him better access. She tightened her thighs against him, locking him in place. Jess's breath came in ragged bursts as she sank her nails into Nick's shoulders.

"Nick," Winston's voice came, "Nick?"

Instantly Nick and Jess froze, Nick looked up and he stared at Jess. They both widened their eyes in shock and quickly Nick stood back up. Nick raised his hands as if to say, what should I do? Jess brought her fingers to her lips in a gesture to be quiet.

"Nick, where are you? I need to ask you a question," Winston's voice appeared to be moving closer to the bathroom. Nick made a pleading face to Jess and Jess shook her head violently as if to say don't you dare say a word. Suddenly they heard the door of the bathroom opened up, "Winnie, what up my man?" Simultaneously, he picked Jess up and she wrapped her legs around him. She pulled a face at him as if to say I cannot believe you are doing this.

"Just wanted to ask if you are coming to Daisy's party tonight? She needs to know numbers."

"Yeah man, sure, I'll be there," Nick said quickly.

"Great, 8.30, don't forget."

"No problem."

"Cool. Oh and hi Jess." With that Winston exited the bathroom and the door slammed shut.

Immediately Nick and Jess burst into fits of laughter, "Oh my God that's so embarrassing!" Jess cried between laughs.

"Aw he's seen worse. I think you were being too noisy earlier!"

"Oh really! Well I do believe this was your idea, I was just trying to have a nice little shower…"

"Jess, you dropped your towel while I was brushing my teeth. I'm only human. And personally I think all showers should be like this. If that happened I don't think I would ever leave this area." He gave Jess a wide smile.

"Oh, interesting." She murmured running her fingers through Nicks hair which was slick from the water still running down it. "So, what should we do now?" she asked looking up at him coquettishly. Nick took no time for her to answer and pressed his lips against hers and started again from where they had left off.

Arriving at Daisy's apartment block, Nick laid his arms overs Jess's shoulders as they walked towards the lobby. She was wearing a sky blue dress with a full skirt and delicate red shoes, her hair was lightly curled and she wore just enough make up for it to be considered 'night'. Nick could not believe how lucky he was. She was so beautiful. It'd been 2 weeks since Cece's almost wedding and he still could not believe what was happening. They had spent every night together since, apart from the one night when Nick had worked late past a shift at the bar. He had arrived home to find Jess asleep on the sofa, in the middle of reading a book, her glasses still perched on her nose. He has gently picked her up and carried her to her bed, removed her glasses and gave her a kiss on the forehead before covering her in sheets and returning to his own room.

As they waited for the elevator, "Hey, I just realised, this is our first party together," her eyes twinkled as she adjusted nicks skinny black tie that he wore over his dark plaid shirt.

"Well, not exactly Jess," Nick replied.

"Okay, so we have been to parties together before, but this is the first time as…"

"Your boyfriend?"

"And your girlfriend?"

They both smiled at each other in relief. The past two weeks had been a haze of work, passionate kisses, crazy sex and late night chats but they had still not really discussed their feelings or exactly what was going on between them.

"So, we're finally giving this I name?" Nick asked quizzically.

"I guess we are. Man this is weird," she laughed nervously.

"Yeah, but good weird," and with that he pulled her into a kiss as the elevator doors opened.

Walking into Daisy's apartment, it was clear the party was in full swing. The air was warm and humid with the heat of too many bodies in a small space and the room was littered with people talking, dancing and drinking. Quickly Nick spotted Winston talking to a group of people, he raised his hand in greeting. Around the apartment there were several tubs filled with beer bottles and ice. Nick pulled one out and gestured to her. Jess wrinkled her nose, she wasn't a good beer drinker. "I'll go to the kitchen and get something more suitable," she kissed Nick on the cheek and headed off to find the kitchen.

Twisting the cap of his beer bottle, Nick made his way to join Winston and his group of friends.

"Hey, Nick! You're here!" Winston was already slurring his words. He could be so terrible with alcohol, Nick remembered all the previous times he had had to get him home when he'd gone too far. _At least tonight he doesn't need me to do that._ He clinked bottles with Winston and took a long swig of the cool, bubbly liquid.

"So, guys, this is my good friend Nick," Winston gestured to the 3 men who stood with him, "These guys are all flight attendants? Can you believe it? And guess what – they are not gay! Man, you learn something new every day." Silently Nick apologised to the men with his eyes.

"Cool. Let's go get some fresh air Winston." He took Winston by the arm and led him towards the balcony, as he walked he grabbed a bottle of JD and a couple of plastic cups from the coffee table.

Once outside he laid the drinks on the floor and took Winston by the shoulders, "Man, I love you but you've got to calm down. You always go too big, play it cool. These are Daisy's friends; you need to appear a bit less…Crazy Winston."

"Man, you're right. I'm just so damn nervous and I don't do well under pressure and I guess my move is to get some Dutch courage."

"Well, someone once told me there are other moves."

"Yeah, there are," Winston met Nick in a smile, "Cheers," he said.

"Cheers," echoed Nick.

_Inside_

"Excuse me, please, er, can I get past?" Jess struggled to fight her way through the crowd to get to the kitchen. She had first accidentally entered a bedroom (which was certainly not empty) before finally finding one of Daisy's friends who pointed her in the right direction. Finally reaching the door she entered the room and enjoyed the slightly cooler air that filled it. Unusually for a party there was only one other person in the room, rooting around in the refrigerator. She scanned the kitchen surfaces for a bottle of wine and when she could not see one she called to the person across the room, "Hey, is there any pink wine in there?"

Slowly a face edged out from the side of the fridge door and as a voice said, "Jess?"

It was Sam. . _Oh my God,_ Jess thought, inwardly screaming. She had not seen Sam since that awkward moment at the Indian marriage convention where they had broken up some months earlier. Jess swallowed.

"Sammmm, hi," an awkward smile grew upon her face. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same," he began, removing a bottle of wine and pouring some into a small plastic cup, "I work with Amanda."

"Daisy's roommate," Jess asked as she accepted the cup from Sam.

"Yeah." Sam answered as he closed the door. He moved closer to Jess, a bottle of European cider in his hand.

"Well, this is… strange…" Jess began. She caught Sam's eyes. She had forgotten how gorgeous Sam was.

"Look Jess, I don't think this needs to be weird. We've both moved on and what we had, well, it wasn't meant to be." Jess smiled in relief. She'd also forgotten what a nice guy he was.

"Thanks Sam, the way we left things, you know, I was worried you'd hate me," She took a sip of her wine and felt the liquid warm her throat.

"Actually Jess, I began to regret it, what I said, almost immediately. I felt like I over reacted. You said he had kissed you. I guess I just felt jealous." Sam moved closer and jumped up so he was sat on the kitchen worktop.

"Well maybe you were right to be jealous," she began, hopping up to join him on the bench.

"So you and Nick?" he asked.

"Yeah, well it's new, very recent but… Well we'll see." Jess smiled and lightly blushed as she thought of Nick.

"Well I'm happy for you Jess, I always thought you were a great girl and I was sad things didn't work out. "

"Thanks Sam, so what about you? Any news?"

"Actually…" Sam began.

_Outside_

Whilst Winston was gradually beginning to compose himself, Nick began to feel the effects of the Jack Daniels. He felt fuzzy headed and hot. The last thing he wanted to do was get too drunk.

"Hey man, I'm going to find Daisy. She's going to think I've bailed we've been out here so long."

"Yeah, you're right. I should find Jess too; I wonder where she got to."

Nick moved to slide open the door, taking the bottle and cup with him. Winston darted off immediately to find Daisy. Nick started to look for Jess.

_Inside_

Sam had finished telling Jess about his new girlfriend, Lydia. She was a doctor he worked with. "So much for not getting involved with the people you work with." Jess teased.

"Yeah, I guess rules are made for breaking." Sam smiled and took a drink.

"Well, look at us, two very civil exes both happy for each other. I feel so grown up."

"C'mere," Sam waved her towards him and grabbed her in a bear hug. Jess giggled in surprise.

"Jess…" Nick's voice called out as the kitchen door swung open. Instantly his eyes sprang to the site of Jess and Sam mid-hug. Surprised, Jess quickly pulled back from the hug. Nick stared at the couple sat on the worktops. His face turned from surprise to a resigned acceptance.

"Nick, I…" she began, gesturing to Sam.

"I've been looking for you…," Nick's voice trailed off.

"Look who I bumped into, Sam!" Jess voice showed a strained brightness.

"Er, yeah, um, I'm just gonna…" and with that he turned and left the kitchen.

Without waiting a moment, Jess slipped down onto the floor and headed after Nick. He was rapidly moving his way through the crowds, heading towards the door. "Wait, Nick, wait…" Jess's voice was lost amidst the hubbub and music that filled the room. She finally got close enough to grab the back of his shirt and he quickly swung around. "Where are you going?" she asked.

"I, just remembered I got something I have to do," he mumbled.

"At 10pm? What could you possibly have to do now? We are at a party Nick, you can't just walk out. I don't understand…"

"Look, I saw you with Sam. I know that you know this is a mistake and I'm trying to make things easy for you." His eyes looked so sad, Jess felt hurt.

"You have the complete wrong idea, I bumped into him, we caught up…"

"You were hugging Jess."

"As friends. Friends do hug sometimes."

"But not friends who used to date, very recently." Nick replied raising his hands in frustration.

"You're jealous?" Jess asked.

"No, I just… Like I said I've got to go," with that he quickly turned and disappeared into the crowd of people. Jess stood stunned. What on earth had just happened? Things had been going so well. Damn Nick.

An hour later, Nick was sitting at the bar knocking back bottles of Heisler with whisky chasers.

Big Bob appeared behind the bar and noticed Nick for the first time. He walked over to him and took away three empty shot glasses "Nick, it's your night off, why you hanging around the bar? Go home and bump uglies with that cute girl of yours."

"She's not my girl," Nick slurred.

"Okay man, whatever you say," he replied turning away. Behind him Nick heard rapid footsteps and felt an urgent tapping on his shoulder.

"Nick, damn you, what are you doing here," Nick turned on his bar stool coming face to face with a very angry Jessica Day.

"I am drinking a beer or two with my good friend Bob," Nick replied turning to point at the place where Bob had stood moments earlier.

"You left me, on my own, at a party. That is not, not cool!" Nick face wore the expression of a little boy who had been told off by his school teacher. "And you took my car, I was stranded on the other side of town."

Nick began to feel a little guilty for his rash departure after seeing Jess with Dr. Sam. "So how'd you know I'd be here? And how'd you get here?" Nick's eyes were struggling to focus on Jess, she was a blur of blue and brown curls.

"I know you Nick, when you run, you drink," she gestured to the beer in his hand, "and Sam gave me a ride here if you must know."

"Ha," Nick snorted, "Dr. Sam, always saving the day. Saving sick kids and being all doctor like, blah, blah, blah," Nick's voice had taken on a childish, sing songy tone and his head bobbed from side to side as he spoke.

"What is up with you? Do you not trust me? Sam is old news." Jess's tone was slightly raised and the people around them were beginning to notice the argument.

"Trust you Jess? I trust you. But I don't trust me, or him. How can I compare to that?" Nick scowled and stared down into his beer bottle.

"This is ridiculous," Jess cried throwing up her hands in frustration, " We are friends! He has a new girlfriend, that's what we were talking about. I told him about us…" her void trailed off as she sighed and perched herself on the stool next to Nick, placing her purse on the bar.

"You did?" Nick asked.

"Yes I did. First thing I told him. I told him how, how, how happy am I. Was." Jess's face looked so sad and lost that Nick reached out and cupped it with one hand and stroked her cheek with his thumb.

"Was?" he questioned.

"Well, I have no idea what is going on here now. I mean if you are going to run away every time something like this happens-" Nick pulled his stool closer to Jess and placed his free hand on her lap. Drawing her face up towards his he said, "I'm sorry. I'm an idiot. I overreacted. I do trust you, completely. I just did my typical Nick Miller run-away-from-anything-that-might-hurt act." Jess took his had in hers and squeezed it gently. "Look, I'm a little drunk so I'm going to say this once before I think better of it. I'm scared of getting hurt. I feel so much for you, it worries me. This kind of feeling has only ever led to bad things for me. The truth is Jess, I think I love you."

With that, Jess's breath caught in her throat. She felt the bar and the people around them melt away until the only people in the world were her and Nick.


	7. Three Words

**Chapter 7 - and the longest so far! This is becoming a labour of love! Please review if you get the chance, your feedback keeps me motivated! Enjoy x**

Nick pushed his way thought the crowd, searching for her sky blue dress. The people around him danced, laughed, talked; he had to squeeze his way past until he reached the kitchen door. _Only place left,_ he thought. Grabbing the door handle he quickly turned it to the right and pushed inwards, "Jess-" he began. Immediately, his eyes were assaulted by the sight of two figures sat upon the kitchen work top, in mid-embrace. The male figure was tall, wearing an expensive looking shirt with sandy coloured hair. The other figure had her face turned away from him - but he instantly recognised the pretty blue dress. His mind whirled, his heart raced, he felt the sickening knot of dread that lived within his stomach begin to swell and twist. The rush of blood to his head caused his ears to ring loudly as the room began to slowly spin. Startled, the figures broke apart and she turned to face him with flushed cheeks and a surprised expression in her eyes.

"Nick I-" she stopped mid-sentence. His eyes moved to the man sat next to her. _Oh man, _Nick thought, _it's him, Dr. Sam. _Nick's inner sense of inadequacy began to kick into overdrive. _It's him. Mr perfect. Successful. Confident. Good looking. Everything I'm not. _The feeling in his stomach began to increase with every passing millisecond. Finally he managed to speak.

"I've been looking for you..." But his voice trailed off. He didn't know what to do or say. He couldn't get angry with her. How could he blame her? Of course she came running as soon as he came calling again.

"Look who I bumped into, Sam!" Jess's voice took on a slightly strained, high-pitch tone as she pulled her face into an uncomfortable smile and gestured to her left. _She looks guilty_, he thought. Panic began to sweep over Nick, he knew it was over and he needed to be somewhere else. He couldn't look at her face. That face that had become so familiar and cherished, the face he had spent many hours watching as she slept. His eyes began to dart around the room searching for something else to focus on, "Er, yeah, um, I'm just gonna…" He didn't finish his sentence, unable to think. He reached for the handle of the door behind him and quickly exited the room, not waiting for a response from Jess.

_About an hour later_, _at_ _the bar_

"I think I'm in love with you," the words had escaped Nick's lips before his mind had time to process them. The beer and whiskey he had consumed that evening had begun to make his mind fog; loosening his lips and inhibitions. He couldn't believe she had come to find him - he thought it was over. Done. Why was she here? He wasn't worth this kind of effort. He was the guy who you went to when you had no other options. Jess had options. So many. This didn't make sense...

The moment between them was broken by the high pitched tone of Jess's phone ringing. They both shook out of the trance that they had been in, Jess fumbling for her purse which was gently shaking from the vibrations.

"Melissa? What's up? Really? Oh my God ... I'm on my way," Jess quickly cancelled the call on her phone and looked up to meet Nick's earnest gaze. "Sadie's in labour. She's having her baby," her eyes widened in excitement.

"You should go, be there for your friend..." Nick moved back towards the bar and gestured to the new barman for another round. Suddenly, he felt a warm hand grasp his shoulder - he turned to look and saw Jess's blue eyes fixated upon his.

"Come with me," she said.

"Jess, I barely know Sadie..."

"Nick, please. I want to talk to you... Come with me," Jess's voice faded away as her eyes made a silent appeal to Nick. He couldn't say no to her.

The journey to the hospital did not serve to continue their conversation. The alcohol Nick had consumed had decided it would like to make a reappearance. The motion of the car had made it necessary for him to spend most of the ride with his head out of the window. Jess sighed, she needed to finish what they had started, talk about what Nick had said. But, it'd have to wait. The feeling of unfinished business combined with the excitement of the impending arrival created a perfect storm of emotion within her. She felt a little sick and dizzy, but was what was causing it.

Pulling into the hospital parking lot and turning off the engine, she turned to face him as he wound up the window. His face was still a little green looking but most of all she noticed he looked sad. _What is going on in that head. "_Nick," she began, "about what you said earlier-"

"Wait-" Nick interrupted, quickly pulling open his door and vomiting not so silently. _Great,_ she thought, _the night my boyfriend tells me he thinks he is in love he abandons me at a party, gets drunk and then pukes everywhere. _Dejectedly, Jess opened her door and headed round to Nick, "Come on Sicky, we've got a baby to go meet."

Inside the hospital the astringent smell of disinfectant had a sobering effect upon Nick, and combined with the fact that the alcohol he had ingested was now mostly in the parking lot, he began to pull himself back into reality, away from the drunken fog. Walking along the pale mint corridors towards the maternity unit, the words he had spoken to Jess at the bar rang in his ears, _I think I love you. _He silently remonstrated himself, _you idiot Miller, you always do this, move in too fast, make things weird. _A small voice inside of him replied, _but she came back for you and this is different, it's _Jess. Hequickly squashed that thought._ No, I've made a huge mess of this. It's over. She clearly just wanted to end things nicely, because she is a nice person. Unlike you._

The voice was only silenced as they reached the nurse's station and were given instructions on where to go. They walked silently along the corridor to room 12, the only sound the soft clack of her heels. When they arrived, a small group of friends were already in the waiting area outside, including Cece who was clutching a silver balloon on a length of yellow ribbon that read, 'Congratulations Mom & Dad', but the word Dad had been crossed out with a marker and changed to 'Mom'. "Hey, guys!" Cece waved enthusiastically, "Isn't this exciting? I can't believe it's happening!" Her wide smile dropped a little when she saw the smile that Jess was wearing did not extend to her eyes and noticed the fact that Nick looked a little, well, rough.

"Yeah, it's amazing. So what have we missed?" Cece filled in Jess on the happenings at the hospital, Melissa had announced not so long ago that Sadie was almost 10cm dilated so it would not be long at all. At the talk of 'dilation' Nick began to feel a little queasy and took off to find a coffee machine, _hopefully that will sober you up so we can finish our conversation, _Jess thought as she watched him walk away.

Cece followed Jess's gaze as Nick retreated on his search. As soon as he was out of earshot, she pulled Jess around to face her and said, "Spill."

"Spill what?" Jess said, unconvincingly trying to sound unaware of what she was referring to.

"Stop playing around. What happened? Did you guys have a fight or something?"

Jess sighed lightly and replied, "No, not exactly." She clasped her hands together and began to fidget with her nails. "He told me he thinks he loves me."

"Okay, I'm confused, why is that causing all this, whatever this is?"

"I bumped into Sam at the party. Nick saw us together. When we were alone. And we were hugging," her gaze met Cece's and Cece's eyes widened in acknowledgement.

"Oh damn, he saw you? Was something going on?"

"No, no of course not," she swatted the idea down with her hand, "It was a 'nice to see you thing'. But Nick being Nick..."

"Uh-huh," Cece replied, slowly nodding her head.

"So he ran off, left me at the party," Jess pulled an annoyed face, "Went to the bar and began to drink his feelings." She leant forward and rested the side of her face on her hand.

"Okay, so Nick was being an idiot, put two and two together and made six." Jess nodded in response. "So I'm confused, when did he say he loved you?"

"At the bar, when he was drunk. I'd just gone to talk to him, I know he can get weird sometimes and Cece, his face when he walked in on me and Sam..." Jess broke off and briefly buried her face in her hands before straightening up and matching her gaze. "And then he goes and says he thinks he loves me?"

"I will never understand that man. He sure can pick his moments. So, have you talked about it?"

"No, straight after he said it I got a call from Melissa. And on the way here he was sick...'

At that moment Nick reappeared from the direction he left, three steaming cups of coffee in his hands. Jess gave Cece a silent look to keep quiet and Nick re-joined them. They silently drank their coffee and waited.

_Later that night_

"Oh Sadie, she is gorgeous," Jess cooed as she held the tightly wrapped bundle. She looked down at the pink face peeking out from the blanket and her heart melted. She definitely wanted kids someday.

"Thanks," replied Sadie, who was sat up in bed whilst Melissa perched beside her holding her hand, "We think we'll keep her."

"Well I'm in awe," began Cece, "How you got that," she gestured to the baby, "Out of _there..._" She moved her other hand to point towards Sadie.

"Drugs Cece, that's all I'm saying, drugs." Jess smiled and passed the baby over to Cece.

"So when can you leave?" She asked.

"Hopefully in the morning, if I can get some sleep."

"Oh you must be exhausted...I feel so inconsiderate."

"You've waited 6 hours, the least you could do was meet her tonight!" Sadie shot a loving look towards Cece and the baby, "Actually we wanted to ask you both a favour. Would you be her godparents?" Jess and Cece looked at each other in shock. Jess's arm moved quickly to her chest.

"Oh guys, I'd be honoured," replied Cece.

"Me too, that's an amazing gesture. Thank you!" Jess quickly walked to the bed and enveloped them both in a soft hug. "This has been an amazing night. And I think we ought to leave mommy and mommy to get to know their new addition." The two new moms beamed with pure happiness as Cece handed back the baby.

"I'll call you tomorrow, I want to be the first to know when you decide upon a name," Jess said.

"You'll be the first. It's such a bit responsibility. I don't want to be the parent who scars their child with a ridiculous name." Melissa laughed as she spoke and they all waved goodbye to each other as they left the room.

Nick had been quietly watching the scene from the doorway, feeling a little awkward being privy to such a private moment. He had watched with sad eyes as Jess had cradled the new born child. _She looks like a natural, _he thought, _she'll be a great mom. _The knot in his stomach twisted again and he felt a small wave of nausea ride through his body. They still had not had the chance to talk. He felt embarrassed at his earlier declaration. He was torn between wanting to know what she was thinking and the dread of hearing the inevitable from her lips.

Saying goodbye to Cece at the hospital entrance, they started to walk towards the car. Suddenly walking towards them he saw Sam. _Great, _he thought, _as if my night could get any worse. _

"Hey guys, what you doing here?" Sam asked. Jess filled him in on the happy news. "Aw, awesome, I love kids. I'm just here to pick up Lydia."

"Yes Nick," Jess said pointedly, "Lydia, _his girlfriend._" Nick caught his breath. He was seeing someone? So that meant...

"Yeah, she's working night shift. Great to see you guys, congrats on everything. I'm glad it's working out." With a quick wave, he headed towards the rotating doors and left Nick and Jess in silence.

"So..." Nick began.

"So..." Jess echoed.

"I'm sorry for being a jerk," he dug his hands into his pockets and looked at Jess with his head tilted downwards, "I overreacted. I didn't even give you a chance to say anything. I thought that was us done."

"You think so little of me? You think I would cheat on you?" Nick continued to look at her with puppy eyes. "Nick, I'm in this for real, I'm not messing around. You are one of my closest friends. Do you think I would risk that by doing this, this relationship thing with you to throw it away for a fling?" Her voice began to rise as the anger she had earlier bottled away began to rise to the surface.

Nick took a deep breath, "If you had to choose, between him and me - I mean it's not a contest. He's everything I'm not. He could give you everything you need. He's the kinda guy your dad would approve of." He smarted at the memory of her dad's disapproval.

"We'll if my _dad_ was in this relationship then you're probably right. But he's not, _I _am. And I chose _you _Nick. I don't want some perfect, boring, straight and narrow life. I want excitement, passion, craziness, messiness..." Her voice faded away. They were both breathing a little heavier than usual and looked each other in an earnest gaze.

Jess didn't have time to think before Nick enveloped her in a passionate embrace. His arms encircled her waist and picked her slightly off the ground as she clung to his neck. His kisses made her mind fuzzy and she forgot they were in a parking lot at 4am; they were floating together on a cloud, the sun shining, time stopping... His arms loosened a little and he began to cover her face with feathery butterfly kisses, in between each kiss he said breathlessly, "I'm sorry." Jess sank into him, letting him take her body weight. His kisses had a hypnotic effect on her.

"Get a room!" Across the parking lot a drunken voice broke the spell and they pulled apart a little, arms still around each other. They both erupted in peals of laughter.

"Man, I like making up with you," she flashed Nick a wicked smile.

"We'll there's more where that came from," he reciprocated her smile. He took a breath and summoned up some courage, "About what I said at the bar earlier-" his voice trailed off.

"Nick, I know, you were drunk-"

"No, I mean yes. I mean no," he searched for the right words, "I mean I _was _a little drunk but that's not why I said what I said." He looked at her earnestly. "Seeing you with Sam and thinking I was going to lose you made me realise I _can't _lose you. I care about you so much; I want to be with you, see you wake up in the morning, have you be the last face I see before I fall asleep. I want to kiss you, hold you... Make love to you," Jess's heart began to race at Nick's honesty. This was the first time he had _ever_ really talked about his feelings with her, it was a watershed moment. It was also scary as hell. He moved his hands to the sides of her face and stroked her cheek with his thumb, "Jessica, you mean so much to me. I know it's too early to say this but to the hell with it. _I love you_."

Her racing heart skipped a beat as she digested those three powerful words. _He loves me. He LOVES me. _This was serious. How had they got to here? This thing, this connection, this _love _had snuck up on her, took her by surprise. At that moment she realised something. She wanted him just as badly. She didn't _need_ him. He wasn't there to look after her, control her or support her financially. They were equals. Friends with all the rewards.

A look of concentration had came over her face as Nick breathlessly awaited her response. He knew it was far too soon to use the L word, but in what way had their relationship been conventional up to this point? They had broken so many rules already in those few short weeks. "Nick," she began, "I think I'm in love with you too," her voice pitched up towards the end her brow furrowed as her eyes searched his. He could not believe what he was hearing. The feeling of inadequacy in his gut squirmed and he matched her furrowed brow. "Well say something!" She finally demanded.

"I, I..." His voice trailed off. Suddenly, he picketed her up by the waist and spun her around and around until she was dizzy. He stopped and the earth kept spinning. "I love you Jessica Day," he said, saying it as though he were trying something new, "Wow, that feels weird."

"Weird but good," Jessica replied as she pulled his lips towards her own.


	8. Just lucky I guess

**Chapter 8! A bit of filler/smut but I felt it was needed to explore some feelings after last chapter. Next few I plan to pick up the pace somewhat. Please review if you can, feedback keeps me motivated! Thanks x**

***Update - edited for punctuation, grammar and repetition - don't write when tired folks ;)**

Driving back to the loft, the car was silent. Both were tired, it was nearly 4am, and inside their heads they were each reviewing and processing the evening's events.

Nick couldn't believe what had happened. He was still kicking himself for drunkenly telling Jess he loved her, _not exactly romantic_, he thought. Honestly, he was realising he had been falling in love with her for a long time; long before this thing had started between them. _Still it was too early_. Although she had reciprocated, he worried they were moving faster than was wise. _If I could, I would be racing through this at twice the speed._ Nick had been in love before. He had been crazy, head over heels in love. But this was _so _different. The closeness they had developed as friends had deepened the meaning of everything that had happened in the preceding weeks. Still, he was scared this was going to spiral out of control and end up becoming a disaster. But she had said she loved him too. It had been so unexpected and his heart did a little jump every time the memory ran through his mind.

Jessica's mind should have been on the road, but the lack of traffic at this early hour allowed it to wander and consider the evening in silence. She was shocked. Shocked by what Nick had said. Shocked by what she had said. Were they crazy? Was it too early? Or, did almost 2 years of prior friendship mean they could skip a few steps in the relationship game? The answers to these questions evaded her. There was no doubt in her mind that she did love him. It was a fragile, fresh, new love and she hadn't herself realised until that moment in the cold, dreary car park. But it was there: the burning feeling in her stomach when they kissed, the electricity that ran through her when they touched and the way her heart leapt a little when he held her. Even moreso, the way he made her laugh, was always looking out for her and could be so caring, made her a goner. Gently she shook her head, how had it taken her this long to realise?

Inside the loft, they paused in the corridor that connected their rooms. They still hadn't quite coordinated their sleeping arrangements and there was no way they would be sleeping alone tonight. Jess smiled a shy smile; they hadn't really spoken since they had got into the car. "I don't know why I am feeling so nervous all of a sudden," she said, leaning against her bedroom door.

"Thank God it's not just me," Nick replied sounding relieved, "I feel like I'd just sort of got used to this and then we've, well, changed all the rules." Jess bit her bottom lip and looked up towards Nick.

"I feel like I should pretend I'm still mad about earlier, but I'm not. I know you Nick. I know, your - _faults,_" they both winced slightly at this honesty, "And they are part of you and I accept that." She leaned closer to his ear and whispered, "Just don't leave me alone at a party again or I will get you when you least expect it."

"Yes ma'am," he replied and leaned down to give her a soft kiss, one arm wrapping around her waist and the other opening the door behind her. Inside, their kiss continued as they began to remove their clothes, he unzipped her dress, letting it fall to the ground and she unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it away from his body, as she took in the strong muscles of his arms. The early morning air was cool and Jess shivered, "You're cold," he said, gently rubbing her skin with his hands to warm her. But she was unsure whether it was the cold or her anticipation that caused it. Nick led her to the bed and they moved close under the blankets, using their body heat to warm each other.

They turned on their sides to face each other. Her eyes searched his face for some clue as to what he was thinking, "Nick," she began, "What we said earlier, I think we should keep that private, for now." She paused for his reaction. He wasn't sure where this was coming from. Did she regret it? "I meant what I said, I am falling for you, but I don't want people interfering and telling us what we can and can't do…This thing, it's new," she looked at him with pleading eyes. He thought he understood, she was being cautious. The knot of insecurity inside him tightened a little but he tried to force it to relax.

"Okay," he said, "I understand. Other people could be weird about it. We don't need them interfering in our business." She smiled, relieved. "But only on one condition," she raised her eyebrows quizzically, _what did he have up his sleeve? _"I want to make love to you," her breath caught in her throat, she opened her mouth but no words came out. He continued, "So far we've had a lot of sex, a couple of times I think we'd even struggle to call it that," She blushed at the memory of their rough and vigorous activities the night before. "But now, I want to make love to you." The voice he used was deep, slow, confident and oh-so sexy.

Her pupils dilated and she could feel her heart begin to beat heavier in her chest. Nodding, she replied quietly, "I'd be okay with that." This response made him smile and he moved closer to her, bringing their lips together in a slow, gentle kiss. He began to caress her body carefully; as though she were made of glass. Sliding across her skin, his fingers passed tiny jolts of electricity through her, causing her breathing to come in ragged breaths. Dragging her finger nails gently across his back, she began to let go and let herself be swept along.

Silently, he rolled her onto her back, looking her petite figure up and down; he returned his gaze to meet hers and the raw look in his eyes made her shiver once more. The yearning and need for her was clear, but tonight, he was going to take his time, savour this moment. He slipped the straps from her lacy blue bra over her shoulders and began to kiss and trace his fingers along the light marks where they had been. Gently, he slipped one lacy cup down over her breast so it's hard, pink nipple was exposed, before covering it with his warm mouth. He suckled softly, slipping his fingers into the other cup and gently massaging the contents, until she began to let out a soft moan. He pulled the bra down a little until both breasts were exposed, "Beautiful," he whispered and continued his exploration of their soft curves; his gentle touch and kisses felt like heaven upon her skin.

Wrapping her fingers into his hair, she pulled him back up towards her and hooked her right leg around his. She kissed him urgently; with shuddered breath, exploring his mouth with her tongue, as though it were the first time, as though it were the last time. Moving his hands behind her waist, he turned them palm up, pushing her closer to him. Finally he broke away from their kiss, drawing his mouth along her jaw, down the middle of her throat and across the soft, creamy skin of her stomach. At that moment, she began to become acutely aware of the harness in his underwear, pressing against her thigh. _She wanted him. _"Oh, Nick, please…" He looked up at her across her body.

"Patience," he whispered, using every ounce of his own.

His fingers traced the outline of her panties, gently teasing her,before he slipped them cautiously into the lacy material. His thumb began to gently caress her clitoris, she was already damp in anticipation and he had to fight the urge to rush on. Foreplay had not been his forte before, but the way this was driving Jess wild, he was beginning to like it. Pushing her underwear down, his mouth moved lower and took over the work of his thumb; he began to taste her sweetness. Slipping two fingers inside her, he slowly began to move them, twisting them and stroking her sensitive spot. Her soft moans increased with ever stroke and he could feel her coming closer. "Come on baby," he whispered to her. Without warning, she felt herself losing control, tipping over the edge of pleasure.

As she fell back into herself, he removed his underwear and made his way back so they were face to face; quickly retrieved and unraveled a condom. Unclasping her bra, he looked at her flushed cheeks and glowing eyes, feeling amazed that he was allowed to do this. How is it that Jessica Day is allowing me to make love to her? He left the question in his mind, as he asked her, "Are you ready?" She nodded her approval, still unable to speak, "I love you Jess," he said as he slowly entered her.

She could feel every delicious inch of him as he slid gently inside until he could go no further, "How does it feel when I'm inside you?" he asked, gazing into her eyes.

"I feel, I feel," she breathlessly replied, "Complete, whole, filled, agonised -ohhh," she was interrupted as he slowly began to withdraw, so slowly she could sense every feeling in reverse. "God Miller, how did you get so good at this?" she asked.

"Just lucky, I guess," he responded as he resumed their kiss.

Taking his time, he began to increase his speed, pivoting his hips so all parts of her were stimulated. He wrapped one hand in her hair and with the other he grasped her hand within his, moving it above her head. One at a time, her legs wrapped around his waist, urging him deeper and closer; their sweat covered bodies sliding against each other. Slipping his hand under her back, he moved them both onto their sides so their faces were level. Looking into one another's eyes, he began to thrust a little harder, a little faster, "Jessica, you're amazing, I can't believe…"

She stopped him by placing a finger on her lips, "I love you Nick Miller," hearing Jessica say those words took away whatever restraint he had left and his stokes became quicker, more urgent. She rocked her hips to meet his, increasing the power of each motion. "Nick... Nick," she cried and this was his cue. Staring deep into her eyes, he moved into the last stretch, faster, harder until he could see her face begin to contort, feel her body tighten; her eyes squeezed shut then quickly reopened - just as his own release happened. Their gaze continued as the last of their orgasms rode through their bodies and then he slowly rested his head on the pillow next to her.

They remained intertwined for a few minutes before he started to withdraw. She put a hand on his arm, "Stop," she began, "I want to feel close to you," her blue eyes were clear and honest, so he wrapped his arms around her and held her close, hearts beating together. "That was, that was, incredible Nick." He placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Every time with you is incredible Jess," and gradually they drifted off, entwined in each other's arms.

They awoke a few hours later as the early morning sun began to fill Jessica's room with warm, yellow light. Gently she yawned and stretched her arms, still stiff from the hours of waiting at the hospital.

"Good morning gorgeous," Nick smiled, kissing her lightly on the lips.

"Good morning to you to," she replied with a giggle, before adding, "That was some night!"

"Indeed it was. Come here," he said pulling her close to him in a tight embrace. She tried to fight him.

"Morning breath!" she screamed.

"Ah, I've smelt much worse," he countered before pulling her into a kiss. After breaking free she sat up, holding the covers to retain her modesty. "Hey, nothing under there I haven't seen before," he pointed out.

"Ha ha, Miller, like I've told you, I'm a little old-fashioned."

"I'm not sure what we did last night was old fashioned," he replied, fixing her with a knowing expression that made her cheeks redden. In response she dived under the covers and tried to tickle him, attacking the sensitive spot behind his knees.

"Truce, truce," he yelled. They settled back down next to each other. "Jess," Nick began, "Can I ask you a question?" She swallowed, unsure of what this was about.

"Okay…"

He took one of her hands in his, rubbing his thumb across her palm, "Would you be my date for Jamie's wedding? It's next month. I've been meaning to ask you for a few days, I was just a little nervous."

She felt relieved and her lips curled into a sweet smile, "I'd be honoured, you know I love weddings." Yes, yes he did.

"Great, it's just, you know, family wedding, I'm one of the groomsmen… I guess it means it's serious if you come to this."

"Yeah, I guess it does," she echoed, her mind filing with possibilities.

_Coming up - Another visit to Chicago - what could possibly go wrong? Also, what's been happening with Schmidt, Cece and Elizabeth!_

**Are you enjoying the story? Where would you like it to go? *Please* review - only takes a minute!**


	9. Nothing to wear

**So this was going to be the first part of the Chicago story, but I got a bit distracted so I've thrown in a short character development chapter. As ever, please review/comment if you like it. Reviews motivate me to keep going! x**

_The ceremony room was filling up quickly with guests, a low hubbub of voices filled the air and the scent of anticipation hung silently among them. The groom nervously rubbed his hands together, mentally rehearsing his vows. Suddenly, the room began to hush as the sharp tones of the piano began to play the first notes of the wedding march. In unison, the guests turned to the back of the room, craning for a view of the bride as she made her entrance. Swallowing deeply, he looked up and beheld her. Swathed in a vision of lace, with a fingertip view barely covering her riotous curls, he was stunned. His heart beat faster. Slowly, she raised her head and a beaming smile filled her face. Jess looked more beautiful than he had ever seen her before…_

"Woah," Nick shot up in bed as he awoke from his dream in shock. His eyes darted around the room as he struggled to process what he had just seen.

"Y'okay?" asked Jess sleepily, reaching out a hand to pat his arm with.

"Uh, yeah, just a dream," he replied, sinking back under the bedcovers.

"A nightmare?"

"No, uh, just a surprise. You go back to sleep, sorry I woke you," he leant over and kissed her forehead and she curled back into her sleeping position. Composing himself, he tried to understand the meaning in the dream. _Just a dream, meant nothing, _said one part of him. His other side countered, _Jess is always talking about how dreams have meanings_. So what was the meaning? _No, it's just because we are leaving for the wedding in a couple of days and she was sleeping beside you…_ His other side snapped back, _Oh yeah? So why was she the bride and you THE GROOM. _His mind spun with arguments between the two halves until he was exhausted. Then, in defeat, he had to admit the real reason. _You love Jess and you want to marry her one day. Crap, _he thought, _I'm so in over my head._

* * *

The mall was busy with shoppers and Jess and Cece made their way through the crowds. Jess mentally kicked herself for not buying a dress earlier. Every one she had tried on so far she had found fault with, too long, too short, too bright, not me. The problem was she was looking for perfection. She desperately wanted to make a good second impression on Nick's family.

As they got close to her favourite store, Ramona's, Jess cried, "I can't believe it is the day before we leave and I have nothing to wear!"

"Jess, it's not like you would be naked if you don't find something, you have a closet full of dresses. Not that I think Nick would mind if you were naked," She looked at Jess and flashed her a wicked smile, "What's the deal anyway? You love shopping. You'd usually have bought at least 5 options by now."

"I don't know," she replied as they walked through the entrance to the store, "I wasn't sure, kept changing my mind. I need a second opinion on this or being naked may become an option."

Searching through the rails, Jess was preoccupied as Cece chatted away about the date she had been on last night. Jess was pleased that Cece was starting to move on after her disastrous almost-wedding. She had been crushed when Schmidt had chosen to stay with Elizabeth, although she had tried to hide it, Jess knew. That said Jess wasn't sure everything was over between the two. Schmidt seemed awfully interested any time she mentioned Cece's name and Cece seemed to take an equal amount of interest in his activities, although she had banned Jess from using his name in her presence.

"All in all, I'd give it a 6. We're going to go out next Friday night, he's taking me to Beso," Cece added another dress to the growing pile draped over her arm.

"Oh, that's where Nick and I had our, well, our kinda first date," she pulled a twisted smile as she held up two red dresses, trying to decide between them, "Which?" she asked.

"Both," replied Cece, "I'm just so happy to be out dating again."

"I'm pleased too, glad you're over Sch-"

"Stop, don't say his name. I'm moving on." Cece faced Jess with a stern expression.

"Okay," Jess laughed, "Moving on. Right."

The carpeted floor of the dressing room was strewn with a multitude of colourful dresses. Silks, taffetas, satins of all shades of the rainbows mixed together, the pile growing larger with every rejection.

"It looks like a unicorn threw up in here," Cece commented as she returned with 3 more dresses to try. Jess, exhausted, slumped to the floor. For an hour now she had been trying on dresses and she was hot, irritated and dejected.

"I'm beginning to lose my will to live. Nothing is right," She threw her hands up in desperation.

"Hey, calm down. You've looked amazing in every one of those dresses. I don't understand why you are finding this so hard."

"It's just," Jess began, leaning against the wooden wall of the cubicle, "It's just this is a big deal Cece. I've only met his family once and that was under completely different circumstances. I really want to make a good impression, it's important that they like me." She gave Cece a large eyed look through her bangs.

"How could you not make a good impression? You're the friendliest, nicest person I know." This made Jess smile and she relaxed her head backwards.

"Thanks Cece. Can I tell you something without any judgement?"

"You're pregnant?" Cece instantly replied, a little too loudly.

"No," Jess whispered loudly, "Nothing like that," Though a little smile began to curl at her lips as she thought of a possible Miller-Day baby. "We've said it. The L word."

"Really? That's great Jess, I thought you had had some kind of glow about you recently," Jess blushed.

"And, well, I think this could be serious. Like end game serious."

"You want to marry him?" Cece asked, slightly incredulously.

"Well not right this minute!" Jess shot back, slightly annoyed at Cece's tone, "But this is the first time I have felt it could be since Spencer. We've only been dating a couple of months, but I have this feeling like it could work." She gave Cece a hopeful look, "And I'm nervous and anxious and excited about it all and I just want to find the perfect dress..." Cece shrank down and sat beside her friend. She hadn't quite realised the depths of Jess's feelings for her roommate until this moment. She knew they really liked each other, but talk of love and marriage was news.

"Jess, I'm sorry for being rude. I hadn't realised it was this serious," she took Jess's hand and gave it a squeeze, "I think I may have found just the dress for you." With that she stood up and walked over to the hook where she had hung the dresses she had just found. From the back she withdrew a garment of the most beautiful shade of cornflower blue that Jess had ever seen. It was silk taffeta; off the shoulder with little cap sleeves and a full 50's style skirt. Simple, elegant. Just Jess's style.

Jess eagerly snatched the dress and quickly pulled it on. _How had I missed this before?_ She wondered. It fit her gentle curves perfectly and the colour matched her eyes, highlighting their unusual shade. _He will love this._ She thought. _He loves me in blue._ "This is it," she exclaimed, beaming at Cece.

"Finally," Cece replied, throwing up her hands in relief.

"Now," Jess began, looking herself up and down in the mirror, "Shoes." And with that Cece groaned. It was going to be a long afternoon.

* * *

The next morning Jess was sitting on her case, trying to close it, when Winston appeared in her doorway. "You do realise you are only going for 3 days Jess."

"Very funny Winston, help me please," together they worked to shut the case. Winston laid his body on top as she pushed in the little bits of fabric that stuck out back into the suitcase. Finally she was able the flick the last lock on her purple Samsonite into place and they gave each other a high five.

"You ready Nick?" Jess called as she picked up her carry on. Winston wheeled her bag towards the loft entrance, "I'm gonna put this in the car, see you two down there," he called as he exited.

Jess sauntered across the hall and slowly pushed open Nick's door and watched as he casually threw in an assorted array of t-shirts, shirts, socks and underpants into his battered duffle bag. "Hey, if you're not careful there you might actually get a few things that match in that bag," Jess said, walking up and wrapping her arms around him. He turned to face her and greeted her with a warm smile.

"You discovered my cunning plan!" he began, reciprocating her embrace, "I'm getting a tux for the wedding so I don't need to worry about what I pack."

"A tux? Really Miller, I look forward to that sight," she cheekily pinched his backside and gave him a sly wink.

"Hey, missy, calm that down, we got a plane to catch," he turned to close the zip on his bag and picked it up. "Let's get going, Winston might get too into the 'Wicked' soundtrack if we leave him alone for too long and I can't take an hour of him singing in LA traffic."

"Agreed," she replied, "Let's do this!"

"Yeah, lets," he echoed. They both headed towards the apartment door, bubbling with excitement and anticipation.


	10. Chicago, Part 1 (aka Shhh)

**As always, I massively appreciate feedback. Every chapter takes around 2 hours to write (this one took almost 4!) so knowing people are enjoying this is a major motivating factor!**

The plane was almost full when they finally boarded; when they had arrived at the check in desk Nick had been unable to find his ID. After a frantic search through his bag they had found the sandwich bag that housed it scrunched in the back pocket of his spare pair of jeans. _Next chance I get, I am buying that man a wallet, _Jess thought as they pushed their way through the aisle towards their seats. She had given the window seat to Nick – he told her he got a little travel sick if he wasn't next to a window. Jess was going to explain that those travel sickness rules don't apply to flying, but he'd looked at her with big puppy eyes and she'd decided not to correct him.

As they settled, their seat mate joined them –an older lady who smelled strongly of lavender and fell promptly asleep as soon as she had fastened her seatbelt. Soon the last few passengers had boarded and the plane began to accelerate down the runway, pushing Jess back into her seat. She felt Nick's hand grasp hers tightly as they slowly began to lift off the tarmac. Her heart leapt into her throat a little- this part always made her a little scared, but she soon relaxed as they began to gently ascend into the sunny blue California sky. Nick pulled her hand to his and kissed it. He looked tired. Last night he had worked a long shift and he couldn't have had more than 4 hours sleep. "Take a nap Nick, you look exhausted," Nick smiled in reply; he rested his head against the fuselage around the window and within minutes he was fast asleep.

Carefully Jess disentangled her fingers from Nick's and watched his hand sink back into his lap. She reached into the large orange purse she had stowed under the seat in front of her and pulled out a ball of green yarn attached to an almost finished scarf and two knitting needles. She really hoped Bonnie would like it. Her fingers began to work and the soft clack of the needles filled the silence around her. She heard Nick's soft regular breathing and turned her head to look at him.

His face was turned partially away from her and she rested her head against the seat back as she observed him. Nick's hair was mussed up and his face was covered in a smattering of 2 day old stubble. She loved the way this felt on her skin when he kissed her, loved the feel of it as he moved across her body, _like last night_. She felt a flush of heat as she remembered the quick, frantic sex they had when he had returned from the bar and slipped into her bed. The plaid shirt he was wearing was a little rumpled and clung to his arms, _the arms that had held me up against the wall last night as we…Stop!_ Jess told herself. He had this strange effect on her. Since this thing had started she had never stopped wanting him, every day, all the time they were together. She'd never felt anything like this before. The attraction between them was magnetic; they gravitated towards each other, found themselves touching even without realising it. And when they were alone… She took a breath as her eyes lingered on his strong jaw and soft lips. But it wasn't just physical, there was more; a chemistry, a connection, like nothing she had ever felt. Shaking her head she returned to her task whilst she let her mind wander and daydream with possibilities of what might come next for them.

Arriving at O'Hare, Jess had been surprised at how warm the air had felt as they waited for the cab. The last time she was in the city it had been so cold. She quickly removed her cardigan as Nick helped the cabbie load their bags into the cab before they climbed into the car. "You're very quiet," Nick said, placing his hand on top of hers where it rested on the seat between them and rubbing his thumb over her knuckles.

"Hmm?" she replied absentmindedly. He smiled at her.

"I said you're very quiet. That is not like you."

"Sorry, just thinking," she sighed.

"Anything I need to worry about?" he asked, concerned.

"No… I'm just nervous I guess," she pulled her lips into a small smile and bunched her shoulders together.

"C'mere," he said reaching his arm around her shoulder and pulling him towards her before placing a warm kiss on her head, "You have nothing to be nervous about."

"You mom scares me a little Nick," Jess replied pulled herself close to his body and breathing in his warm, musky scent.

"My mom loves you Jess. I know you didn't get off to the best start but she thinks you're great. She was really happy when I said you were coming."

"Really?" she asked looking up at him quizzically.

"Yes really," he said, laughing a little as he stole a quick kiss. Jess relaxed a little and laid her head into Nick's body.

Nick paid the cabbie as Jess psyched herself up for meeting Bonnie for only the second time. Not as the weird roommate she didn't know, but as her son's girlfriend. She gulped down her fears as Nick returned to her side and picked up the bags, "C'mon," he urged, taking Jess's hand in his and giving it a squeeze before leading her towards the house.

As they approached the door it suddenly swung open and they were confronted with the beaming face of Nick's mom. Without pausing she launched herself at Nick and grabbed him in a bear hug, "Nicky! I've missed you!" without missing a breath, she grabbed Jess and bundled her into the hug, "And you've finally brought home a girl! A nice one!" The hug caught Jess by surprise and knocked the air out of her lungs – this woman had surprising strength.

"Hey Bonnie, great to see you," Jess said nervously as the hug ended and the feeling returned to her arms. Reaching into her purse, "I, er, brought you a gift," she handed over the finished scarf to Bonnie whose eyes immediately lit up. Jess felt a little silly – the temperature was in the 90s, not exactly woollens weather. But Bonnie seemed thrilled.

"Oh honey, it's lovely, thank you, my favourite colour," and proceeded to wrap it around her neck over her floral cotton dress.

Entering the house Jess expected the see the same manic atmosphere that had pervaded during their last visit, but the air inside was quiet and still. "Mom, where is everyone?" Nick asked as he closed the door behind him.

"Your brother and cousins are out running last minute errands, Nana is down at the seniors centre and no one else has arrived yet." Bonnie smiled as Nick and Jess stood together in the hallway, "You guys make the cutest couple! I can't wait to show you off! Magda is always boasting that all her sons are married and-"

"Woah, mom," Nick interrupted, "Let's not scare Jess with stories of your crazy sister just yet. Actually, we need to freshen up, long flight. Where is Jess sleeping?" Nick picked up Jess's purple case.

"Well, we're short of space and I'm not totally behind the times, so I know you two are probably already-"

"Mom!" Nick cut her off as Jess blushed deeply.

"What I'm trying to say is would you mind sharing? I've laid out two towels already in your old room." She gave them both a little smile. "Anyway, I have to get back to the stove, dinners in an hour, be down on time, everyone should be back by them." She walked over to Jess and placed her hands on her arms, "They all can't wait to see you," and gave Jess a kiss on the cheek.

"Alright Ma, let my girlfriend go so she can unpack," Bonnie released Jess but continued her wide smile as the two made their way up the creaking wooden staircase. On the landing, Jess stopped, turning around and placing a hand on Nick's chest.

"Do you realise that's the first time you've called me your girlfriend in public?" she smiled and looked at him with glowing eyes.

"Really? Well I guess it is," he replied, giving her a small kiss on the forehead before moving in front of her and pushing the door open on his old room.

Inside the room felt musty and stale, not having been occupied since his father's funeral. The floor was covered in a thick green carpet, and in the corner was a small bed, neatly made up with blue linens. Nick placed their bags on the floor and then headed to open up the two wooden sash windows that looked out over the large yard to the rear of the house. As he was doing this, Jess laid her purse down and began to survey the contents of the shelves that lined one wall of the small room. They were littered with childhood memories. There was a picture of Nick and Winston riding bikes, they looked about 8. There were ribbons stating, "Science fair, 2nd place" and "Maths student of the year, 1995". A pile of concert stubs that looked like they were from his college days lay in one corner, along with a photograph of Nick, Winston and Schmidt in their graduation robes. Jess picked up the frame and studied the contents. Nick's smile was optimistic and confident, just starting out in life. It was at this moment that Jess suddenly realised how little she knew about this man. Besides the brief snippets she had garnered in the past two years, she actually knew very little of his life before she had entered it.

Walking over to the bed, she sat down and placed the picture on the bed next to her. Nick had busied himself emptying the contents of his bag onto the floor and was occupied tossing items into the dresser that was located under the shelves Jessica had been perusing. As she watched him push the last items in and close the drawer, she spoke, "Hey Nick, why did you drop out of law school? You've never actually talked about that." Nick sighed and turned to face her. His face held a serious expression.

"I don't like to talk about it, it's in the past," he said shrugging his shoulders.

"I know, but I've realised I know so little about your past, what made you you," She gave him a warm smile as he sank to the floor and crossed his legs.

"Well, it's not that interesting story I guess, but I'd have to start before I even when to college," he leant back on his arms as he continued, "I was always the responsible one. Dad was always disappearing with his crazy schemes and mom, well, she's great but she needs help. So as I was the oldest I took charge, looking after Jamie, doing things round the house, helping mom with bills – I got my first job when I was 14 delivering newspapers and by the time I was graduating high school I had 3 part time jobs, to help out." He took a deep breath before continuing, "Plus, I was working late ever night. I knew to really change things I needed a job, a real job and for that I needed to get a scholarship. So I worked my ass off and got a full scholarship for prelaw at UCLA."

"Wow, that's incredible, I had no idea…"

"That I was academic?" he finished and Jess blushed, ashamed of her assumptions, "Well it was a lot of work, A LOT. Then I got to college and suddenly it was like a whole load of pressure had been released. The responsibilities I'd had at home seemed so far away and I started to relax. I started skipping classes, having a few too many beers and other substances… ," He looked up at Jess, "I just about managed to keep my GPA up to graduate and I got accepted into Law School but I felt, so, lost." At this point, Jess raised herself up off the bed and slid down to sit on the floor. "I went through the motions for the first couple of years, I wanted to make my mom proud I guess. But I didn't really know why I was doing it. Then I got to my second last semester and I just, I just quit." Nick was playing with his hands now, rubbing his thumb against the palm of the other. Jess had noticed he did this when he was nervous.

"So, you just left?" she asked.

"Yep, wrote a letter to the dean, cleaned out my dorm room and moved in with Schmidt. I got a job at the bar while I weighed up my options and then I met Caroline a couple of months later. And here I am now, 5 years later and not much has changed."

"What made you do it though?"

"To be honest Jess, I've asked myself that many times when I am cleaning out the beer lines at work or mopping up a drunk's vomit," Jess let out a small giggle, "But I really don't know. I guess I realised that you should do things in life for yourself, not for other people. I thought I'd find some great idea or career if I gave myself the chance. So that part didn't exactly work out," Jess moved over to his side and draped her arms around his neck.

"You're right Nick, you shouldn't do things for other people. I guess it sucks you haven't found your way yet, but you will. I believe in you," looking down at her, Nick felt incredibly lucky. Most girls would run a mile from a law school dropout bartender, surviving on tips, but she saw him differently. She saw his potential not his failures and in turn that made him think that perhaps, one day soon, his life could be different.

"I don't deserve you," he replied.

"Yeah ya do," She nodded in response.

"No, I don't."

"Miller, don't argue with me or-" and with that she launched at him, attacking the sensitive parts of his body that she had discovered. Nick hated being tickled, she had learned that a month or so ago when they had got into a playful argument over Jess's attempt to brighten his room with a few feminine touches. The scented candles and vase of flowers had resulted in a full on wrestling match which Jess decisively won by tickling him into submission.

"Stop, Jess, argh," Nick wailed and his arms flailed wildly as his body responded. He tried to grab her and push her away but she was quick and stronger than she looked. "Please, Jess, don't. STOP!" Jess jumped at Nick's outburst and stared at him. "You're really turning me on," he continued, much quieter. Jess's eyes flicked downwards and she saw the unmistakable bulge in his jeans. She pursed her lips cheekily and flashed him a wicked grin. "No," he said, aware of what she had in mind, "My mom…" his voice wandered of as Jess moved in front of him and began to unbuckle his brown leather belt.

"Haven't you ever done it in your room when you parents are home?" she asked in a low, gravelly voice.

"Actually, no. And anyway we can't…" Jess's eyebrows rose at the confession. She had lost her virginity pretty late but even she had experience the fun of trying to keep quiet so mom and dad don't catch you in the act.

"Miller, you have missed out. And we are," she stated in a no nonsense voice and with that she quickly pushed forward and pressed her lips against his whilst she continued to unbutton his jeans. She wordlessly slipped her hands under his shirt and swirled her fingers in the sprinkling of hair on his chest, "Mmmm," she moaned, moving so she was sitting in his lap. Finally giving up, he wrapped his arms around her and pressed his body against hers. She could feel him against her crotch and began to gently rock her hips against the hardness.

Nick's fingers were tangled in her hair, his kisses had moved lower and he has attending to the visible cleavage of her sundress as she dug her nails into the warm skin of his back. Without a word he placed his hands under her thighs and lifted her onto the edge of the bed. She let out a brief, 'Oh' in surprise; she found it incredibly sexy when he took charge. Wresting his jeans to the floor, he leaned across her and continued his caresses, the feel of her body increasing his need to be inside her with every passing second. He moved a hand lower and lifted her skirt up, running his fingers over her smooth thighs. She was wearing white cotton underwear, so innocent looking. Before he had a chance to do anything else, her hands had started to push them down over her legs unveiling a much less innocent sight. He moved to start lifting off her dress and she stopped his hand and shook her head, "No time, don't want mom to catch us," she whispered. She was full of surprises. Instead, he moved to his own underwear and in a second it was on the floor. Jess looked up, eyeing him like a naughty schoolgirl. She licked her lips and continued, "Come on baby, and remember, you gotta be quiet." He did not need asking twice and after quickly locating a condom, he moved back over to her.

Lying over her body, which was still perched on the edge of the bed, he supported himself on his forearms as he looked directly into her eyes. As he started to move inside her, her mouth formed a large O, her eyes widened and she made a sharp intake of breath. Slowly he began to rock his hips, as she reached up and balled her fists in the material of his shirt, pulling him closer, and the skirt of her dress bunched around her waist exposing her lower half. Nick used this as a chance to run his hands up and down her legs, restraining a groan of pleasure as he did so. He hadn't realised that semi clothed sex could be so, _hot._ Her rhythmic breath blew warm gusts across his neck that burned and excited him; he had to fight the urge to speed up instantly. Jess had no such qualms and began to push her hips up against his with increasing urgency, until he felt his mind begin to swim. Balling his fists, he desperately tried to quell his desire to shout out her name; the look of concentration on his face made Jess's mouth twist into a crooked smile, as if she found his efforts to stay in control funny. _If that's how she wants it_, he thought and he quickly pulled out of her, causing her to audibly gasp. "Remember, be quiet," he warned quietly as he flipped her swiftly onto her front and once again raised the cotton material of her dress exposing the soft skin of her behind. He circled his hands over the creamy skin once, before, without warning, re-entering and continuing his thrusts. She noticeable tensed up at this unexpected happening. As he continued, he could hear her panting, "Shhh," he reminded her. He pulled her hips up higher to meet his as he moved deeper, the small noises she was making as she tried to remain quiet turning him on more than ever. The ageing springs of the mattress began to squeak with the motion, so Jess moved her feet onto the floor and lifted her body weight onto her hands to silence it. Wrapping one hand once again in her hair, he used the other to take a firm hold of her hip, urging into into a rapid rhythm. After what felt like an eternity to her, finally, he let himself go, moving quicker and faster, pivoting his hips, until he felt near the point of no return. He moved his hand down so he could touch her, "Come with me," he whispered in her ear, causing her to feel wave of burning desire sweep over her body. All at once, the moment was upon them; Jess pushed back against him as ground into her.

"Oh God," she moaned into the sheets, trying to remain quiet, and he felt her quiver in satisfaction. Feeling her pleasure pushed him over the edge and he jerked and shuddered as a powerful orgasm pounded through his body, she straightened up at this moment and grabbed her body, encircling her in a tight embrace, pulling her towards him. At last, as he folded over her, a whispered series of expletives left his lips that made Jess smile. After a moments silence, he slipped back down to sit on the floor as she slowly turned over and pushed down her dress to cover her modesty. They both continued to breathe heavily as they locked eyes, large smiles slowly growing on their faces. "So," she began, "You can tick that off your bucket list," this made him laugh. How she could switch from sexy to funny in an instant was one of the things he loved about her. She bent down and picked up his pants, "Come on, we're going to be late for dinner," standing up, she smoothed down her dress and walked towards the door.

Buttoning up the jeans he gestured to her discarded underwear, "Aren't you..?" he let his voice trailed off as she shrugged.

"Nah, I think it will make dinner much more interesting if I don't," and with that she turned the handle of the door and stepped into the hall. Nick shook his head and followed her, tucking in his shirt as he went, _Man, _he thought, _what woman._


	11. The making of Nick Miller

**This was heavy going to write! Please review if you enjoy this, I have big plans for the story but need the motivation to keep going!**

The dinner table heaved with the weight of large platters of chicken and bowls of vegetables, around the table were crowded an assortment of chairs and stools, as a table designed to hold 8 was currently providing accommodation for at least twice that number. Nick and Jess were squeezed together at one of the shorter ends, Jess sandwiched in between Nick and Jamie's fiancée, Deann, who she had learned had a liking for strong perfume and an ability to drink wine like it was water.

Jess was unusually quiet, it's not that she felt shy or overwhelmed; she was drinking in the atmosphere, learning what made the Millers tick. The room was piping hot and Jess felt her cheeks flush and along with the giddy rush of the wine she had consumed, she felt relaxed and contemplative. She watched as Bonny fussed over everyone; Nick's mom seemed especially thrilled with his presence. From what she had gathered, Nick had very rarely made the trek home to Chicago and his mom wanted to relish every moment of this trip. She was always checking to see if he had enough food, if he needed a drink, asking if he was tired… the list of fuss was endless, but for once Nick did not complain that someone was taking care of him. He seemed to know this was what his mother needed to do. She had already lost one man of the family; she wanted to tightly hold onto those that were left.

Nick's brother Jamie seemed so completely different from Nick in personality, she was struggling to reconcile the fact that they were related. Sure, they looked a bit alike and had similar voices but that was where the similarity ended. Jamie had spent the past hour at the dinner table in a seemingly never ending argument with their cousin Bobby. Jess wasn't overly sure on the subject but it seemed to be something to do with whether tomatoes were a vegetable or a fruit and neither seemed to be backing down. Jamie seemed very immature, although he was only a few years younger than his brother. He made Nick seem wise and mature by comparison. Bobby, for his part, seemed exceptionally competitive and looking to get the edge over his cousins at all times. He was constantly picking at Nick: pointing out that his bartending job paid less than half of his job at the TSA, belittling him for not finishing law school (though Deann had rightly pointed out that Bobby had not even attended regular college). Actually, for all his career faults, Nick seemed to be the most educated and grounded member of his family. Jess's mind began to consider what he could have achieved if he hadn't, well, given up.

For his part, Nick seemed to be soaking up the feeling of being home. Although he rarely came back, he easily sank back into the routine of the Miller household. He knew his mom enjoyed his presence and he let her try and take care of him, but he was also aware of how needy she was. Especially now Jamie was getting married, Nick knew she was going to be alone in that big house with all her boys gone. This grated against Nick and he felt his long standing tie to his mother pull at him; all he ever wanted was for her to be happy. His father never really achieved that. Although he knew his mother loved Walt, Nick was acutely aware he never treated her right and this made his heart ache. The bond between mother and son was strong despite the years of physical distance and he only ever wanted to make her smile and be happy.

"So, Nick, when you gonna make an honest woman of your little lady?" Bobby asked, practically leaning over the table and leering at Jess in her cotton sundress.

"Bob…" began Nick

"Oh hush," said Bonnie, swatting Bobby away with her hand as she made another circuit of the table with a piping hot pot of gravy, "They only just started dating!"

"Well, y'know," he began, raising his eyebrows, "I thought somethin' was going on at Walt's-"

An audible intake of breath spread across the table and all eyes turned to Bobby as the dinner guests anticipated his next words. An awkward silence spread across the table. Jess turned to look at Bonnie and saw the colour begin to drain slowly from her face. The quiet permeated the room, so you could hear a pin drop. Instinctively, Jess rose from the plastic garden chair that was her seat and walked around to Bonnie who stood a few feet away. "Hey Bonnie, can I help with the dessert?" Bonnie looked momentarily confused before her eyes moved to meet Jess's and a broad smile spread across her face.

"Oh honey, that'd be lovely!" she wrapped and arm around Jess in a side hug and led her towards the kitchen door. Nick smiled as he watched the scene. Jess's big heart never failed to amaze him. Anytime she saw someone in a sad situation, she was the one to jump in and be their cheerleader.

Nick was still smiling, thinking of Jess and his mom carving up chocolate cake in the kitchen, when Jamie swooped down and rested himself on Jess's vacant chair. "Soo, bro," he smiled at Nick and pulled one of Nick's hands into his fist before enveloping him into a bear hug and patting him on the back. "You're girl, she's, pretty cool."

"Thanks bro, but I think you got the market cornered amazing women this weekend," with that Nick lifted up his bottle of beer and pointed his index finger at Deana how sat on the other side of Jamie, engrossed in an in depth conversation about cuticle care with her maid of honour Marcie.

"Yeah, I'm a lucky son of a bitch right? She couldn't even wait to plan the wedding. I had to make her hold off until at least it got a bit warmer, I knew Ma would want the reception at the house," Jamie smiled as he looked at his bride to be and Nick felt a twinge of jealousy at the certainty that his little brothers life now held. "Hey," Jamie began, "You guys coming to Magoo's? Going to meet up with all my buddies, have my last few drinks as a free man…"

"Ah, dude, I can't leave Jess…."

"The girls are coming too! It's like a joint bachelor/bachelorette party. Deann didn't like the idea of us guys going to some strip club somewhere," Jamie sounded so excited that Nick conceded.

"Alright, I'll just run it by Jess," Jamie grabbed Nick by both arms and shook him roughly.

"Yeah! Awesome! Beeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrr!" and with that he downed the brown bottle he had in his hand and wandered off to find Bobby and continue their argument. Nick shook his head. He really did wonder how they were related at times.

* * *

Walking into Magoo's Jess felt a rush of self-consciousness flood through her body. It was a strange feeling coming back to your boyfriend's home town and seeing his old haunts. She could feel eyes upon her like powerful lasers, making her neck feel hot. Who was that? Is she with Nick? Although Nick came home only once a year or so, he seemed to make his way around the bar with ease, shaking hands and giving small hugs to the people as he went and introducing them to Jess who gave a smile and a firm handshake in return. As a teacher Jess was used to presenting herself to large groups and being confident and gregarious, but today she felt small, uncertain and a little confused. Normally she was assertive in any situation. What was the problem? She couldn't put her finger on it and a small cloud of confusion began to form over her mind as they headed to the sticky wooden bar where Nick ordered her a large glass of pink wine.

As Jess waited for her drink, she turned her back to the service area and surveyed the sight before her. The bar was dark and worn looking. It wasn't dirty, but it had certainly seen better days. All around there were groups of people, chatting, drinking beers and dancing to the music from the jukebox in the corner. At one side of the bar there was a pool table which was currently being used for what looked like an intense game of beer pong. Loud, 'oohs' and 'ahhs' arose from that area at frequent intervals. Suddenly, she felt an arm envelope her and a glass of cool wine was placed in her right hand. She smiled in surprise and looked up to see Nick beaming at her. She sighed in relief. "You okay? He asked, sounding concerned, "I know this could be a little intimidating…"

"No, it's great. I'm getting an insight into the origins of Nick Miller," she gave him a lopsided smile and squeezed his side in response.

"Oh, well please don't judge me based on a bar… This was the hangout in high school but like I said, 3 jobs, I didn't spend a great deal of time here," Jess smiled at his self-conscious speech and pulled his lips towards her in a small kiss.

XXXXXX

Thirty minutes later the two wedding parties had split into the bachelorette and bachelor parties. The ladies had made claim on the area around the juke box and had laid out a line of quarters that guaranteed an evening of 80's soft rock combined with the odd power ballad and a little country. The maid of honour, Marcie, seemed particularly taken with Jess. She was it seemed, a hair stylist and seemed enchanted with Jess's hair and had spent the last 10 minutes trying to convince her to perm it.

"Seriously," Marcie slurred, "A few well-placed rollers and 'bam' huge volume. You hair can take it." She raked her hands through Jess's hair, fluffling up the sides and snagging the ends as she did so, causing Jess to flinch.

"I'll really think about it, but I don't want to make any rush decisions," Jess replied, trying to subtly move out of the reach of Marcie's fingers.

"Well I'm doing the wedding hair, so if you change your mind…" Jess nodded and smiled and turned away as Marcie's attention returned to the bride to be. Jess was sat at the end of a table of 10 women who were talking in quick, Chicago accents. Their names had all melded into one, Stacey, Annie, Tracey… So Jess had taken to nodding and smiling at any questions and avoiding the need for replying with a specific name.

"So, how do you know our Nicky?" asked a red faced brunette on the opposite side of the table. _Tracey? _ Jess thought.

"Ah, well," Jess began, taking a sip of wine, "We're actually roommates."

"Oooohhhh," a chorus rang out amongst the voices around her.

"You two share a place?" continued Tracey (?).

"Well, actually it's me and 3 guys," Jess replied.

"Oh, honey! 3 guys? How do you find the time?" and the table erupted in laughter. Jess tried to expain-

"No, wait you guys-" but then, her vision was assaulted by an unexpected scene. Across the bar she could see Nick being greeted by a very attractive, very leggy blonde who gave him a (too long in Jess's opinion) hug, before proceeding to sit on the arm of his lounge chair as she laughed and joked with him, tossing her hair back in a totally unnecessary display of femininity (in Jess's opinion). She felt her face twist into a small frown as she watched the scene unfold, perplexed. _Who was that?_

Determined to find out, she turned her attention back to Marcie, "Hey Marcie, you see that girl over there? Do you know her? I love her hair!"

At the mention of hair Marcie switched her attention back to Jess. She smiled, seemingly happy that her skills were being valued. Jess made a small gesture in the direction of Nick. "Oh, that's Alison Daniels, soooo full of herself. Thinks she hit the big time working on the Mac counter in SEARS. But honey, you don't wanna go blonde. Your hair will be like straw." She gave Jess a concerned look as she continued to drink her fruity drink through a bunch of straws.

A_lison Daniels? Why was that familiar?_ Jess wracked her brains. She had heard that name before. When? She closed her eyes in deep thought until it popped up. _Alison Daniels, in the woods. Oh. _She thought. Slowly, a cold feeling sank across her body. She had a sudden urge for another drink and excused herself and headed to the bar.

* * *

The whisky and coke she had purchased caught in her throat has she sat on the red vinyl bar stool. The girls did not seem to realise she had not came back yet after the many jugs of fruity cocktail they had consumed, so Jess decided to stay a while where she was and calm herself. _What was wrong with her? Nick could talk to other women! She wasn't the jealous type. _

Twisting herself on the seat to face the bachelorette party, she looked to her left to observe the scene through a curtain of her hair. Most of the guys were playing what looked like a rather messy game of beer pong. More pong than beer. Jamie and Bobby seemed to be still engrossed in their argument and Bobby currently had Jamie in some kind of head lock and was wrapping one of his knuckles against his hair. A few other guys stood around chatting drinking bottles of beer. But then there was Nick. Still sat in his high sided chair with the leggy figure of Alison God-damn Daniels perched on the arm. Her head flicked backwards in a peal of laughter. Nick, too, seemed to find something very funny and Jess observed with hostility as he reached out and gave one of Alison's arms a squeeze.

A strange feeling came over her as she watched the scene. She felt a little breathless and panicky. _Why am I feeling like this? _Her mind began to whirl with scenarios. Losing Nick. Feeling loss. Bertrayal. Little blond haired Miller babies. Stories around the dinner table of how they were each other's first. _STOP! _She told herself. You are being an irrational idiot. Nick would never to that to you. He cares about you. She took a large gulp of whisky to try and calm herself. Just at that moment she saw her head bend down towards Nick and for a second she felt sure they would kiss. But instead she saw her mouth move to Nick's ear to whisper something, her cleavage was so close to his face. The she saw him laugh. With that, her stomach hit the floor. She felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. Seeing the guy she loved looking so _intimate_ with someone from his past was more than she take. As irrational as she knew it was, she needed air, now. Unfortunately, the door was in the direction of them. Nick and her.

Grabbing her purse, she took a deep breath and looking down, she started power walking towards the exit. Hoping Nick wouldn't see her. But, as she walked near him she hear his distinctive, "Jess…"

She looked up startled and only then did he see that her eyes were a little red. "Hey, I want you to meet Alison," Jess awkwardly shook Alison's hand before stepping quickly away.

"Nick has been telling me all about you," she began in her distinctive draw, "You're a lucky girl getting our Nicky!" and she ended with a small, guttural laugh. Nick's face reciprocated with a smile and Jess couldn't take any more.

"I gotta, er, get some air," she mumbled and without waiting for a response, she headed for the glass doors that opened onto the parking lot. As she stumbled outside she felt her breath coming in irrational gasps and she walked over to a small bench laid next to the payphone and bent her head down wards, worried she was beginning to panic.

"Jess, Jess?" she heard Nick's voice calling her but she hadn't the energy to raise her head and if she had, she was worried she would be sick. Her head was swimming and she felt a cold chill of dread in her stomach and a buzzing in her ears. She hadn't felt like this since-

"Jess," Nick continued as he sat on the wooden bench next to her, "What was that? You got this weird look on your face and then you just split. I was worried." He placed one hand on her shoulder. Jess felt the sickness continue to squirm in her belly and she was unable to speak, but she managed to raise her body and meet Nick's earnest gaze with a sad one of her own. "What's wrong Jess? I thought you were having a good time…"

Jess felt a wave of sickness run over her. She wasn't sure whether it was the conversation of the quickly consumed whiskey but either way it was determined to make her feel vile. "I," she breathed, "I…I was worried."

Nick looked at her quizzically, "Worried? About what?" Jess continued to lock eyes with Nick, unable to give him more information. But then he saw it in her eyes and the penny dropped. "Alison." He said simply. Jess nodded and then placed her face in her hand and took deep breaths. "Hey Jess, we were just catching up, ya know, I haven't seen her in over ten years…"

Jess slowly straightened herself and levelled her gaze with Nick's. "I know. And I know this is irrational and stupid but it makes my stomach turn." She took a deep breath. "How did you feel when you thought I was going to meet up with Teddy?"

She saw Nick's expression change into one of contemplation. "I felt jealous. More jealous than I ever thought possible. I didn't want you to go."

"Well in this case, we are already dating and she is here," Jess felt the sickness begin to retreat and she sat upwards, pulling her legs to her chest.

"Well Jess, that was different, you were going on a _date_ with Teddy. We were just talking," he spoke carefully, unsure of her reaction.

"I know and it's crazy. I am not the jealous type. Never. But being here, with all these people who know you so much better than I do…" With that she took a large intake of breath and stifled a cry. W_hat is wrong with me she thought._ Nick closed the gap between them and pulled her closer to him, she felt the heat radiating off him in the balmy night course through her. "It's so ridiculous," she continued, "But I'm scared, so scared…" and with that she began to lightly sob into Nick's shoulder.

Nick had never seen her cry like this. He had seen her get upset and cry. He had seen her get angry and cry. She had cried over Dirty Dancing and orphaned baby dolphins but never over him. She seemed so sad. "Shhh," he hushed as he pulled her close to him, kissing her lightly on the forehead, "Hey, stop this, you're being silly. I would never so anything to hurt you never,"

Jess kept her face pushed into his shoulder as she replied, "Spencer used to say that too me too," and with that her small body was wracked with silent sobs. And then he saw it. His strong, independent, confident, amazing Jess was still a little broken. Still touched from the actions of someone who had said he loved her. And she worried Nick would to the same. A sudden wave of affection came over him as he pulled her onto his lap and hushed her soft cries.

Finally, her breathing became more regular and she looked up into his eyes. Using his thumb, he wiped away the two small tears that remained on her cheek, before brushing his fingers against her red lips. They both looked into each other's eyes and began to match their breathing.

"Jess, I would never, ever, in a million years do anything to hurt you. You mean so much to me…" he trailed off and had to recompose himself. "This life here I left behind a long time ago. It's not me, these people aren't me. Sure, they helped make me what I am, but let's be honest they didn't do that great a job," he gave her a small smile, "My life is in LA now. And, to be honest, since I met you, it's not been the same. These people don't really know me anymore, they see a Nick from 10 years ago who doesn't exist. _You_ know me better than anyone," he pulled her closer, "You are my best friend Jess, you make me want to be better. Not for you, but just because I believe I can be. Please don't ever think I would ever do anything to-"

And with that Jess cut him off with a kiss. A passionate, love filled kiss, full of promise, outside a beat up dive bar on an early summer evening in Chicago.


	12. Alfresco

**A short, smutty chapter but it has a point, enjoy!**

Breaking away from the embrace, Jess's lips tingled and her heart raced. She felt embarrassed, silly, vulnerable… She hated the fact that the actions of one person, more than 2 years ago, could still be having such an impact on her life. She sighed and looked up at Nick, still entwined in his arms. "I'm sorry Nick," she said simply.

"You have nothing to be sorry about Jess. I understand, I understand how it feels…" he thought back to his reaction when he saw Jess hugging Sam, the pull in the pit of his stomach, the resignation he felt. "We are what we are because of our experiences. Spencer… He was an idiot. He treated you badly. I understand how that still hurts."

"I really thought I was over it all. I've not even thought about it for the longest time. But I suppose I never really dealt with it, I was so desperate to move on. Being cheated on is the worst feeling Nick, it's like your whole world is collapsing and the one person you thought you could trust is doing all the destruction," Nick pulled her a little closer and rested his chin on her head. There was a brief silence between them as they contemplated their conversation, the only sounds the faint chirping of crickets. Jess pulled away a little and looked back at him, "But I know you aren't Spencer, Nick and I have to remember that and I have to try…"

"No Jess, I'm not him. In fact, I hate his guts so much for what he did to you that if her were here now…" Nick broke off, "I love you Jess and all I want is the chance to prove that to you. I'd never hurt you. But _I'm_ sorry too. I did let Alison be a bit too flirty with me, she was drunk and I guess I wasn't thinking how it looked," he finished giving Jess a lopsided smiled.

"Okay, let's not let this ruin our evening," she replied, reciprocating with her own smile before returning to their kiss. She wasn't sure if it was the alcohol, the warm evening or the pent up emotion but quickly Jess began to feel pretty twirly. Her kisses became quickly passionate as she moved her body closer to his and she wriggled impatiently in his lap; breathing hard she broke away from the kiss and locked eyes with Nick. "I know this really is not the most appropriate time, but I'm feeling really…" she raised her eyebrows in response. Nick pulled his mouth into a sly smile and looked at her quizzically. "And I just remembered, I did forget to put my underwear back on…" With that Nick grabbed her once more, his hands pulled her waist closer to him as she pulled herself up so she had to lean down to kiss him. His hands then snuck under the cotton folds of her dress and ran over her pert, bare bottom. _She wasn't lying…_he thought. He felt himself begin to harden. "Where?" she asked breathlessly.

Nick looked around, this was not exactly the most romantic of locations but at this point that he didn't care. He wanted her, he needed her. Wordlessly picking her up, she wrapped her legs around him as he began to move around to the back of the bar. Their passionate kisses not breaking. The bar was an L shaped building and at the rear there was a metal stand filled with empty silver beer kegs. He backed Jess up to the wooden wall next to the stand, there were no lights here and darkness enveloped them. Unravelling her legs Jess dropped to the floor and feeling emboldened said, "I wanna do something." Taking Nick's arms she turned him around so his back was against the wall and keeping her eyes locked on his she began to slowly unbutton his belt and fly, before reaching into his underwear and taking hold of his warm, hard erection. Nick gasped as her cool hands touched him. Maintaining eye contact Jess sank to her knees, gently massaging him as she did. She raised a little smile to her mouth before moving her soft lips to his tip and brushing them against it, causing it to jerk a little in response. Opening her mouth, she began to softly twirl her tongue around the smoothness as her hand continued to slowly move. Gently, she grazed her teeth over him before continuing her swirling, moving slowly and slowly deeper. She began to suck harder as she went, soaking in the feeling of him.

Nick's breath was rapid and shallow, one of his hands balled into a fist against the wall whilst the other entangled in her hair and gently urged her deeper. Taking his command she allowed more of him to enter her mouth, continuing the movement of her tongue and hand. She felt him in the back of her throat, letting out an M_mmmmmm_ which sent delicious vibrations through him. Nick couldn't take much more and abruptly commanded her, "Get up," she stopped and looked up at him, "I said, get up." Biting her lip she did as she was told.

Quickly spinning her round, he resumed their earlier kiss, not caring where her mouth had just been. His hands dipped into the cleavage of her sundress, grabbing her breaths roughly causing her gasp. He gently pushed them together before burying his face between them and smothering them in hot kisses. Reaching into his back pocket, he found his emergency condom, that had been in there since he didn't remember when. Without breaking his kisses her ripped it open and unravelled it. Raising her dress, he cupped her buttocks and lifter her of the ground, pushing her against the wall. Without missing a beat, he quickly entered her and began to rapidly thrust.

She began to pant in surprise, letting out little moans, turning him on even more than he thought possible. The chilled breeze against her naked lower half made Jess feel like a libertine. The wetness between her legs increased and Nick began to lose all control as Jess tightened her legs around him and he began to move faster than he thought possible, searching that goal, that end point. Jess reached it first, "God Nick," she cried in his ear. Her racked breathing and clenching walls drove him into his own orgasm and with one last thrust he let out a low throaty groan.

They remained against the wall as the both caught their breath before he let her gently down. They turned away from each other as Jess tidied brushed the dirt from her knees and tidied her dress and hair and he moved to redress himself. Looking down, his heart dropped. O_h Shit, _he thought. It was broken. The condom had split, just a little, but definitely split. He began to panic. _How old was that damn thing?_ He wasn't sure. But maybe that wasn't even the reason, maybe they were a bit rough. _Like it matters, _he thought. In a frenzy, he removed what was left and threw it into the trashcan beside the kegs before quickly rebuttoning and tucking himself in. He turned to face Jess who was wearing a satisfied, dreamy smile. "That was _hot_," she said pulling him into one last kiss.

"Yeah, Jess it was, err-" he broke of mid-sentence when he saw how happy she looked and contrasted that with the sad Jess of earlier. _Why ruin her night? It won't make any difference if I tell her later. _So he resolved to keep quiet for the rest of the evening.

Placing his hand on the small of her back, he began to lead her away. "C'mon, they'll all be wondering where we got to," and they walked back to the bar. _Yeah, later, I'll tell her later._ Nick repeated in his head.

**Roh-Ruh!**


	13. Consequences

**All actions and decisions have consequences... If you are enjoying this, please let me know, a review or a PM is always appreciated and I always reply :)**

**Update/Authors Note: I've had some feedback that this is getting a bit 'dramatic'; in response ... I planned for this fanfic to last quite a while, I wanted to explore the sort of issues that I'm sure LM has planned for the future. I need to inject drama put them in situations that make them think about their relationship. I promise not to drag things out for the sake of it and I have some great moments planned, bear with me! J x**

Peeling open her eyes, Jess tried to ignore pounding in her head, it felt like a small woodpecker had taken up residence there and was boring a hole through her skull. Her eyes felt red raw from having left her contacts in for far too long and her mouth was dry and papery. She tried to lift up her head but immediately the pounding intensified, so she lay back on the pillow and turned to her side. Nick was lying, face down, almost spread eagled on the bed. He was still wearing his shirt from last night, but was naked from the waist down. A_ttractive,_ she thought. Clearly they had a good time last night.

Trying again to sit up, she noticed she had managed to put on her pyjamas but all of the buttons were done up wrong. Slowly she began to undo and redo them so she could make a trip to the bathroom. After they re-entered the bar, things had taken a very drunken turn as trays of shots were passed around and the whole group joined in with the beer pong game. Jess remembered having far too many shots, then standing on a table singing along to 'I'm Every Woman' on the jukebox, then her mind went a little fuzzy.

"Urgghhhhh," Nick groaned beside her as he awoke and lifted his head off the pillow. He blearily opened his eyes and let out a loud yawn. "Someone turn of that pounding sound, please…"

"Nick, there is no noise, you're hungover,"Jess replied unsympathetically. She reached to the night stand and picked up the glass of water she had remembered to put there the night before. She took a long gulp of the unpleasant, room temperature liquid before handing it to him, "Drink," she ordered.

Nick obeyed, turning around and pulling himself into a seating position before gulping down the remains of the glass. "Man, that night turned crazy! I can barely remember anything." He sighed and leant back against the wooden headboard.

"I hope you can remember some of it," Jess teased, rubbing his head. Nick laughed.

"Yeah, it's not a total blank. Actually Jess, there is something I wanted to tell you-" Nick was cut off then there was a quick knocking at the door.

"Nicky? Are you decent?" It was Bonnie. Nick quickly pulled the covers over his bare bottom half.

"Yeah Ma, what's up?" Cautiously Bonnie opened the door and stood in the doorway beaming at the couple sat together on the small bed. Jess felt a little odd – this wasn't the usual way you wanted your boyfriend's mom to see you. Plus she knew she looked a mess, smeared make up and crazy hair. She made a mental note not to drink that much again.

"I wanted to see if I could borrow Jess for a few hours! All the ladies are heading to the spa to get manicures and relax before tomorrow and I thought Jess would like it."

"Oh Bonnie, that would be awesome! It's been so long since I've been pampered," she grinned, turning to Nick, "You can manage with me for a little while can't you?"

"Yeah, sure, I guess…" Nick's voice trailed off.

"Great!" exclaimed Bonnie, "We need to leave in about 30 minutes, is that ok?"

"Sure, I'll just go jump in the shower," Jess replied and with that she hopped off the bed and picked up her towel, following Bonnie out of the room.

Nick sighed, he had wanted to tell Jess about the little accident last night._ Guess I'll have to tell her later, _he thought. With that he slid back down the bed to try and get a few more precious minutes sleep and ignore the nagging feeling in his stomach.

* * *

The time to talk had not arrived at all during that day. Jess had spent a blissful 3 hours being indulged at _La Boheme _spa and had had the chance to get to know the rest of the bridal party. She'd realised they were all very nice girls as they made an effort to get to know her and involved her – as well as regale her with stories of the hi jinx the Miller boys had gotten up to as children.

By the time they had gotten back to the Miller household, it was empty. Nick, Jamie and the other men had went to get their final tuxedo fittings and then to hit the bar. Nick had left a note for Jess, _Probably won't be back before the rehearsal dinner, mom will give you a ride. I hope you had a great time._

_Love Nick_

_PS, need to have a little talk when I see you._

Jess pondered briefly what he could need to talk to her about, before laying out on the bed and trying to sleep off the rest of her hangover.

* * *

Arriving at Bambino's Italian restaurant, Jess felt thoroughly refreshed. A long nap followed by a warm, bubbly bath had perked her up and she finally felt human again. She had chosen to wear a bright red, lace covered dress with a lower front that she normally wore. It was sexier than her usual style but she was feeling pretty confident today and felt like expressing it. She had also straightened her wavy hair and it was now hanging down her back, almost reaching her waist. Satisfied she looked a little different than usual she had strode inside with Bonnie.

The restaurant was a typical, clichéd Italian place. With faux Italian art on the mock terracotta walls, red and white checked table cloths and wine bottles being used as candle holders. The table that they were to sit at was at the far end of the restaurant, it was long, with almost all the seats already taken. The men from the wedding party were being somewhat loud and laughing together about some unknown joke, clearly their afternoon at the bar went well. They approached the table and Jess spotted Nick who waved and gave her a small smile. She was disappointed to see that the seats all around him were taken, they hadn't seen each other all day and she yearned to talk to him. Nick saw her disappointment and mouthed 'Sorry' before Marcie's voice rose above the din, "Jess! Jess! I saved you a seat! C'mere!" Jess turned and smiled at Jess and Deann before heading over to sit with them.

* * *

Because of the large numbers it had taken forever for their orders to arrive. But the wine had flowed freely and once again the wedding party was becoming very merry. _Now I know where Nick gets his taste for alcohol from. _She smiled at him across the table as he drank iced whiskey from a tumbler. The candlelight had softened his face and he looked happy and relaxed. Her heart did a little jump. She didn't often have time to reflect on the past couple of crazy months. Still she couldn't believe what was happening, how she was in love with her handsome, kind, charming best friend and he felt the same.

"So, Jess, you never really told us about how you two got together. You're roomates right?" Deann's sudden question interrupted her from her daydream and she swung around to face her.

"Yeah, I moved into a loft with him and two other guys a couple of years ago. But we've only been dating for two months." Jess finished her glass of wine and reached for the bottle to refill it.

"So, who made the move? I bet it was you. Jamie said Nick's not exactly the go getter type," with that Deann laughed and Marcie joined in.

"Actually, he was the one who first kissed me and first, well, you know," Jess raised her eyebrows.

"Oh tell! I love a good romance story!" Marcie begged. Jess filled the girls in on the happenings that had led to her and Nick being a couple, the first kiss, the first time, Cece's wedding and their first real date.

"Wow," said Deann, "Now that is a good story! Jamie just bought me a drink in Magoo's and asked if I wanted to go out and that was it. So much for romance!"

"So what's it like, y'know," Marcie interjected, winking at Jess and glancing in Nick's direction.

"Marce that's a little personal, you only just met the damn girl!" Deann playfully pushed her friend and Jess smiled weakly. It was an awfully personal question, but Jess felt like giving a little away.

"Let's just say, I have no complaints. It's, well, amazing. We've pretty much been constantly at it since we started dating," Jess giggled and took another sip of wine. It was definitely loosening her lips. Just then the food began to arrive, "Oh look, food!" Jess cried. She was ravenous and quickly began to tuck into her tortellini as Marcie and Deann began to share some of their own awful dating stories.

* * *

Standing outside the restaurant waiting for the taxi, Nick took the chance to finally talk to Jess. "Jess, you look beautiful tonight," she smiled happily at him, "I'm so sorry about the seating, I tried to keep you one and they guys said I was whipped," he pulled a sad little face at her that made Jess smile. She wrapped and arm around him and pulled him close.

"It's okay. I've actually had a really nice day getting to know the ladies. Dea and Marcie are a little crazy that's for sure."

"I'm glad, I really wanted you to like everyone. Look, we still need to talk about something, when we get back home?" Nick's face looked serious and Jess was again quizzical.

"Yeah of course, hey Nick, is it anything I should worry about?"

"No, no, just something a little private," and with that he placed a kiss on her cheek and they finally their taxi arrived and they quickly pushed inside with Deann and Jamie.

* * *

It seemed that the party was continuing at the Miller house. The living room was packed with people talking loudly over the sound of the TV in the background. In the kitchen, Bobby was filling up the fridge with bottles of beer from a box and Bonnie was fixing more snacks for her guests. Nick and Jess pushed their way through the crowd and Nick grabbed a beer and Jess poured herself a glass of cool water to clear her head.

"You Millers know how to celebrate Nick! How long will this go on for? Jess asked as she took a long drink.

Nick took her arm and led her to the door onto the back porch, pushing it open and leading her to the faded swing seat that hung at it's centre. "Well, as we all have to be up pretty early tomorrow I'd say everyone will be done by at least sunrise," with that they both let out a giggle and Jess rested her head against his shoulder, looking up at the lightly stay covered sky. "Jess, about what I wanted the talk about," Nick shifted to his side so he was facing Jess and rested his beer bottle on the back of the swing.

"Yeah, I was wondering what all that was about," Jess replied, mirroring his pose.

Nick suddenly looked nervous and began to pick at the material of his jeans. Jess swallowed heavily, scared at what he was going to say. "You see, last night, it…it broke," he lifted his head to see a confused expression cross Jess's face.

"It?" she asked.

"_It,"_ he repeated, with greater emphasis, nodding his head and gesturing with his free hand. He took a large gulp of his beer.

Jess's brow furrowed. W_hat was he talking about? What broke last night? There wasn't anything here capable of breaking. They had flown to Chicago (no cars), she knew her phone was in her purse…._Then sudden realisation hit. The glass of water in her hand tumbled out of her grasp, spilling water all over her dress. She quickly jumped up and her heart began to race, "Are you trying to tell me the condom broke?" Nick slowly nodded, slightly scared by the high pitched tone her voice had taken, "And you waited 24 hours to tell me?" her voice was getting louder.

"Uh-huh," Nick replied quietly. She stomach drop. She was panicking. This could not be happening.

"What?! Are you crazy? Didn't you think that was a piece of information that I might like to be aware of? Why on Earth didn't you tell me straight away?" She was breathing heavily now as Nick slowly rose from his seated position. "Well say something Miller!"

"Jess, shh, someone's going to hear…" he began. Jess eyes widened and she plumped her fists on her hips defiantly. Pursing her lips she engaged Nick in a cold stare. "You were just in such a good mood last night after you'd been so sad so I thought I'd wait until the morning… But then I didn't get the chance." He pushed his hands into his jeans pockets. This was going a lot worse than planned.

"Well initial error of judgement aside, could you not have called me? Came and talked to me in the bathroom? Not gone to the bar with the guys? Geez Nick, this is serious. What if I'm pregnant? We are NOT ready to be parents. How would we manage, on YOUR salary," she sat down again and put her face in her hands and murmured, _oh God, oh God_ and rocked back and forth.

Nick's heart sank. He hadn't really thought this through at all. He sat down beside her and tried to put an arm around her shoulder. What if she was pregnant? She was right. How could he ever support a child?

"Get off me, I'm so mad at you right now," she forcibly pushed him away. She felt hot tears begin to well in her eyes. "This is not the kind of thing you keep quiet. I thought I could trust you." She looked up at his with tear stained eyes, for the second time in 24 hours, and Nick's heart began to break a little.

"Look, I'm so sorry Jess. I'm an idiot, I thought I was helping," he placed a hand on her knee, "Look, first thing tomorrow, we'll head over to the family planning clinic-"

"Tomorrow is Sunday Nick," she said cutting him off, "It will be closed. The morning after pill is only effective for 72 hours. We could go on Monday, but…"

Nick finally understood the gravitas of what she was saying. She, Jessica Day, may be pregnant with the child of an irresponsible, casually employed bartender with no future prospects. Fine as a boyfriend, but not as something serious.

"I don't know what to say." He replied simply.

"Yeah Nick, well neither do I," and with that she picked up her purse and stormed back into the house.

He caught up with her at the bottom of the stairs and took hold of her arm, "Wait, Jess, we need to talk about this…" She looked up at him though her bangs.

She pulled his hand away from her arm and with a flat, emotionless voice said, "Nick, I need to think and I don't want to talk to you right now. Don't follow me." Then she quickly raced up the stairs until he heard his door close with a bang,

* * *

She lay on the cool sheets of the bed and tossed and turned_. Pregnant. I might be pregnant. A baby. A child. Nick's baby. Our child. I want a baby. But it's too soon, far too soon. How would we care for it? We'd have to move. Nick would need a better job…_ Then a vision of Nick cradling a new born baby popped into her head, gazing at it lovingly. Then, a toddler with chocolate brown eyes and righteous curls taking their first steps into Nick's arms and saying, 'Poppa' as Jess smiled. Her mind whirled. What did she want? Would Nick make a good father? Would she make a good mother? Her mind continued to turn these questions over and over until finally, exhausted, she fell asleep.

**Next time, a Miller family wedding? Will Jess ever forgive Nick? Are they about to become parents?**


	14. Brown Paper Bag

**Just a short chapter... Please let me know what you think. I'm wrestling with a balance between the angst/fluff/smut ratio! I have ideas for the future but I don't want this to turn into a melodrama!**

**Update: small edit - thanks Ztofan!**

Shifting position, Nick felt the creak in his neck get worse. The arm chair he had chosen to sleep in, or at least tried to sleep in, was hard and lumpy. He sighed; since Jess had stormed off to bed earlier, he had felt his mood become lower and lower. She clearly was very upset with him, but more than that, she'd made it clear that she didn't see how this could have a future.

Frankly, he couldn't blame her. The more he thought about it, the more he realised this thing they had was doomed. He was unreliable and he let her down. His own issues were huge – he was insecure, lacking in confidence and still trying to find his way as an adult. He had been kidding himself that this could work and now they were in this situation.

Standing up, he stretched and looked at the clock on the mantelpiece, 5.00am. Outside, the first rays of dawn sunlight were beginning to peek over the horizon. Rubbing his face, he began to think about Jess again. The thought that he had upset her filled him with dread; his love for her still scared him. He racked is brain for a way to make it up to her –he had pretty much decided that this was over but he still needed to try and salvage the situation. Suddenly, he had an idea and went searching for the phone book.

* * *

Jess stretched out her arm and felt the bare sheet next to her. Nick hadn't come up to bed. She wasn't' surprised, she felt sick when she considered how they had left things. In the cool light of dawn, she felt remorseful. Yes, he had been foolish, not telling her straight away, but it wasn't his fault they were in this situation. She remembered her harsh words about having a baby, _on your salary._ Jess knew that was a sensitive issue for Nick Miller. But she also knew he was changing, trying to make his life slowly better and she may have just set things back. Rubbing her hands together as she studied the green linen curtains, she began to consider all the thoughts she had had last night again. It was a scary prospect-having a child in general. But who better to have a child with than someone you loved? And she did love him. She couldn't deny that. All the other issues that came along with this are things that they would need to work out together. But she stopped herself –it was still most possible that she wasn't even pregnant. I mean, what were the chances?

Either way, she decided that she needed to speak to Nick, clear the air. So she slid out of the bed and went to door.

* * *

Opening the door, Nick placed Bonnie's car keys back on the wooden bureau in the hallway and grabbing the small paper bag her bounded up the stairs to his room, two at a time. He paused and briefly rapped on the door and waited.

* * *

The knocking on the door made Jess pause. Jess cautiously moved forward, twisted the handle and pulled it towards her. Stood in front of her was Nick, wearing the same rumpled clothes from last night, holding a small brown paper bag.

"Nick?"

"Can I come in?" he asked. Jess nodded and he walked into the room and closed the door behind him.

"Nick, about last night…" she began.

"Jess, I'm an idiot. I should have told you straight away. I wasn't thinking. And I'm sorry." Jess gave him a weak smile.

"Nick, I know, I've been thinking about it and I need to say sorry too. I panicked. I didn't mean all those things I said. I was shocked." She placed a hand on his arm and looked up at him. He looked down at her hand and then back into her eyes.

"I wanted to do something to help, so I made a couple of calls this morning and I found a 24 hour pharmacy," he lifted up the brown paper bag package and placed it in her hands, "Here. The pharmacist said it'll be fine to take now. No baby Miller." Jess looked at the package in her hands and paused. Nick had done something responsible for her, for them.

"Thank you Nick," and she walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, taking the small white box out of the package as she went. Nick followed and sat beside her on the bed. She began to study the writing on the box whilst he watched nervously. "So it's just one little pill...then it's over." She turned the box over in her hands and ran her fingers across the coloured writing on side. "Plan B, that's an ironic name. I guess most people don't actually choose the plan A."

"I don't suppose they do Jess," Nick replied.

Opening the box, she popped out the small white pill and washed it down with a gulp of water from the glass on the nightstand. The silence between them was thick with tension. Finally she turned to face him and reached out a hand to stroke his face. "I love you," she said simply, "And I was thinking, even if I was pregnant, maybe it wouldn't have been the worst thing in the word". He hadn't been expecting this.

"But, I thought…I thought you were mad at me. That I was not the kind of guy you wanted to get in this situation with. I have a terrible job Jess, how would I support you?" he reached out and touched her bare shoulder, stroking it with this thumb.

"Nick, I don't know. But I know I love you and I know you are a good person. And I know if you love someone it's simple. We aren't ready for this yet, but maybe we will be one day. I just need you to be honest with me and not try and hide things and protect me," she smiled, "I'm a big girl, I can deal with the consequences of my actions – if I know the action happened." Nick wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her hair.

"I don't deserve you Jess. I keep messing up and you keep forgiving me," he pulled back to look into her eyes, "What about when the time comes when I do something you can't forgive?"

"And why do you think that time will come? I don't think you would ever intentionally hurt me. You've got a good heart," she placed her hand on his chest, "You just sometimes get a little lost along the way. And of all the people I'd like to get a little lost with, you're top of the list." She reached forward and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

"I still maintain I don't deserve you. But I promise I will always be there for you. I may mess up again. Numerous times. And I apologise in advance for that."

"And I forgive you in advance. Who is perfect? God I'm not. Situations do get messy but life would be boring without them." Slowly she placed her arms around his neck and pulled herself into his embrace. He swallowed, before gently bending down and placing a soft kiss on her lips. He could taste the toothpaste she had used last night, still lingering. His arms moved to her waist and he tightened his hands around the soft cotton material of her pyjama bottoms. As their kiss deepened, Jess lay back on the bed as Nick laid over her, slipping his hands under the stretchy material of her pyjama top and moving them over the smooth skin of her stomach.

Jess sighed. His touch comforted her and made her feel safe. He lifted the material and lowered his head to lay a trail of kisses across her stomach, before taking his hand and running it over the trail he had just left. He looked up and locked eyes with Jess.

"This is going to sound crazy. But I thought about it a lot last night, and I want that one day. A child, with you. I think it would be amazing." Jess shifted so she was sitting up on her elbows. Nick's face held a whimsical smile, like he were daydreaming.

"Really? You wouldn't like freak out and run away?" a smile played at Jess's lips.

"Well, I can't guarantee it…." Nick began to laugh a little and she playfully swatted him, "But, some day, in the future, if all this works out, I'm going to put a little Miller baby in here," he placed a kiss on her bare stomach. "And it's going to be the weirdest, quirkiest, big eyed, grumpiest, turtle faced baby ever. Like all the other babies will be either jealous or scared of it. Actually, it'll be so weird we'll have to homeschool it. Which works well for you," Jess joined in with Nick's laugh.

"You clown!" she cried, playfully wrestling him, "C'mere," and she pulled him back into an embrace. The tension between them was broken. They both knew that they were a long way from resolving all the issues in their relationship, but were happy and excited to let those things run their course. "Let's move on and enjoy today, your brothers getting married, I get to see you in a tux, it's exciting!" and she leaned in for another kiss.

Then unexpectedly, there was a rapid and urgent knocking on the door…

**So, a short chapter. I was going to wait and make this a longer chapter including the wedding but I felt I'd painted myself into a corner with the last couple of chapters so I wanted to resolve that so I could move onto more light hearted faire later in the week!**


	15. Mr and Mrs Miller

**Sorry for the little wait, not like me! Hope you enjoy, review if you do :D**

Jessica paused and turned her head to the door, _Who could that be?_ Her question was answered when Jamie's voice came through the door, "Nick, Nick, let me in, it's an emergency!" Nick reluctantly stood up and padded over to the door, opening it to see a sweaty, dishevelled looking Jamie panting as though he had just run a marathon. "Nick, I need your help, there's been an accident!"

"Woah, what do you mean an accident? Is mom okay? Is De okay?"

"Yeah, yeah they're fine," he replied shaking his head, "It's Josh." Nick frowned quizzically.

"Josh?" he asked.

"Josh, my best man, the guy who was doing the truffle shuffle on the pool table the other night."

"Ah," said Nick, his mind instantly filled with the picture of Josh's not inconsiderable girth wobbling like Jello along to 'Twist and Shout', he shuddered, "Well what's wrong?"

"After everyone left last night we decided to go up to the old Waverly water tower – look out over the city, have my last beers as a single guy…" Nick could see where this was heading, "Anyway, turns out he was a little drunker than he thought and when he tried to do a hand hang off the edge he slipped and he fell."

"Oh my God, is he okay?" Jess asked, appearing at Nick's shoulder.

"His leg's pretty messed up, the doc's say he needs an operation. But they also said it was good he was drunk as he relaxed and didn't tense up."

"Oh thank goodness," Jess breathed a sigh of relief.

"But, now I don't have a best man and I was hoping, well, would you do it?" he looked at Nick with pleading eyes.

"Oh, Jamie, I dunno, you know I'm not great talking in front of people…"

"You gotta do this bro, Deann is going to freak when she finds out as it is… I gotta make this day perfect for her and for that I need a best man. There's no one else I can ask." Nick swallowed and felt a small hand on his arm. He turned to look at Jess.

"You should do it Nick. You'll be great," she promised him.

"Ah, alright. What do I need to do?"

"Great man," Jamie engulfed him in a hug and patted his back, "First, can you take care of these," he took a small black velvet pouch out of this pocket and placed it in Nick's hand, "Then you need to come early with me to the church." With that he gave Nick a huge smile before running down the stairs. Nick silently closed the door and turned to face Jess.

"I'm sorry," he said simply.

"Why? You're helping your brother out," she replied taking hold of his arms.

"Well, I'd wanted to spend more time with you at the wedding but I guess I'll be stuck doing things for Jamie," he twisted his face into a side smile.

"We'll have plenty of time together at the reception. Look, you should go get showered, I want to try and get a few more z's. Didn't sleep too well last night , y'know." She reached on her tip toes and gave him a chaste peck on his forehead, before reaching for his towel and ushering him out of the door. As she closed it again behind him, she sank back against in, her mind lost in thought.

* * *

Stepping out of Bonnie's car Jess smoothed down the stiff material of her dress and flipped her hair over one shoulder. She hadn't seen Nick since he had bounded out of the house almost 2 hours earlier to collect the tuxedos and run last minute errands.

She was nervous, although she wasn't exactly sure why. She'd met everyone before and she loved weddings… but this felt different. A family wedding was kind of a big deal. She'd only ever attended one with a boyfriend before and that was Spencer's sister's – and his relatives had spent the whole time asking when it would be their turn. It had been awkward; made more awkward by Spencer's way of shrugging it off and laughing.

Turning, she smiled broadly at Bonnie, so smart in her lilac wedding outfit. She looked so proud that one of her sons was finally getting married. She walked over to Bonnie and hooked her arm with hers. "Oh Jess, I'm so excited, we've not had a family wedding in I don't know how long!" They started to slowly walk towards the chapel.

"Oh I love weddings too. I come from a small family so we don't have to many either," Bonnie squeezed her arm gently.

"Well let's hope it's not too long until the next one then," she finished, causing Jess's mind to spin a little more as they stepped inside.

* * *

Nick carefully fingered the velvet pouch in his pocket as he watched Jamie nervously pace up and down the small side room they were waiting in. The other groomsmen were working as ushers, leaving Nick to give his little brother a final pep talk.

"Oh God, I'm so nervous," said Jamie, struggling to control his breathing, "It's just, I love her so much. Damn, I can't believe she is marrying me. You got the rings?" Nick lifted the small bag out of his pocket and into Jamie's line of sight. "Okay, what else, I got tux, rings, hip flask," with that he took out a small silver bottle and took a swig of it's contents before offering it to Nick, who shook his head, "and vows." He reached in his jacket pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of yellow lined paper.

"Looks like your all set. What are your vows?" Jamie passed the paper over to Nick who unfolded it and smoothed it out.

_You are hot, you are awesome, I can't believe you want to be with me. Let's do this._

"Let's do this? Are you sure this is setting the right tone?" Nick's face settled into and uncertain grimace.

"You know I'm no good with words, I only passed high school cos Ma wrote my English papers." Nick nodded in agreement; Jamie was just about the least eloquent person he knew.

"Okay, well, I think we need to do a little polishing," he looked around the room and saw a desk in the corner. In the drawer, he found a pen and a small, white notepad. He handed them to Jamie, "Here, take some notes."

* * *

Settling into their seats on the left of the central, flower strewn aisle, Jess fidgeted in her seat. Bonnie had taken her place on the front pew and Jessica was sitting alone a few rows behind. She had a nagging feeling, an urge: she wanted to see Nick. She wasn't sure why but the thought wouldn't go away so she rose from her seat and looked around the room. Unable to see him, she finally saw Bobby's mop of orangey hair and headed to him where he was directing the new arrivals. Tapping him on the shoulder, she asked him, "Hey, where's Nick?" Bobby looked annoyed to have been interrupted but cocked his thumb towards a small door at the front right of the church.

"The _best man_ and the groom are over there," _ouch, _thought Jess, someone's a little bitter. Without responding she quickly headed over to the door, she was about to knock when she heard voices inside. Curious, she moved her ear closer to the door and listened.

"So, what have we got so far?" she heard Nick's voice clearly.

"Er, okay, here goes… I promise to love and care for you, and I will try in every way to be worthy of your love. I will always be honest with you; kind, patient and forgiving."

"Okay, that's a start. Try this: I will be your partner in life, through the good times and the stupid times, I promise to appreciate all the unique things that make you you, I promise to make you laugh, hold your hand through the scary moments, to dry your tears when you are sad…" he trailed off.

"Nick, this is GOLD! Deann is going to love it!" Nick was ringing his hands, deep in thought.

"Yeah, but it needs, it needs one last thing;" he paused for a minute, "-But most of all, I promise to be a true and loyal friend to you. I love you, Jessica." There was an audible gasp outside the door, Nick's head instantly turned towards the door.

"Deann, Nick, her name is Deann," Jamie muttered as he wrote down the last of Nick's words.

"Did you hear something?" Nick asked, Jamie grunted in response. So Nick headed for the handle of the door.

_Meanwhile…_

Jess strained to hear the voices inside the room without looking too obvious to the other guests. Nick's voice had gone a little quieter, but she leaned a little closer in time to hear, "But most of all, I promise to be a true and loyal friend to you. I love you, Jessica." Jessica had instantly gasped and her hand had flown to her mouth. What was that? Had he just said her name? Was that meant for her? Oh my God…

She stood frozen to the spot, she really ought to run back to her seat but her legs felt like Jello and she doubted she would make it. Suddenly, the door to the room swung open and their stood Nick Miller.

Nick Miller. In a tux. Hair swept back. The white of the tuxedo shirt showing off his summer tan and making his eyes sparkle. She was momentarily distracted by how handsome and how hot he looked. He didn't often dress up but when he did, oh man… She shook herself out of her daydream and opened her mouth to speak-

"Jess?" Nick asked her quizzically. She beamed at him in response, a stupid, silly, girly grin. "How long have you been stood here… Did you hear…?"

"Oh me, I just got here, like 2 seconds ago. Just wanted to wish you luck. So good luck!" panicking, she turned on her heels and skipped back to her seat.

_Crap_, he thought. She heard, she definitely heard and now I've freaked her out. Resigned, he closed the door and returned to Jamie.

* * *

The ceremony was beautiful, in a Miller way. The bride walked down the aisle to 'Just can't help falling in love with you', which made Bonnie cry. Her dress was a vast meringue affair which struggled to fit between the pews. The bridesmaids were adorned in dresses of canary yellow and cobalt blue and carried matching posies. Jamie cried first, then Deann, then Bonnie, then Bobby. Finally, even the pastor joined it. They lit a candle to represent Walt, which Jess thought was sweet and finally they exited the church to a raucous rendition of 'Another one bites the dust'.

Jess rode with Bonnie back to the house after the usual photos were taken. The caterers were busy at work and the canopy in the garden was ready with a small dance floor and a band doing a sound check. The Millers living room had been emptied and replaced by a selection of folding card tables covered in white and yellow checked table cloths. Jess milled around making small talk with the various guests, gushing over the brides dress and other such wedding pleasantries.

Finally, the wedding party arrived, Jamie carrying Deann over the threshold and the other groomsmen walked in supping on bottles of beer. She saw him, Nick. He caught her eye and his face looked worried. She wanted to go over and talk to him but she was cut off by Deann screaming, "God I'm hungry, let's eat!" before she led the guests into the yard for the wedding barbeque.

* * *

Jess filled her plate with ribs, sausage, chicken wings and potato salad before making her way to a table on the porch. Nick was still busy making pleasantries with the guests and they had only had time to say a quick, "Hi," in the 30 minutes since he had arrived. Her stomach felt queasy and she picked at the food, unable to take more than a small mouthful. Sipping on her glass of cool champagne she watched the happy faces of the families as they tucked in to their food and sank bottles of ice cold beer.

Jess had always loved weddings. They were happy times of hope, promise and commitment. The joining together of two people and two families and the creation of something new. As she took another sip she thought, I definitely want this. But do I want it with… Nick? Does he want it with me?

Before she could answer her own question, Nick appeared in front of her, clutching his own plate. "Is this seat taken?" he asked, gesturing to the folding chair beside her.

"Well I was saving it for my boyfriend, but I can't seem to see him anywhere so it's yours," and she gave him a small wink as he laughed and sat down. "Seriously Nick, you look good. You need to find a job where you can wear one of those every day." She reached out and ran her thumb along the lapel of his jacket, taking in the sight of his casually undone tie and unbuttoned shirt, just enough to see a little hair.

"You're one to talk; there isn't a guy here who can keep his eyes off you. You look beautiful Jess." He smiled at her with soft eyes as she lightly blushed.

The made small talk and continued to eat and drink as they both avoided the conversation that they were both desperate to have – what had been overheard earlier. Nick was sure she had heard but lacked the confidence to ask her about it. He was scared; mostly scared he had scared her. Sure, she was being nice but what was she thinking inside. Sometimes Nick thought he was no good at this relationship stuff.

After a little lull, the caterers began to clear away and the guests gathered on the lawn. They moved to stand at the rail that marked the edge of the porch and watched the scene below.

"Are you having a good time Jess? I'm sorry I had to kind of abandon you earlier," he asked as he put his arm around her waist.

"Yes, a great time. You family are great Nick, really nice." Feeling a bit more confident, he decided to go for it. A few bottles of beer had upped his confidence.

"Jess, earlier, in the church, what did you really hear?" she turned to face him and he was sure he saw a flash of panic in her eyes.

"Er-" she began.

"Nick, Nick!" she heard Bonnie calling her son's name, "It's time for the speeches" he turned and gave Jess an apologetic look.

"Sorry, I gotta go, but, lets talk about this when I'm done." Jess nodded and watched as he walked towards the marquee on the lawn.

* * *

4 speeches and twice as many toasts later, the wedding was heading into the evenings celebrations. Dusk was starting to draw in and small sparkles of stars began to light up the sky.

"Okay ladies, it's time to throw the bouquet!" Marcie's voice rang out loud and clear over the murmur of the crowd. Jess stood still until she heard, "You too Jess! Get your cute butt down here!"

Unwilling to argue with Marcie, she picked her way down the steps to the lawn and waited with the other single ladies.

"Okay!" shouted Deann, "Whoever gets this, you're getting hitched but you ain't ever gonna be as lucky as I am," with that she pulled her groom close into a messy, passionate and somewhat inappropriate kiss. Finally she turned with her back to the waiting women and shouted, "One! Two! Three!"

There was a scuffle of arms, legs, hands and feet as 15 desperate ladies scrambled and fought over the precious prize. Jess was pushed, shoved and almost trodden on but finally, she felt the cool, soft petals brush past her hand. She paused, grabbing tight hold before thrusting her hand in the air in a victorious salute.

"We have a winner!" shouted Deann. Jess panted from the excitement, it was the first time she had won the bouquet. She beamed as she stood and brushed some blades of grass from her blue dress before taking a bow. Dipping into her second bow she locked eyes with Nick. His face looked serious. She slowly lowered her arm before rising up again and bending into a final little curtsy.

* * *

After being congratulated by the other ladies (including some very inappropriate comments about how Nick looked in his tux – which she had to admit she kind of liked), Jess picked up the flowers and a fresh glass of champagne and headed over to join Nick, where he stood at the edge of the dance floor.

"So, you won…" he began, pointing at the trophy in her hands.

"Yeah, it's just a game, doesn't mean anything," she replied, placing the flowers on a nearby table.

"I didn't say it meant anything…" They both took a sip of their drinks as a tense silence emerged. Jess was the one to break it.

"I'm going to be honest. I heard. What you said earlier."

"Everything?" he asked.

"Yeah, I think so." She looked up at him with large, honest eyes.

"Ah Jess, it was a mistake, I was helping Jamie write his vows… It didn't mean anything. I don't want to scare you. I love what we have right now. It was just a slip of the tongue." Jess felt a wave of disappointment flash over her.

"Oh, good, I mean, we haven't been dating long and you know, we need to take it slow. Not rush. Do things properly." She rambled as she tried to cover her true feelings.

"Yeah, that's way off. Way off…" Nick added. They both trailed off deep in thought as they turned to watch the dance floor.

On stage, the wedding singer was calling everyone to attention. "Okay, people, lets' get this started. Time for the first dance, to the new Mr and Mrs Miller!" The crowd rose into rapturous applause as Jamie led Deann out onto the dance floor, holding her hand up high and twirling her around.

The band began to strike up as the singer grasped the mike and the first few bars of the song began, _When I'm feeling blue, all I have to do, is take a look at you_, Jess's head swung to face Nick at the sound of the lyrics. Did he remember? He smiled at her. _Maybe he didn't …_ Deann and Jamie swung around the floor, Jamie dipping and twisting her enthusiastically. Gradually other couples began to join them. Nick turned to Jess.

"Would you like to dance?" he asked reaching out his hand.

"I though Nick Miller didn't dance," she replied.

"I'm willing to make an exception," and he wrapped his arm around her waist and led her onto the wooden floor. Moving together, they swayed to the music, the lyrics washing over them:

_When I'm in your arms, nothing seems to matter__  
__My whole world could shatter, I don't care__  
__Wouldn't you agree, baby you and me got a groovy kind of love_

"Do you remember?" Nick began.

"Yeah, this was our first wedding dance," she replied, wrapping her arms more tightly around his neck. He drank in the feeling of her body against his and let his body and mind relax and swirl with possibilities. He loved her. He wanted this. Why lie, why not be honest….

"Jess," he whispered into her ear as the song continued to play and couples whirled around them, "I love you"

"I know Nick, I love you too."

"Yes, I know. And I want this. With you." Jess pulled slightly away and gazed deep into his eyes. "Someday, I don't know when, I want you to be the bride throwing the bouquet and having you first dance. With me." Jess was silent. Nick was worried he had gone too far. He felt like he kept rushing this relationship, risking it's fragile foundations. Finally she pulled closer to him and whispered in his ear.

"It's what I want to, more than anything in the world." And she pulled him into a sweet, tender kiss. Full of longing, hope and promise.


	16. David

**Sorry for taking so long to get to this, I feel like this story is my older neglected child! There's still a lot of life left in this one, I hope you enjoy. PLEASE review, it only takes a minute, all this writing is very time consuming and as much as I enjoy it it's really the reviews that spur me on to continue!**

It was Sunday afternoon and Jessica lay sprawled on her bed, her body covered by that of her boyfriend, Nick. The room was bright with sunlight and the loft was silent. Sighing contently, she watched the regular rise and fall of Nick's chest, his head resting on her stomach, just below her breasts.

They hadn't left her room all day; a rare day where neither had to work was too good an opportunity to pass up. In the month since they had gotten back from Chicago, Nick seemed to have taken more and more shifts at the bar. They still hadn't appointed a new manager and finding time to, well, you know, wasn't always easy.

He began to rouse from his slumber, his prickly stubble scratching her soft skin as he turned his face to meet hers. "Good afternoon handsome," she said as his eyes slowly opened. He smiled at her words.

"Hmmmm, how long was I out?" he asked he let out a yawn.

"Almost an hour," she replied. "It was nice watching you sleep, you look so peaceful." He shifted up the bed so his head was on the pillow next to hers.

"Sorry, I'm just so tired with all the extra shifts lately," he apologised.

"Shhh, don't apologise. I need you well rested," she said, shuffling closer to him and wrapping her arm around him.

"Is that so?" he replied, slipping his arm around her neck, "Why ever would that be?" In response, she pressed her body against his and started to kiss him, at first slow and tender, gradually intensifying as their hands began to roam across the expanse of skin.

Still, after the few months they had been in a relationship, he was amazed by this woman. His head still did not understand what she saw in him but his heart knew he loved her more than he had ever thought possible before. The feel of her body in his arms sent a surge of pleasure through his veins; he could hear her breathing roughen as his kisses wound their way across her skin, teasingly licking and biting his way, attempting to explore as much of her as possible.

She lay back, hair fanned out across the pillow, her body reacting to his touch; twisting, rippling, writhing. Her hands reached backwards and grabbed the headboard behind her, digging in her fingers as his attention moved to the sensitive area between her legs.

The intimacy between them was complete; they were so relaxed and comfortable with each other that both struggled to remember a time when it had not been like this. The tension of earlier in their relationship had been replaced with passion, closeness and intensity.

Finally Jessica took hold of his arms and pulled him closer to her, he wrapped his arms around her and smothered her in yet more passionate kisses. She giggled, "C'mon baby, let's get this train moving."

Smiling, he moved to sit beside her and reached for a condom and then he tapped his lap. She raised her eyebrows, before swinging her leg over his. Flicking her hair over to her back, she rested her hands on his shoulders, lowering her hips as he guided himself inside her. Her eyes flickered closed briefly as the feeling of fullness and satisfaction surged through her body. Slowly, she began to raise and lower her hips in a smooth rhythm, their locked gaze never faltering. Wordlessly his hands moved to her waist, gripping it tightly, as he watched her head roll back in pleasure. Her curls brushed over his fingertips as he felt himself fall deeper into the depths of passion. Looking into her eyes, he watched her pupils dilate as the fluttering feeling inside her increased. She took his hand from her waist and placed his index finger into her mouth and slowly began to suckle, spiralling her tongue around it.

Lost in the moment, he pulled her body quickly towards him and laid his forehead against hers and began to lift his own body eagerly up towards hers, increasing the pace until he could go no faster. She began to pant and moan softly, not breaking gaze with him for a second until the shudders of pleasure ripped through her and she gripped her arms tightly around him whispering, "I love you." Her words caught his own swell of pleasure and he echoed her sentiment as his fingers slipped into her hair and his tension broke, his hands tightening around her dark locks.

Slowly, they had slipped back down the bed and lying intertwined, had eventually fallen into a peaceful slumber.

* * *

The next day was the start of school for Jessica. She had spent most of the summer tutoring in summer school but now she was finally starting her new school properly and meeting her new class. She had been a little nervous; based on her prior experience with the students at this school, but Nick had reassured her, made her lunch and packed her off to school with a kiss on the forehead.

Nick was working at the bar that evening; Jessica was going to come by after work so she could fill him in on the ins and outs of her new class. He watched the clock anxiously as he served the slow trickle of customers who frequented Clyde's on a weeknight. Soon it was 7 O'clock and he frowned, wondering what was taking so long.

Finally, she had entered the bar looking radiant and laughing as she rounded the corner, he smiled. But the smile was short lived when he saw she was not alone. _What the?_ With her was a tall, dark haired, impeccably dressed man, with an annoying handsome face and his hand resting on Jess's shoulder. Nick felt his body tighten.

"Nick, hey! Sorry I'm late. This is David, he's new at the school too and he's new to LA so I took him for dinner and then brought him here. I hope you don't mind, he doesn't know anyone yet," Jessica said as they reached the bar and took a seat on two of the high stools that encircled it. David reached his hand out across the bar and Nick threw the towel in his hand over his shoulder as he shook it.

"David," he said nodding his head.

"Nick," he replied, "Nice to meet you, Jess has told me a lot about you." Nick looked at Jess and she smiled.

"All good things I hope?" he asked as he laid a paper napkin in front of both of them.

"Of course," Jess replied, reaching over and placing a warm kiss on his lips. Nick relaxed a little.

"What can I get you?" Nick asked. David asked for a beer and Jess had a vodka soda. As Nick worked he continued. "So how was your first day?"

She sighed, "Hectic, those kids are crazy. But it's so great teaching kids again. I think David had a shock though, it's his first teaching job." Nick eyed him; he looked a little old to be starting teaching.

"Well it's certainly different from law work!" he said with a laugh. Nick gave Jess a questioning look.

"Oh, David used to be a lawyer, he worked for the UN – can you believe it?" Jess explained. Nick's heart dropped a little once more.

"No I can't, but that's amazing," he answered as he placed their drinks in front of them.

David shook his head, "It's more impressive than it sounds, really."

"So what made you become a teacher?" Nick asked.

"I guess I wanted to do something that made a real difference, I can't really explain it. I wanted to move back west, my mom lives in Colorado, so it seemed like the time to make a change and so far, so good," he smiled as he looked at Jess. "Can you excuse me for a moment?" he asked. They both nodded and he headed off towards the bathroom.

Jess leaned forward over the bar, "So, what do you think? Nice guy, huh?"

"Yeah Jess, he's great," Nick replied dryly as he began to place clean glasses on the shelf behind him.

"Miller, what's up? You're a terrible liar; I can see your sweat back starting already." He slowly turned around to face her.

"Jess, he's fine. Great. Swell guy." Jess pushed out her bottom lip in a pout. "What does it matter what I think? I don't have to work with him."

"Well I think he's a nice guy and I want to help him settle in. Plus, the principle has asked me to mentor him so we're probably going to spend a lot of time together for the next few months. And, on top of that, I care what my boyfriend thinks," she smiled at Nick.

"I'm sorry Jess, he seems nice. I'll try and make an effort, I'm just tired is all," he said.

"Then I think another day in bed is on the cards soon," she said seductively.

"Can't argue with you there!" he replied and they both let out a small laugh.

"I'm back," David said sliding back onto his seat. "So Nick, Jess told me you were training to be a lawyer?"  
"Yep," Nick answered, "I was three semesters from graduation."  
"Wow, that close?" David asked in amazement.

"I realized it wasn't for me, I didn't want to spend my life working for someone else." He lifted up his hands, "How ironic."

"Being a lawyer isn't all it's cracked up to be, there's long hours and you never really clock off. Teaching is not that different actually," he looked at Jess and she nodded, "I envy the freedom you have working here."

"Well, I always said this was temporary and five years later…" his voice trailed off and he smiled.

"Sometimes you just need to find yourself Nick, and sometimes that takes a bit longer than you'd like." Nick smiled and nodded, maybe this guy wasn't so bad after all.

In between customers the three talked easily until the end of Nick's shift. They all said goodbye and Nick walked with Jess to her car and they got in for the ride home.

"So?" she asked as she fastened her seatbelt.

"I'm warming to him," he said reluctantly as he turned the key in the engine. Jess put on a small self-satisfied smile as they started the journey back to the loft.

* * *

Nick was working every evening that week and he saw little of Jess as a result- he got home so late he would crawl into bed beside her and wrap his body around hers before they both drifted into a heavy slumber. It was a different kind of relationship to the one they were used to, but in some ways deeper and more meaningful.

By Friday Jessica was exhausted from her first week of full time teaching in months, but she had agreed with David to spend a few hours going over planning and schemes of work to prepare him for the next week. That morning she had woken up and brushed her hand over Nick's forehead to rouse him, "Nick, baby, wake up," he yawned a little and squinted until her face came into focus.

"Jess," he had smiled and tried to pull her closer to him.

"Hey, calm down, I've got to go get ready. Remember I can't come to the bar to see you later, I'm working late with David, and he's coming over to the loft." Nick's mood fell when he remembered this detail.

"Yeah, that's fine, I'll see you when I get home," he finally replied before reaching up to give her a soft kiss. She smiled and slipped off the bed and out of the room as a small cloud gathered in Nick's mind.

It was 10.30 as Nick pulled up back at the loft. He'd bribed Big Bob to finish his shift, promising to buy him lunch for a week, so he could spend a precious extra few hours with Jess. As he stepped into the apartment, he heard her laughter echoing about the large expanse of space. He looked around; the dining table was covered in papers, files and books but Jess and David were sat on the couch, the TV playing in the background, each with a glass of red wine in hand. They both had their elbows lying on the back of the couch; Jess had her back to the door and couldn't see him. He closed the door quietly behind him and placed his keys on the table beside it. He stood and listened for a second.

"Jess, I want to thank you for all your help this week, I don't think I'd have made it through without you," he said, reaching his arm out and touching her elbow.

"That's so sweet! But it's nothing, really, I remember what it's like when you are new, everything can be overwhelming," they each took a drink. Nick began to feel a little shifty listening in on their conversation.

"Still, I'm so used to the cut throat world of law; it's great to meet such nice people. I think you're great Jess," Jess felt herself blushing at his words and dipped her head.

"Well, if it's any consolation I think you escaped the world of law with your morals intact! Surely that's an achievement," he nodded in reply.

Nick felt he should make his presence known and cleared his throat loudly as he walked into the living area. They both looked up, Jess swivelling her head around to see him. "Nick, I didn't hear you come in, you're early," she cried.

"Yeah, I swapped a shift," he said quietly. David stood up uncomfortably and looked from Nick to Jess.

"Hey, I'd better be going, I can't believe the time, I guess we just got carried away," he walked over to the kitchen and placed his glass in the sink. "Jess, thanks for everything." She got up and went to the table to help him gather his papers and Nick collected a beer from the cooler and sat back down on the sofa, in the place she had vacated, and started flicking through the channels.

Finally, Jess walked him to the door, "Night Nick, Jess –see you Monday," Jess nodded in reply before closing the door behind him. She wandered back over to the sofa and sat down; sliding her legs under her and picking her still half full glass of wine back up. They sat silently for a few minutes and watched the TV screen, each sipping their drinks. Eventually, he spoke, "That was awfully cosy there Jess." She turned to look at him.

"What do you mean?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.

"What I said, you two were looking pretty happy together. I thought he would have left hours ago," he sighed and took a long draw from his bottle, eyes not leaving the TV.

"Well he's a very interesting guy; after we finished working he was telling me about his life in New York. Do you have a problem with that?" she asked.

"Me? Nope," he said, still refusing to meet her glance.

"Nick, look at me," she begged, he ignored her. Finally, she picked up the remote and flicked off the TV screen. Slowly, he turned to face her. "What the hell is wrong?" Nick was silent. "Stop being so childish Nick, have I done something to upset you?"

"It's just," he began, "Seeing you with him and he's so…"

"Don't you trust me? Haven't we already been thought this?" she asked, her voice rising slightly as she spoke. His face softened and he moved closer to her, placing his beer on the table in front of him.

"Jess, of course I do, I know you'd never… But guys like that make me feel like all my decisions have been bad ones. All my choices wrong. He's this successful guy who has lived this exciting life and I'm a law school dropout bartender who is 31 and still has no idea what he really wants to do." He gave her a small smile and she moved herself into his lap and placed her arms around his neck.

"Nick, I love you for who you are. You are a great guy, caring, sensitive, funny, sexy… I know you still think you are lost in some ways but I'm here, beside you and I'm going to help you figure things out in their own time. Right now, I'm enjoying the ride. I think you are amazing, I just wish you realized what you had going for you," she looked into his eyes.

"You're too good for me Jess, I don't deserve you."

"Yes you do Miller," she replied, kissing his nose and making him smile, "And to make up for your grumpiness I now command you to take me to bed and have your wicked way with me."

"Yes ma'am," he replied, picking her up and walking towards his room, still bewildered at what she really saw in him and a nagging doubt still playing at the back of his mind.


	17. A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

**Sorry again for the delay! **

It was early October and the balmy warm of summer had been replaced by a clear chill that began to descend across the city. The weeks started to pass rapidly as the school year began to stretch out. Nick had found himself spending more and more time at the bar; he was taking on greater responsibility now that a permanent manager was still yet to be found. There had been a succession of candidates trialled recently, but none had lasted very long.

Jessica was working long hours too; leaving before 7 in the morning and not usually returning until after 6. It made spending time together a little difficult but they had both promised each other it was only a temporary situation. Nick had decided to apply for the full time position as manager at Clyde's; it made sense since he was practically doing the job anyway and he'd realized he needed to start getting a bit more serious about life. Of course, none of this was due to Jess's handsome and successful new co-worker David. Not at all. Well, at least that's what he told himself…

Jess had been mentoring David for over a month now and she raved to Nick about how well he was doing. "Seriously Nick, he's a natural!" she exclaimed as she nursed a warm cup of tea between her hands.

"That's great Jess," he replied as he went to sit next to her on the sofa and flicked on the TV.

"Nick…" Jess began. He sighed and took a deep breath. Whenever Jess talked about David it made him feel a little sick and his body would automatically stiffen as the tension within him rose. He knew she hated it when he responded in this way; he still smarted from when she had called him childish the first time they had worked late at the loft. Since then, he'd tried so hard to swallow his true dislike and mistrust of her co-worker and show Jess he could be mature about these things.

"Jess, I think it's great that you are able to mentor someone. You are a natural teacher and I'm so proud of you. It's just a little hard that you spend so much time with another guy," he admitted. She smiled a little and shuffled towards him, closing the gap between their bodies.

"Aww, is my boyfriend feeling a little jealous…" she chided.

"A little," he said, catching her eye, "I feel like he sees more of you than I do right now."

"True as that may be, does he get to do this?" She placed her cup on the table then twisted on the sofa to climb into his lap, interlacing her fingers behind his neck. Looking down at him, she studied his face, quickly taking in his strong jaw and expressive eyes; then she pulled him into a deep, satisfying kiss before leaning back to look at him again.

"Well, I really hope not, or your definition of friendship is way different from mine…" he replied breathlessly.

"Ah, I only save that kind of thing for my very special friends. Very special," she said, nodding as she spoke.

"Is that so?" he marvelled, shifting her a little closer to him. She giggled.

"Now, don't forget it's the faculty dinner tomorrow so I won't be home before your shift but I'm going to bring some people over to the bar afterwards, okay?"

"Yes ma'am!" he nodded, giving her a mini salute as he did so.

"And remember, I need you looking good, I want to make all the other teachers jealous of my smokin' hot boyfriend," she said with a smile.

"Duly noted-I will shower, wear deodorant and may even bust out the iron…"

"Whoa, don't go to crazy," Jess laughed. "Come on mister, it's getting late, take me to bed before I change my mind." He didn't wait for her to say anything else and scooped her up in his arms, holding her close and carrying her out of the room.

* * *

The bar was busy as the after work Friday night crowd began to flow in, keeping Nick and the other two staff busy with orders of cocktails and pitchers of beer. For once, Nick was actually starting to enjoy his work. Tonight he was taking charge, coordinating the staff and organizing the flow of service. He had discovered he actually had a knack for managing people; something that surprised him more than anyone else. Shouting instructions across the bar to Big Bob and the servers, he had been a little startled when he felt a small, cool hand slip over his as it lay on the wooden surface. He turned around to see the smiling face of Jess greet him. She grinned as he leaned across and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek, "Hey gorgeous," he said.

"Hello handsome," she replied in a low voice, looking him over. His hair was a little more groomed than usual and he wore a black button down shirt over a white tee which enhanced the tan color of his skin. She bit her lip, feeling a little twirly. As she fluffed her hair with her hand, a moment passed between them; thoughts of what she wanted to do to him later filling her head.

"Uh, Jess, we found a table," came the voice of another man from behind her. Nick looked to see who the voice belonged to; it was David. Quickly flashing his eyes closed, he steeled himself before placing a fixed smile on his face.

"That's great, Nick, you remember David, right?" she said, looking between the two of them.

"Yeah," Nick answered reaching his hand across the bar and shaking David's offered one, "Good to see you man."

"Likewise," David reciprocated, "Jess, I'll see you at the table? We're near the back." She nodded in response before turning once more to Nick.

"Okay, I'd better go join them but promise you'll come over first chance you get?" she requested leaning over closer to him.

"Of course," he promised, pulling her into a lingering, sweet kiss before she hopped off the bar and turned and skipped away.

Yeah, he would be over to see them very soon. He planned on keeping a very close eye on things this evening. Very close.

* * *

Clyde's was so busy that evening that Nick had only managed to visit Jess at her table for about five minutes to be introduced to her co-workers, who by that point in the evening were all pretty merry. He'd smiled and laughed at their jokey innuendo, all the time irked by the closeness at which David had chosen to place himself to Jess, any closer and he will be on her lap, he thought. Their brief chat was ended when Big Bob called him back to the bar.

"Hey guys, I've gotta get back behind the bar, I'll see you later," he told the group, giving a small wave and smiling at Jess.

"I'll come with you," David said, holding up his empty beer bottle, "Need to refresh!" He hopped up from his seat and followed Nick back to the bar, where the new server, Emma, was waiting with an order.

"Just gotta fill this order and I'll be right with you," he told David who nodded in response.

"Sure man," he replied and he sat quietly watching Nick prepare a round of drinks which Emma then placed onto a large, round tray before moving off into the crowd. As she left, David spun round to watch her, letting out a low whistle as he did so. "Damn," he said finally, turning back to face Nick, "Now that, is a fine piece of ass!" Nick was momentarily surprised by David's words.

"W-what?" he asked.

"You're little waitress friend, with the tiny skirt. I'd like to sink my teeth into that. Mmm-hmmm." Nick wasn't quite sure he was hearing correctly, was this the same suave, charming guy he had met before now talking like his head was in the gutter?

"Yeah, Emma is a nice girl," Nick continued diplomatically.

"I hope she's not too nice, if you know what I mean," David replied with a wink. Nick let out a self-conscious laugh as he slid a cool bottle of beer over to David, "Cheers man," he finished before he headed back to the table.

* * *

A while later, Nick still had an uneasy feeling. He didn't like David, clearly, but the way he had spoken about Emma made him feel uncomfortable and sure that there was more to this than Nick being jealous. He was deep in thought when Jess appeared in front of him, immediately leaning across to him and placing a soft kiss on his mouth. "I miss you," she said, in a tipsy voice.

"I miss you too Jess, sorry I can't spend more time with your friends," he apologized. Jess let out a tiny hiccup, which Nick found adorable.

"Well you sir," she said pointing to his chest, "Can make it up to me later."

"Indeed I will, but I think you need to lay off the wine or I'll feel like I am taking advantage."

"I have no problem with that," she assured him with a giggle. Nick took a breath and decided to broach the topic that had been plaguing him.

"Hey Jess, I, er, need to tell you something," he began, "Earlier, when David came over, he was being a little, well, crude, when he was talking about Emma."

"The new waitress?" she asked and Nick nodded. "Oh Nick, I'm sure you're over reacting. David is like one of the most decent and proper guys I've ever met. You probably just misunderstood."

"I don't know…" he started to reply. She gave him a wide eyed pleading look and he decided to end the conversation. "Yeah, you're probably right. Forget I said anything. And here, is something to sober my lady up a little," he placed a glass of Sprite with a little umbrella in it in front of Jess. She beamed at him and placed the black straw between her lips before winking at him and walking away.

* * *

"Urgh," cried Emma, slamming the plastic tray down upon the bar, causing Nick to look up in alarm.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Oh, just some jerk trying to grope me. Man, I hate drunk guys!" she replied, placing her arms on the bar.

"Who was it, do you want me to get Bob to throw him out?" he offered.

"Oh, it's just that guy in the suit," she gestured to the table where Jess was sitting: David was the only man in a suit in that area. He once again felt his body stiffen, that jerk, he thought, feeling his fists start to ball together. "Just forget it, but I'd rather not serve in that area for now."

"Yeah, of course, I'll get Miranda to swap with you. Are you sure you're okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said shaking her head, "Hazard of the job," she finished before starting to give him the next order.

* * *

It was a little later when Nick finally managed to make it over to Jess for his break. The table was quieter now, some people had left and David and a few others had gone outside for a cigarette leaving just Jess and a couple of young female teachers who were deep in conversation with each other. As he slid into the booth next to her, with a glass of ginger ale in his hand, she welcomed him by wrapping her arms around his neck, "Finally," she sighed, pulling him into her.

"Yeah, crazy night, first chance I've had for a break," he mumbled as he placed soft kisses on top of her head.

"Well, you are all mine for the next 30 minutes!" she promised. They sat and chatted, Jess told him about her day and he explained how his first full managing shift was going. He was enjoying it and he told her he was definitely going for the full time job. "That's great! I'm sure you'll get it," she beamed. The conversation continued until Nick felt the burning desire to reveal what Emma had told him about David.

"Jess, can I tell you something," he asked, "About David?" She gave a heavy sigh as she looked across at him.

"Nick, are we going to keep having the same conversation again and again?" she demanded.

"No, this is important, earlier I was talking to Emma and-"

"Look, I know you are a little jealous and insecure around him but you know I love you right? You have nothing to worry about," she insisted, placing her hand on his arm and engaging him in an honest gaze. He felt torn, he wanted her to know what David was really like but at the same time, he didn't want Jess to think he was immature and jealous.

"Okay, you're right, new topic," he smiled and pushed that thought to the back of his mind.

* * *

The bell for last orders had been rung and the remaining stragglers were starting to leave the bar. Jess and her friends were the last table remaining – her, David and the two younger girls who were giggling and wobbling as they tried to stand.

"Nick, you want me to wait for you?" she asked as she approached the bar. He shook his head. "Nah Jess, I'll be at least another half hour to close up. You head home and I'll see you there."

"Okay babe, love you," she said giving him a little wave and blew him a kiss. He watched as the group exited as he set about closing down the cash registers.

* * *

Outside it was a little chilly as they waited for the cab David had called-they were going to share as getting a taxi at that time of night was always hard. The two junior teachers were soon picked up by one of their boyfriends and had bid them a tipsy and hug filled goodbye.

"See ya later girls," Jess chuckled as the car pulled away, "I think someone is going to have quite the headache in the morning." A sudden chill passed through her as the cool evening air began to penetrate her wine armor, "Brrr," she shivered.

"Y'alright?" David slurred. He was looking a little drunk and leaning against the wall of Clyde's.

"Yeah, just a little cold," she explained as she hugged her cardigan covered arms.

"You wanna borrow my jacket?" he offered, gesturing to his coat.

"No, no," she shook her head, "I'm fine." He pushed away from the wall and stepped closer to her.

"C'mon, take my coat," he insisted, getting a bit too close for comfort.

"I said I'm fine David, really," she leant back a little as she talked; she could smell the aroma of stale beer on his breath. Suddenly, she saw his facial expression change into a small scowl and without warning he grabbed her wrist. "Hey," she cried, wincing a little at his tight grip.

"Oookay Jess, it's time to cut the crap," she stared at him, stunned at his change in mood, "All you have done is flirt with me for the past month and I think it's about time we stopped these games."

"What?" she exclaimed, "How dare you? I'm with Nick!"

"Huh," he snorted, "That loser? Please. You need a man who is going places, not some dropout bartender. C'mon give me a kiss," he puckered up his lips and moved to try and kiss Jess. She twisted and turned, blocking him and in response his hand tightened on her wrist.

"Ow, you're hurting me, let me go!" she demanded. But instead, he took hold of her other hand and pulled her body closer to him. Finally instinct took over her body and swiftly she brought her knee up into a heavy blow to his crotch. He yelled in response, letting go of her, his hands moving to protect himself. "Jerk!" she shouted as she ran back to the entrance.

* * *

She arrived at the door just as Big Bob and the waitresses were leaving, "Where's Nick?" she asked breathlessly.

"In the office," Bob answered, "You okay Jess?" he asked.

"Sure," she nodded with a little smile before racing past him to the office. When she arrived at the glass and wood door she burst through it without knocking, causing a startled Nick to swing round in his chair.

"What the-" he paused when he saw it was Jess, "Hey, I thought you were getting a cab." Jess entered the room and slumped down in the sofa beside the desk.

"You were right Nick," she stated simply.

"I was?" he asked, a little confused.

"David, he is a jerk. He just tried to kiss me," she explained. Nick felt a ball of fury quickly grow inside of him.

"That son of a- where is he?" he demanded, rising from his seated position as he did so.

"It's-it's fine. I kneed him in the balls, I think he got the message," she laughed a little as she rubbed the light red marks that now adorned her wrists. Nick moved to sit beside her on the sofa and turned to face her.

"Did he hurt you?" he asked.

"Just grabbed me a little, I'll be fine," she promised. As his fury began to subside, Nick's sense of responsibility began to replace it. If only he had told her what Emma had said.

"Look, this is my fault, I'm so sorry."

"How is it your fault?" she asked quizzically. He moved closer to her and began to examine her wrists.

"Earlier tonight he groped Emma. I tried to tell you but I chickened out. I didn't want you to think I was being immature and jealous," he admitted, before bringing her wrist to his lips and placing small, tender kisses on the marks upon them.

"This isn't your fault. Actually, I should apologize. You obviously picked up on something I didn't see with him. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you," she apologized.

"I could kill him," he said, shaking his head, "I should have known…"

"But I probably wouldn't have listened," she interjected, "I'm very stubborn." He wrapped his arm around her.

"Yeah y'are. And you always see the best in people, which is something I love about you," he lay his head on top of hers and felt her body relax into him.

"Well, I'll always be optimistic but I guess there is room for a little caution. I'll speak to the principal on Monday, get him a new mentor. I really couldn't stand the idea of being in the same room as him anytime soon," she shuddered as the thought passed through her.

"Good," he said, "Because if he laid another finger on you I would probably do something stupid."

"You wanna protect me Miller?" she asked coyly.

"Of course, all I want to do is take care of you," he said quietly. They were silent a little as they both calmed down and let the drama of the evening begin to drain out of their systems.

"Would you hold me?" she asked and he obliged, wrapping his arms around her.

* * *

Nick lay back on the sofa, Jess curled up on top of him, their bodies covered with a thin wool blanket. "I love you," Jess said, kissing his chest as she spoke.

"I love you too," he replied, wrapping his arms around her, "You make me feel like the luckiest guy in the world. Like I could do anything."

"Well you can do anything, don't you believe that?" she asked, looking up at him with wondering eyes. A moment of realisation passed over him. She believed in him, she really did.

"I guess I am just starting to," he admitted, "You know I'd do anything for you, right?"

"I do know," she sighed as she grasped him tightly, never wanting to let go.

**Don't forget - I appreciate comments and reviews!**

**Edit: Ending changed slightly. My intention is never to upset or offend anyone so I apologise if I did.**


	18. Portland - Part One

**I haven't forgotten this little fic ;)**

The hum of the car as it moved along the freeway had a soothing effect on Nick. They'd left the loft at six am in order to make the long drive to Portland for Jess's birthday and he had taken the first eight hour driving shift. As much as he had protested that six am was a ridiculous hour to be rising, Jess had insisted - she didn't want to fly, she wanted to drive. So reluctantly he had agreed. Now he found himself with his face squished against the glass window, body twisted in the somewhat uncomfortable seats of her car trying to get a little more sleep to add to the three hours he had managed before they left.

The dark had descended on the highway but the regular flash of the overhead lights as they passed under them had stopped Nick from falling fully asleep; instead he had descended into a half sleep of partial consciousness…

_The alleyway was dank and smelled of rotten garbage; he hid in the shadows, inching along the crumbling wall with his fingertips, trying not to make a sound. He could hear the breathing of his pursuer; deep rumbling breaths, angry sounding even. Inside his chest his heart raced, the ball of muscle rattling against his bones sending reverberations throughout his whole body. Desperately he tried to calm himself, resting his body against the cool wall behind him as he collected his thoughts. Suddenly he saw a chance – across the alleyway he could see the smooth outline of a metallic door, glinting in the faint moonlight. If he could make it -if he could only reach it… Taking a deep breath, he lunged across the ten feet of space between him and the door, crashing into the opposite wall as he did, his head making contact with the wall, causing him to grimace. Quickly he fumbled for the handle, urgently grabbing it, twisting and turning the smooth knob until realization dawned – it was locked. His breath shuddered as he heard the heavy, purposeful footsteps behind him before they stopped. Slowly he turned, keeping one arm on the wall behind him, pivoting his body until he was face to face with that which scared him most._

"_What are you doing to my daughter?" came the snarl of Bob Day, one hand holding a large wooden mallet, the other curled in a fist. Nick cowered, shirking away from the hulk of a man. "You don't deserve her Rick, I'm going to teach you a lesson." And with that, Bob Day opened his mouth to show a line of shiny gold teeth, his arm raised brining the mallet with it. With that Nick let out a shrieking, high-pitched scream…_

"Arrrghhhh!"

"What the hell Nick," came the urgent voice of Jess as she began to prod him awake, "What's wrong? Are you okay? You sound like you are being murdered!"

He began to pant a little as he pried his eyes open and took stock of where he was – still on the highway, in the car. Feeling his body he checked for marks and bruises – no, it was just a dream. His body slowly relaxed into the seat. "Sorry," he said shuffling a little in his seat, "Just a dream."

"Aw Nick, you had a bad dream, poor baby," Jess reached out and tickled his ear with her finger causing him to squirm.

"Jess," he whined.

"Sorry," she said returning both hands to the wheel with a smile, "What was making you scream? By the way, did I ever tell you that you scream like a girl? Like a twelve year old girl?"

"Um, thanks Jess, you always say the nicest things…" she looked at him in the rear-view mirror with her big blue eyes and he decided to drop it, "And, if you must know, I was dreaming about your dad. Chasing me."

Jess sighed and chewed her lip a little, "Nick, I thought we had talked about this. My father likes you; he just needs a little adjustment time."

"Jess, he told me I wasn't good enough for you, he basically said I was a loser, a bum," he grimaced at the memory. Jess reached over and placed her right hand on his knee and squeezed it gently.

"Trust me, he is going to love you, he's just overprotective is all," she flashed him a quick smile, "Oh hey, here is our turn off!" she finished excitedly, quickly signalling and pulling the car over into the right hand land. Nick placed a small smile on his face, for her benefit; inside however his stomach was churning and twisting into knots and a worried feeling was filling him inside out.

* * *

The next morning they lay sprawled together on the king sized bed at the Hilton Garden hotel. His arm was scooped around her bare stomach, his face buried in her fragrant hair as he listened to her slow, regular breathing. Underneath his fingers her skin felt so soft, like silk. Still, after all this time, he hadn't got used to this - this intimacy. Something deep inside him kept expecting her to wake up one day and realize she was making a huge mistake and take all this away - so every moment, every embrace, every feeling he drank in and soaked almost into his very being. Savoring it and creating a sense memory.

Whimpering a little she slowly began to turn in his arms until her face was mere inches from him, giving him that gorgeous, bright morning smile that made his heart flip. Reaching forward, she placed a small kiss on his mouth, "Morning handsome," she said flirtatiously, taking hold of his hip with one hand.

"Good morning to you too," he replied, shifting their bodies a little closer together. He found himself staring into her blue eyes, almost getting lost in them as a comfortable silence fell. "So," he finally said, "What are the plans for today?"

She reached up and pushed her fingers through his thick dark hair before resting her hand on the side of his face, "Well, we do have a lot of people to see before the party tomorrow and later we have to meet my dad for dinner." He groaned loudly and his face dropped at the prospect of seeing Bob Day for the first time since he had admitted to him he was sleeping with his daughter.

"Hey My Grumpy," said Jess, tipping up his chin with her hand, "It'll be fine." She engaged him in a look that made him soften a little. "And, well, we do have a little time this morning where I was thinking, that maybe…" her voice trailed off as her other hand reached across the small gap between them, her fingers tracing down his chest, lower and lower. He took in a sharp breath at the feel of her touching his skin.

"Yeah," he said, his voice a little ragged.

"Well, maybe, if you're _up _for it-" she paused and licked her lips as he watched her pinky tongue swirl around; he swallowed hard. "But, if you're not interested-" she began, rolling away from him quickly. Swiftly, he grabbed her arm, pulling her onto his lap as he rolled on his back. His other arm reached up and wound itself into her hair, pulling her into him for a scorching kiss.

"You're not going anywhere Day," he said breathlessly before pressing her against him once more.

* * *

That evening they arrived at the small Mexican restaurant where they would be meeting Bob Day. The walls were a vibrant terracotta shade and the main lighting source was the multitude of candles that adorned the tables and walls, casting a somewhat eerie yet intimate shade on the diners. The small table they sat at was near the rear of the restaurant, already busy with dinners chatting and eating, as in the corner a small mariachi band played. The cheerful music was at odds with the feeling of dread that consumed him.

Sensing his nervousness she reached across and wrapped his hand in hers, "Hey Nick, it'll be fine. Dad's going to love you," she promised. Nick reached across and took a drink of his margarita, not really answering her, his eyes studying the menu that lay on the table in front of him.

"Dad!" Jess cried, jumping out of her seat and letting go of Nick's hand. He looked up and saw the large figure of Bob Day approaching them and watched as Jess wrapped her arms around her father's neck, placing a kiss on his cheek as she greeted him. Nervously, Nick stood, straightening his shirt as he waited for the greeting between father and daughter to end.

"Dad," Jess said as she stepped to one side, "You remember _Nick." _Bob answered with what sounded like a clearing of his throat. Nick held his hand across the table and Bob reluctantly took hold of it, a perfunctory handshake taking place.

"Nice to see you Bob- I mean Mr. Day, er, sir," Nick babbled as Bob extracted his hand from him.

"Yeah," Bob said non-committedly as he turned his attention to his daughter, taking hold of her hand and spinning her around, "Honey, you look beautiful." He finished with a glaring look at Nick, making him feel like an intruder in this family moment.

"Thanks Dad," she replied with a smile. Nick sighed as he sunk back into his seat; this was going to be a long night.

* * *

Before long they had ordered and Jess had told her father about her plans for the weekend. Whilst waiting for the food, she stood, "Excuse me while I go powder my nose, you boys play nice!" she teased as she walked away from the table. The two men sat in tense silence, each nursing their drinks. Nick's foot tapped nervously against the floor.

"Would you stop that tapping? It's giving me a headache," Bob snapped. Nick froze, pressing his legs together, filling his mouth with a mouthful of his tequila laden cocktail. Bob cleared his throat, "Hey Rick-"

"_Nick,"_ he interjected.

"Whatever," said Bob with the wave of a hand, he placed both hands on the table in front of him and interlaced his fingers, "What are your intentions towards my daughter?" Nick's eyes began to dart around the room as he processed Bob's unexpected questioning – _he certainly didn't waste any time._

"Um, well," he coughed nervously, pulling a little at his collar which suddenly felt tight, "Well, I really care about your daughter, sir-"

"You do? Great," Bob scoffed, "You still a bartender?"

Nick squirmed in his seat, feeling the other man's hot gaze upon him, "Well yes, but-"

"Well, _Nick, _if that is the case how do you intend on supporting _my daughter_?"

"Supporting?" Nick asked in a high pitched voice.

Bob leant over the table, his hands flat on the linen clad surface, "Yeah, support her. Last I heard, bartenders weren't earning much."

"Well," Nick began, flustered, "I'm actually planning on, you know, going for manager soon-"

"Oh, so then you'll be a bar _manager, _hmph," Bob folded his arms and shrugged his shoulders. Something inside Nick clicked at this moment; Bob Day had judged him without even knowing him. He resented not having the chance to prove himself, not being able to show him that he did deserve his daughter.

"Mr Day - Bob- I think we have got off on the wrong foot. Yes, I am a barman, yes I have meandered through my 20's with little to no direction. But you have to know, I would do anything, _anything _for Jess," he spoke pleadingly, giving the older man an earnest gaze. "And all I want is to prove to you that I am good enough for her."

Bob looked at him and the seconds ticked by as Nick held his breath, waiting for a response. Finally, Bob leant across the table and spoke in a low voice, "I'm watching you Nick, you hurt my daughter, I kill you." Nick felt a cold chill go through him at Bob's words, only stopped by the feel of Jess's arm on his shoulder.

"Hey, how are my two favorite boys getting on?"

* * *

After dinner, they sat finishing their drinks. Jess had been the catalyst for most of the conversation, splitting her attentions between Nick and her father. If she had noticed the tensions between them she had tactfully avoided mentioning it. Finally, they ordered the bill and Bob stood up. "Be back in a moment pumpkin," he said giving Jess a smile before starting to turn away. Suddenly, he paused; staggering back a little he clutched the back of his chair with one hand, the other reaching up to his chest.

"Dad?" Jess asked, rising out of her chair. Bob didn't reply, he turned to her, his face taking on a peculiar grayish shade as his legs began to bend and he sunk slowly to the floor, "Dad!" Jess screamed, causing the diners nearby to stop and turn to look. As Bob's knees touched the floor, Jess flung herself across the table, chair tipping over behind her, swiftly followed by Nick.

Dashing behind him, Bob sank back into his daughters arms, "Jess," he said breathlessly, "I think-I think I'm having a…a heart attack."

Slowly, Bob's eyes rolled closed as his weight began to push further against Jessica. Quickly, Nick took hold of Bob's body, taking the strain from her and laying him flat on the tiles floor of the restaurant, he was mumbling incoherently as Jess leant over him, distraught.

"Daddy, daddy," she whimpered, tears beginning to flow freely from Jess's eyes, her breathing heaving, "Daddy, no," she clutched tightly onto his arm as he began to slip into unconsciousness.

Without thinking, Nick turned onto autopilot; seeing her so distressed sparked something in him. He moved quickly, running to the front of the restaurant, pushing past patrons and servers as he went,"Quick, call 911, now!" he demanded to the server at the greeting station, "There is a man having a heart attack!"

* * *

He'd never seen Jessica Day crumble like that before – as the paramedics had arrived and worked on her father she had clung to Nick, her body wracked with sobs, mumbling into his chest. Later, crouched in the back of the ambulance on the way to the hospital, he'd held her close, whispered words of reassurance in her ear as he felt her begin to strengthen as the journey passed.

At the hospital, things passed in a blur. Nick took charge, organizing paper work, calling Joan – as Jess began to return to her senses after the shock of her father's collapse. Time buzzed by as Bob was taken away; in the family waiting room they sat drinking cups of unappetizing coffee as they waited for news.

"Miss Day?" came the voice of a young looking doctor in mint green scrubs from across the room. She stood quickly, an expectant look on her face.

"Yes?" she cried.

"You can see your father now." Jess quickly raced over to the doctor, followed closely by Nick.

"Now, he's still asleep, but he's stable. Luckily it was only a minor incident, but we will need to closely monitor him and have some discussions about his lifestyle," the doctor warned as they walked along the white, gleaming corridor before ending at room number 117. "Here you go," he said opening the door, "Remember, he's resting." Jess nodded as she slipped thought the door, rushing over to the bed, pulling a small plastic chair to its side.

"Dad," she whispered, taking in the machines and tubes that surrounded her father. Nick walked up to her, placing his hands on her shoulders and laying a kiss on her head. She turned to look at him; her eyes still a little red from her earlier tears. "Nick, I was so, so scared."

"I know," he said, pulling a chair up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist, burying his head in her neck, "I know Jess."

"Nick, how did you cope, you know, when you're dad…" her voice trailed off.

"I don't know Jess, I guess, you just do," he smiled, "But you know, whatever happens, I'm right here, holding your hand."

"Thank you, for taking charge back there. I've never felt like that before – I just panicked. I've always been the strong one, the capable one, cool in a crisis…"

"Jess, you don't have to be strong around me, you don't have to pretend. My job is to support you, to take care of you. All I want to do is take care of you," he snuggled into her as waves of relief flooded her body, listening to her father's steady breathing.

"I hope he's going to be okay," she said in whisper.

"He will, I promise," Nick replied.

"How can you know that?" she said, turning her head to face him. He took hold of her face with one hand and stared into her eyes.

"Because I love you and I would do anything, anything to make you not hurt. If I have anything to do with it, your father will be fine. Look, he is in the best hands here. Trust me."

"What would I do without you Nick," she asked whimsically, reaching out her hand, touching her father's arm.

"I hope you never have to find out," Nick replied.

* * *

Over the beep of the machinery around him, Bob began to rouse from his slumber. He felt he wasn't alone; looking up at the clock he saw it was two am. He slowly tried to push himself up the bed; his chest throbbed in protest, his body still weak from the earlier collapse. The room was lit only by the light of the machinery and the glowing outline around the door of the corridor lighting.

Sighing, he turned his head to one side and there he saw her. She was curled in a ball, her chocolate curls ruffled and messy, her legs brought up to her chest. Beneath her was Nick, his arms wrapped around her, their heads lay against each other. In her lap their hands were intertwined, whilst a smile played at her lips.

As he watched them, he saw Nick kiss her cheek in his sleep and mumble a dreamy, "I love you," at which her grip on him tightened. The sight made Bob sigh heavily; she looked so happy - she looked safe, taken care of. _Maybe I do have to start getting used to the idea of this guy, _he thought as he closed his eyes again and tried to get a few more hours rest.

**I feel so bad for leaving this this long - so much to do, so little time! Do you want me to keep going with this one?**


	19. Portland - Part Two

"Mom, are you sure?" Joan was busying herself emptying several large canvas grocery bags onto the cream, marble countertop as Jess began to place the items in the cupboards of the kitchen.

"Of course honey!"

Pushing up the sleeves of her red flannel shirt Jess sighed and slipped onto one of the stools that surrounded the kitchen island, "But with Dad being sick and all…" Joan stopped what she was doing and walked over to her daughter, placing her hands on her shoulders.

"Your father is going to be fine. He's already out of hospital! You came all this way for your birthday, you can't cancel your plans," she gave her daughter's shoulders a squeeze.

"I guess…" Jess replied hesitantly, putting her hands over her mother's and giving her a lopsided smile, "Maybe just for a few hours would be okay?"

"Of course!" Joan cooed as she pulled her into a bear hug.

"Hey ladies," came Nick's voice as he entered the kitchen with the last of the groceries, "That is everything I think. Oh, looks like I'm interrupting some mother daughter bonding thing," he added as he saw the two women embracing.

"No, of course not Nick! Just giving my daughter a hug. Come on," she beckoned to Nick to join them. He shook his head and folded his arms with a frown.

"Mom, Nick isn't a hugger," Jess insisted, giving Nick an apologetic glance.

"Nonsense!" Joan cried, pulling Nick into the hug, "Who doesn't like a good hug out?"

Nick winced a little as Joan tugged him close until he caught Jess's eye. They were apologising but at the same time they showed a sliver of happiness in their blue depths. He smiled and wrapped his arm around her.

* * *

"Nick, I think this may have been your finest idea yet," she sighed as lay back on the soft cotton sheets of the bed. Nick groaned a little in response. She looked over at him. He sat on the small sofa at one end of the room, eating the last few bites of his club sandwich. His feet were perched on the small coffee table in front of him. "An afternoon of room service and bad TV? Amazing."

He flipped his feet onto the floor and stood up, moving over to the bed, sitting next to her on the edge. "Are you sure? I mean, it's your birthday. Don't you want to do something more exciting?"

The television in the background was playing what must have been the fifteenth episode of Law and Order that afternoon. She reached over and grabbed the remote from the bedside table and pressed the mute button. "This is what I needed - to take my mind off things. Don't you think I've had enough excitement for one weekend?"

"Okay, maybe," he smiled, moving up the bed so he was sat next to her, their bodies propped up by overstuffed hotel pillows.

"And don't forget we have drinks later in the city," she snuggled into him, "I'm just so glad Dad is okay." Yawning a little, she winced as she stretched out her arms, "Ouch," she cried as she massaged her shoulder.

"Y'alright?" he asked, moving his hands to where hers lay.

"I think the other night sleeping in a chair hasn't been kind on my back."Nick took hold of her hips and gently pulled her down the bed, "Take of your shirt and turn over," he ordered.

"Nick, I'm not really in the mood right now…"

Knotting his fingers together he pressed them forwards, making a slight cracking sound. "As much as I'd love to Jess, on this occasion I'm not trying to get in your panties. I meant a massage. You have yet to experience the magic Miller fingers."

She looked at him a little sceptically, "Um, Magic fingers?"

"I try not to tell too many people – word got around one semester in college and I had a line of girls beating down my door-" she gave him a look that told him to change tact, "What I mean is – I'm good. Very good."

"Alright then, prove it," she challenged as she tugged off her t-shirt and flipped over so she was lying on her front, wearing only her white cotton bra and a pair of red polka dotted shorts.

Shuffling over the bed, he slung one leg over her body and sat up on his knees. Slowly, softly he began to knead his thumbs into the area below her neck. Moving in small, deliberate circles carefully out towards her shoulders - the warmth of his hands soothing her aching muscles. She let out an appreciative sigh as he continued to roll and stretch her skin, pressing his thumbs against the outline of her spine, moving gradually lower.

Unable to resist, he reached down and placed a kiss on her shoulder. She sighed again, this time a little louder. Her skin was silk beneath his hands, he was scared to press too hard, she seemed so delicate. Her hair had pooled on one side of her head, in chocolate colored ripples – he watched her profile as he continued to work. He eyes occasionally fluttering a little, her lips pursing and then opening. Occasionally, her tongue ran across them, darkening their redness, as she breathed a little heavier.

He ran his palms over her back and settled on the strap that divided it in two. He rested there for a second, and when she didn't object he used one hand to unhook the strap and let the bra slip to her sides.

Digging his palms into her lower back, her pushed them upwards in a rolling action, "Oh damn," she cried softly, causing a smile to erupt on his face. She rolled her hips in pleasure, pressing up against him, "You weren't lying."

He continued to work: thumbs, fingers, palms. Jess felt her skin buzz with warmth and her muscles softened through his touch; the aching twinge she had earlier felt slipped away as she relaxed into the soft down topper of the mattress. "Don't ever stop," she begged in a low, quiet voice.

He leaned a little closer to her and whispered, "I have to stop at some point Jessica." She felt a shiver when he said her name. He knew what this did to her.

"Is that so Miller?" she teased. Quickly, she turned her body over so they were now face to face, her bra barely still in place, slipping down and inch or two. "I think any stoppage should be on my terms. After all, it is my birthday."

He cleared his throat, "Uh, well, yeah…" his hands paused on her waist.

"What are you waiting for?"

He raised his eyebrows and looked down. She nodded. His fingers began to work again, moving slowly upwards until he reached her underwire of her bra. He hesitated briefly before slipping his fingers inside and slowly massaging her breasts. Her eyes rolled backwards as she flexed her body before she used one hand to pull down the thin cotton straps and moved the obstruction to one side.

With free reign, he sank his hips into her and began his caresses anew; pinching and rolling her nipples in between his finger and thumb. Her breath came in short bursts – soft moans and then heavier sounds, from deep in her throat.

He dipped his head to her chest and took one breast in his mouth, rolling his tongue over its hard apex as he slid one hand around her neck, rubbing his thumb against the indentation at the base.

"Stop," she muttered into his ear. He did as she asked, pulling back.

"I thought you said I never had to stop," he said, breathing heavily.

"Then I reminded you it was my birthday," she teased, pushing her hips up towards him with a lazy smirk on her face. He gave her a triumphant smile in reply, "Now take of your clothes and stop teasing me. There's only so much a girl can take," she finished as she ran a hand slowly up his thigh.

"Yes Ma'am," he replied, already pulling off his shirt. He didn't need asking twice.

* * *

She stared in the mirror as she fluffed her bangs before pulling a tube of dark pink lip gloss from her purse and adding a fresh coat. The bathroom was the fancy kind with real towels and a uniformed attendant; Jess tipped a dollar as she headed back into the crowded bar. She'd left Nick alone with her old school friends Marnie and Alicia for five minutes now – she was worried they might have eaten him alive.

True to form, the two women had moved to sit on either side of Nick-Marnie had her hand on his arm and Alicia was leaning close enough to make anyone feel a little uncomfortable. Jess shook her head. Other than Cece these were two of the few people she had stayed friends with from school. Ditzy yet sweet girls in high school, they had yet to change and were still best friends. They seemed to have a little trouble with boundaries.

"Hey girls, can you give my boyfriend some breathing space?" Jess watched as Marnie moved to the other side of the table and she slid next to him, placing her arm around his waist, pushing her head into the crook of his arm.

"Had enough?" he whispered into her ear.

"Almost," she replied softly, looking at her watch. It was almost midnight - it had been a long day.

"Jessie, Nick was telling us all about growing up in Chicago." Alicia turned her attention to Nick, "Did I tell you I looovvveee your accent?"

He chuckled and scratched the layer of scruff on his cheek, "You mentioned it… Four or five times earlier."

"Oops, too much wine," she laughed as she pointed to her half empty glass.

"It's so nice to see you guys! I just with the others could have stayed later," Jess sighed as she picked up her glass of rose.

Marnie gave Alicia a disdainful look, "Well that's what happens when you get all coupled up and have kids. We want to enjoy our youth. Like you and Cece!"

"I'm still so jealous you get to live in LA," Alicia added, "I mean all those parties, the movie stars, the glamour…"

"It's not quite like that." Nick replied, hooking his arm over Jess's shoulder.

"Yeah, I mean life is pretty much the same as here most of the time."

The music in the bar was becoming louder, with a stronger bass sound throbbing and vibrating everything it touched. Jess felt her head throb; the events of the past few days taking their toll.

"So are you guys gonna, you know-" Alicia began, pouring the last drops of wine into her mouth.

Nick narrowed his eyes, "Gonna?"

"Get married, have kids. Join the masses," Marnie finished, leaning over the table slightly as she spoke.

They both looked at each other. Their mouths slightly open. Jess tilted her head to one side. Nick gave her a half smile and a one shoulder shrug. No one had ever actually asked them this yet. These girls didn't beat around the bush.

"We haven't really talked about that kind of stuff," Jess began.

"Ooh! So that means you have at least thought about it." Alicia and Marnie laughed as Jess squirmed a little, feeling hot.

Nick cleared his throat, "It's in the cards, at some point. Gotta lock down this one before she realizes she can do so much better." His voice was light-hearted but she heard the twinge of insecurity.

"Nick," she said softly jabbing him lightly with her elbow. He looked down at her. She gave him a look. A wide eyed honest look that said in part I love you and in part we'll talk about this later.

He took the hint and changed the conversation, "Okay ladies, I think we can hit at least one more bar tonight, where to next?"

And the two other women launched into a debate about whether to head to the Mexican themed bar down the road or hit the Irish pub three blocks away. He let them argue over it as he squeezed Jess closer.

* * *

One a.m. had rolled into two and finally three before they eventually decided to leave O'Malley's Pub and took a cab back to the hotel. Arriving in the lobby, Jess had removed her heels and flexed her aching feet as they waited for the elevator to the eighth floor.

The doors pinged and they wearily rode in silence; when they arrived at the door he slid in the plastic card and pushed the door open, almost falling in to their room.

"That was fun," she said sleepily, already unzipping her dress, stepping out of it where he stood. Nick gave her an appreciative glance as he loosened his belt and the buttons of his shirt.

"It was. Shame your other friends couldn't stay later-as much fun as Marnie and Alicia were."

Jess pulled a face at him. The two women had spent most of the time in the Irish bar talking to a couple of seedy looking men who said they were from Detroit 'on business'. "Yeah, well, they've all got kids and responsibilities. People tend to do this stuff kinda early in Portland," she replied as she slipped under the silky cotton comforter.

"So do you think if you had stayed that you would have…" he didn't finish his sentence. Stood at the end of the bed, he shook off his pants as he watched her.

"Maybe," she shrugged, before patting the bed beside her, beckoning him. "But I didn't. And then I met you."

She lay on her back as he lifted the cover and joined her. He slid onto his side, propped up by one arm, looking down at her. "And that was a good thing?" he asked, half joking but with a serious edge.

"Of course you dummy," she laughed, pushing him in the chest so hard he had to stop himself falling backwards. "I can't imagine my life without you in it," she added quietly.

He placed a hand on her bare stomach, stroking the soft skin. With a deep breath he moved closer, so they were hip to hip. "Neither can I," he admitted. He paused, his eyes dropped and he licked his lips- like he did sometimes when he was thinking. "Jess, you know I love you right?" she nodded. "I need to know-are you sure? I mean, well, what I'm trying to say are you in this for real? The whole deal?" His face was etched with an expression she hadn't seen before. It was vulnerable, scared, and expectant –all at once.

"Of course Nick I-" she reached up and cupped his face with her palm.

"It's just, we've not really talked about this properly. Marnie and Alicia got me thinking and- I do want it all and I need to know we are 100% on the same page."

She reached up and kissed him, "Nick, I'm a 31 year old woman who isn't in the business of time wasting. Life's short you know? I love you and I want all that with you, everything. Eventually. No big rush."

"No big rush," he echoed, his body sinking a little into hers.

"I mean we've been dating for less than a year."

"Yeah," he laughed, "That's true."

"Let's enjoy this ride. We both know where it's heading, right?"

Nodding, he curled into her as she turned onto her side, nuzzling into her soft hair and settling her hips into his.

"Yeah. I can't wait," he whispered with a kiss.

* * *

"Dad, you have to promise me you are going to follow this diet."

"Honey - it's all rabbit food- where's the meat?" Bob exclaimed as he waved the photocopied nutrition sheet in the air.

Taking it from his hand, she laid in on the small table in front of the sofa. "You need to lower your cholesterol, Dad! Doctor's orders." She gave him her best teacher voice and he sank back into his chair. She smiled a triumphant smile."Okay, I'm going to hit the ladies room-we have a loonnnggg drive ahead," she squeezed Nick's hand before she stood up.

The two men were alone for the first time since their talk in the restaurant, the night of Bob's heart attack a week ago. Nick squeezed his hands anxiously, unsure what to say. "How about those Trailblazers, eh?" Bob looked serious.

"Okay, we need to talk. And fast." Nick gulped. "Jess-well, I can see she really likes ya." Nick nodded, unsure what so say. "And you?"

He waited for Nick to reply, "Well, I, uh, I love her Bob. I mean, Mr. Day. Sir."

"Hmm," Bob mumbled. "You see my problem Nick? I want the best for my baby girl. Every father does – maybe you will learn that one day. I'm not going to lie – you being a bartender doesn't fly with me."

Nick felt himself grow smaller, his shoulders shrinking in towards his body as the other man spoke.

"But – and it kills me to say it- I saw the way you looked after her the other night and, well, I was impressed."

Slowly, a large grin began to appear on Nick's face. He tried to hold it back.

"And although I'm not thrilled about this-this situation, I'm willing to give you a chance. I can see you care and you look after her well."

"Well, sir, I – I appreciate that. All I want is for Jess to be happy, you know?"

"And that's all I want ,kid." Bob finally gave him a smile, it was the first one since Bob had found out about things between them. It was a small step towards his approval, but a step it was. "Just don't screw up. And get yourself a real job." Nick nodded until he heard the clip of shoes on hard wood floors approaching.

"I'm back! You two okay?" she asked as she leaned down to give her father a kiss.

"Just a little man talk sweetheart. Male bonding."

She gave Nick a quizzical smile and he simply shrugged his shoulders in reply.


End file.
